The Whale - The Office (Season 9, Episode 7)

Andy Skypes into the office from his boat. He is severely sunburned, loses his supply of fresh water in the ocean, and is going mad from lack of human contact after only two days on the boat. The Skype call ends after he accidentally drops his device into the ocean.

Dwight is tasked with winning the Scranton White Pages account. However, the CEO is a woman, and Dwight has trouble selling to women. Pam and the women of the office teach him how to interact with women. The lesson, which is supported by Nellie, Erin, Meredith, and Phyllis, goes nowhere, with Dwight unable to grasp the concept of simple niceties, and they give up. Pam goes with Dwight to the White Pages, only to find out that the buyer is Jan Levinson. Jan was expecting to meet with CEO David Wallace, and reprimands her assistant for the confusion. Pam quickly realizes that the meeting was just a ruse to take revenge on David for firing her five years prior.

However, Dwight remains determined to make the sale, so he has Pam stall while he gets Clark, intuiting that Jan has an attraction to underage boys due to her rumored affair with her 17-year-old former assistant Hunter. After he introduces Clark to her, Jan says she will think about it, and tells everyone to leave her office except Clark. As Pam and Dwight leave, Dwight offers a sympathetic comment to Jan's emotionally abused female assistant. Pam is pleased, seeing that some of the lessons they gave Dwight on women sunk in after all.

Angela confides in Oscar that she suspects her husband, Robert—who is secretly having a relationship with Oscar—of cheating on her. Oscar thinks that Robert may be seeing another man besides him and convinces Angela that they should spy on Robert at his yoga class. They hide outside of the class and watch as Robert spends time with a younger woman who later turns out to have a boyfriend. Oscar then notices Robert spending most of the yoga practice with a young man, which he finds suspicious. After the class, Robert phones Oscar, and his phone goes off. Oscar panics and silences the phone, and Angela immediately realizes why.

Jim is on a business call with the investors and members of the business venture he is up for. Many distractions from the background make the call difficult. At the end of the day, Jim apologizes, but then hears the person on the phone saying this is not working out. Toby convinces several of the men in the office to grow mustaches for "Movember". He says he is doing this to support the cure for prostate cancer but is actually using it for a chance to socialize more with the office, to no avail. Pete later shows Erin his mustache, but she finds it repulsive. He shaves it off after that.

Best Funny Quotes From The Office - The Whale

Photo of Andy Bernard
on computer screen Ah, what else? I’ve seen Dirty Dancing like, ten times. Breaks my heart every time, you know?
Whoa!
Photo of Everyone
Photo of Pam Beesley
Andy.
That Swayze sure can dance dirty.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Phyllis
Don’t you have any sunblock?
No, Walter J has been hoarding it. You want to worry about a part of my body, worry about my eyes. They’re like two flaming meatballs in my skull.
Photo of Andy Bernard

Photo of Erin
Last week Andy set sail for the Bahamas to sell his family’s boat, and he took his brother, but not me. I was kind of sad at first, but then I remembered that Bob Marley song — No, woman. No cry.

on computer Check this out. Keeps my hair out of my stare, also helps me combat the glare bear. That’s what I call the sun now.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Andy, it’s Darryl. Take your drawers off your head.
What else can I show you? Oh, damn it!
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Erin
Oh, Andy, was.. was that your drinking water?
Yeah, it was. That’s okay though. I got this cool desalinator device. It sucks up sea water through this hose and pumps out fresh water. See, check it out. Ow!
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Everyone
Oh!
Ah! That’s not good. I better sign off. I hate to get going. I mean these skype sessions are, like, the only thing that keep me sane out here, you know? laughs crazily
Photo of Andy Bernard

Photo of Darryl Phylbin
He’s been sailing for two days.

on computer I will leave you with this. The image of a man and his boat. Burn this into your brains.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Erin
laughing Yeah.
No. No! Nooo! computer falls into ocean
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Erin
Andy? Andy! Andy! Andy. Oh.

answering phone Dwight Schrute. turns on speakerphone Well, hi there David Wallace. Why would you ever call me when the manager is out of town?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of David
on speakerphone Well, I have some very exciting news.
And you didn’t call Jim – that seems significant.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Hi, David.
Jim, good! You should hear this too.
Photo of David
Photo of Dwight Schrute
No, he shouldn’t.
taking away Dwight’s handset Go ahead David, I’m listening.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay, David, I want to take you off speaker but… I don’t know where I’d put you.
Guys, listen, this is big news. The Scranton White Pages just got in contact with my office the day before yesterday. They’ve apparently just dropped the supplier they’ve been with for the last ten years. .
Photo of David
Photo of Dwight Schrute
The White Pages.

The White Pages: Do you want it? No. Do you use it? No. Does it inexplicably show up on your doorstep three times a year? Yes, yes, and yes. There’s a reason that we in the paper industry call this thing "the White Whale". Look at all that sweet blubber.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of David
Look, we need our top salesman running point on this and Dwight, that is you.
I’m gonna need to put you on hold for a second. presses hold button Hah! Yah! Woooo! Eat it Jim! Eat it Phyllis! Eat… where’s Stanley?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Erin
He’s in the bathroom.
Will you run into the bathroom and tell him to eat it?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Erin
Of course.
Yeah! Okay. presses button again Hey David, I’m back.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Erin
from the kitchen Eat it Stanley!
So uh, last I remember Tom Peterman was in charge of that account?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of David
No, I spoke with the receptionist over there. It’s someone new but she didn’t catch her name.
Her name?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Phyllis
No, hey, Dwight shouldn’t…
Shhh! clears throat Thanks David! Thank you so much for calling me!
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of David
Good luck!
Good luck to you. disconnects call
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Phyllis
Dwight, you can’t go. You have a problem with women. You can’t sell to them.
That is a damnable lie. I love women.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Phyllis
Gina Rogers at Apex Technology said you called her ‘gy-na’ for your entire meeting.
Ew. That’s not good.
Photo of Nellie
Photo of Phyllis
Yeah, she said she corrected him five times.
‘Gy-na’ said that?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Phyllis
Guys, we can’t let Dwight blow this. An account this size could double our growth. That means raises, bonuses… Pizza Friday could come back.
Hey remember that week in the 90’s when we got bagels?
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Photo of Creed Bratton
I miss Clinton.
Can you go instead?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
I can’t. I have the thing.

I have this conference call today with this company in Philly that I’m helping start. Ah, first board meeting. Also, the first time I’ve ever been excited about work. So, that feels… wrong.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Pete
Okay, call down. It’s just me, not Tom Selleck.
laughter
Guys in breakroom
Photo of Kevin Malone
Nice!

Toby got us all to participate in Movember. It’s a charity for prostate cancer. You pledge money and then you grow a mustache for the month of November.
Photo of Pete
Photo of Clark
So, this is how we look now. I hope you like being turned on all the time.

Daaaaamn! It just keeps on coming, huh?
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Toby Flenderson
I have very fertile hair glands.

I am so glad I got all of the dudes to do Movember. We have the dopest time back in the annex.
Photo of Toby Flenderson

Photo of Clark
God!

We even go to lunch, pick up babes.
Photo of Toby Flenderson

Photo of Toby Flenderson
to passing female pedestrian Smile if you love men’s prostates.

Hi.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Hi.
Spring cleaning?
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
More like fall cleaning. chuckles
whispering I think the senator is having an affair.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
dropping desk drawer This doesn’t… I’m sorry. Wha… what?
I think the senator is having an affair.
Photo of Angela Martin

Photo of Oscar Martinez
I literally have nightmares in which what just happened happens. I wake up in a sweat. And then I make Angela’s husband spoon me back to bed.

When he comes home in the morning, he has this secret little smile.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Oh, I’m sure …that’s nothing.
And he’s always at the yoga studio. He never misses the noon class – it’s Hot Yoga with Blake.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Angela, Blake’s also a guy’s name so he… may be spending his afternoons with a guy named Blake. So nothing to worry about. Huh. Blake. Who is Blake?
I don’t know.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
I just never heard about the senator and yoga…
Right.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
From you. I’m sure it’s probably nothing. But what’s with the yoga already?
Right?
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
And Blake! All right Angela, calm down! We need to go check this out.
What?
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Angela, I’ll go with you.

So, uh, show us how you’d normally sell to a female client.
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay. With pleasure. Get ready to learn a few new tricks, old dog.
You’ve got this Schrute.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Phyllis
Okay, you just walked into her office and begin.
Hello.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Erin
Hello.
May I please speak to your boss?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Phyllis
No, she is the boss.
I am? Hmm.. deep voice Hi, I’m Mr. Hannon. How can I help you?
Photo of Erin
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay, this isn’t working for me, ‘cause no one would ever believe that she would be a boss.
He’s absolutely right. I’m really struggling.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh, I’ll be the buyer.
sighing
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Hello, Mr. Schrute, nice to see you. Please have a seat.
I never sit down during sales meetings. I want to appear aggressive and imposing. I am going to sell to you in twelve minutes
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Phyllis
No actually, she likes to take her time discussing her needs.
I will tell her what her needs are and then fill them. So this is going to work out best for you if you just relax and do nothing. And once I’m finished, it’s over.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Okay, let’s stop here. Anyone have any thoughts?
I thought it went great.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Nellie
I have uh, written down a few questions. One, have you ever killed a woman? Two, how many women have you killed? Please, sir, will you not kill me?

on phone Okay lets get started.
Business partner
Photo of Jim Halpert
Yeah, I’m here. Are we all on?
Uh,, well you’re the only one ‘on’ – we’re all here.
Business partner
Photo of Jim Halpert
nervous laughter Right. Okay, uh, over the next three months…
That’s the winter season., three months.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Jim Halpert
I uh, I have some ideas, actually…
Are you at your office right now?
Business partner
Photo of Jim Halpert
hushed voice Uh yeah. Trust me, I’d rather be with you guys.
laughing Uh, yeah, that sounded kinda spooky-sexy, over here Halpert.
Business partner
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh, clearing throat, deeper voice Sorry, I uh… was just saying that we should uh…
Whoa. laughing I think there’s been a bit of a mistake. We’re trying to reach Jim Halpert, not Batman.
Business partner
Photo of Jim Halpert
laughing Um, you know what? I.. should have just had… I should have just had you call me on my cell.
Uh, yeah…
Business partner
Photo of Jim Halpert
I’m gonna try a different spot. Okay?
Okay, yeah.
Business partner
Photo of Jim Halpert
Okay, I’ll call you right back.
What’s happening in three months?
Photo of Kevin Malone

Photo of Pam Beesley
Okay, when you’re selling to women, it is crucial that you listen, Dwight. Also you want to respect their… Are you listening now?
Yes.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Okay, well you have to show us.
That’s impossible. Listening happens in the ear and in the brain. I mean, some organisms have external hairs that vibrate to indicate auditory stimulation but unfortunately, our external hairs don’t vibrate at all.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Huh. nodding Uh huh.
What are you doing?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
A little smile and a nod shows that I hear you. Got it?
Kind of.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Nellie, why don’t you tell Dwight what we were doing earlier today. And Dwight, you show us that you’re listening.
Well, we were in the warehouse, where we were discussing a mural that I’ve commissioned Pam to paint there. We were talking color schemes and the major themes we want to hit. Children of the world, coming together, cutting down trees to make paper. But not in a child labor-y way.
Photo of Nellie
Photo of Erin
It’s just up and down, just a regular nod, like a person.
I am a person.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Erin
Yes.
And then we thought we’d … I can’t. I just can’t carry on with that face. Look at it. I’m gonna get nightmares with that face. I mean he looks like he’s laboring over a stool having just eaten human flesh.
Photo of Nellie
Photo of Dwight Schrute
That’s a bit extreme.
No, I’m sorry but that is true.
Photo of Nellie
Photo of Meredith Palmer
He’s screwed. They’re meeting in less than an hour.
Oh, all right. God, Dwight, just ignore every instinct you have. It’s all garbage okay? You’re the woman, I’m the salesman, watch what I do and try to learn.
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay, I’m a woman. high voice I’m a woman. Good?
Ms. Thomas, so good to see you.
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Hello.
Oh, are those your kids? They’re so cute! They could be models.
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Thank you. I’m so proud of them. I carried each one of them for nine months inside of my torso and then pushed them out of my vagina.
Booo! Weird.
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Photo of Nellie
No.
Okay, yeah. This is a lost cause. It’s hopeless.
Photo of Phyllis

Photo of Pam Beesley
Ten years ago, I didn’t care if Dwight got married or died a beet-farming bachelor. But having kids makes you so soft. I used to watch Pulp Fiction and laugh, and now I’m like, that poor gimp is somebody’s child.

You know, I think there could be a lot of benefits if you could learn to get along with women.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Look, I have no problem with women. It’s businesswomen and their, their power suits and their shoulder pads. Don’t lie about your shoulders!
Dwight, listen to me. Businesswomen are just normal, nice, reasonable people. Who is a nice, reasonable person in your experience?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Dwight Schrute
I had a barber once who used to comb my hair gently.
Okay, so, when you’re selling to this woman, just imagine that she’s that nice, reasonable barber.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay, I can do that.
Mm-hmm. Good. Baby steps.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Dwight Schrute
He used to fight dogs.
Like, he used to make dogs fight? Or he actually fought dogs?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Little of this, little of that.

Which one is the instructor? There all fatties.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Angela! whispering Angela. There.
Where?
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
whispering On the stairs. Stay calm. Stay down. Oh, so wait. Blake is a her.
Oh my God! She’s so stunningly tiny! She’s like a petite double zero, for sure. For sure! Holy cow! Look at what they’re doing.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
She’s repositioning his hips for downward facing dog.
gasps I’ve heard of this – dog style. Oh wait. Oh look Oscar, Thumbelina has a boyfriend! And he has a ponytail – ew. I’d like to see that run for office. Oscar, you were right. I had nothing to be worried about. Thank you. Let’s go.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa…
Ow.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Shut up, hold on. Shh. Hold on. Sorry. Look.

sound effect of throwing ball
Photo of Pete
Photo of Toby Flenderson
This is fun. You know? I mean, this is fun.

What I was saying is the genius of Air Jordan was not in the market saturation, it was in —
Photo of Jim Halpert
Business partner
on phone It was in what? Jim, we’re having a lot of trouble hearing you.
The… the… the… what I was saying is the real genius was…car alarm blaring was in the…
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Hank
Hey! Are those skateboarders back?
on phone Jim? Jim, are you there?
Business partner
Photo of Hank
Where are they?
It was, uh in the authentic design, right? So I mean, you really felt like Michael Jordan was wearing these shoes, so …
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Who was messing with my van?
Nobody!
Photo of Jim Halpert
Business partner
on phone Jordan wore them for nobody? We’re not following you, Halpert.
No, no, no.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Hank
This ends now!

Have a seat. Um, she will be right in.
Secretary
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh, great. Oh, I’m sorry. Do you mind telling me her name? I realized we don’t have it.
Uh… um she’ll be right in.
Secretary
Photo of Pam Beesley
Okay, great.
to himself Just a little off the top and then a nice combing. Yeah, just comb it.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh my God. It’s Jan.
Oh, dear God in heaven.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Pam Beesley
Jan used to be one of my superiors, and she is one of the most erratic and terrifying people I have ever met.

You son of a bitch. You’re firing me? Where the hell do you get off?
Photo of Jan

Photo of Pam Beesley
Jim and I are pretty sure she had an affair with her ex-assistant Hunter. He was 17. But she looks great. If she asks, will you tell her I said that?

Forget everything we taught you. Hey, Jan! It’s so great to see you.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jan
Where’s Wallace?
What?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jan
I was under the impression that David Wallace would be coming. He bought back Dunder Mifflin, correct?
Hey. Your daughter could be a bubble bath model. I could just bite her head off. laughs
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Sorry. Um, David is in Vermont. Did you speak with him? He sent Dwight instead.
Molly! David Wallace is in Vermont.
Photo of Jan
Molly
Oh, my God. Um, I talked to his assistant. And I guess it did get a little confusing ‘cause you said not to tell anyone your name. And then also, those bluetooths are very hard to hear with. I know you love the way they look, but Tom never had us use them…
Molly. I am not Tom. I am Jan.
Photo of Jan
Molly
I’m so sorry Jan.
I thought it would be fun to have a little chat with uh, David Wallace after all these years. Oh, well. What are you doing?
Photo of Jan
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Listening.
Stop.
Photo of Jan
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Sorry.
Stop that.
Photo of Jan
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay.
So this was all just a trick. You don’t really have any business to give?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jan
No, I do.
But not to us.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jan
Insightful, Pam.
You did good, Dwight. It’s okay. I mean, seriously, Jan’s not normal. Let’s just go. She’s not going to sell to us.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Yes, she is. Now, I may not have any instincts with women, but I have an instinct for sales. You keep her occupied. I’ll be right back.
What?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jan
Pam?
Yeah.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jan
I’m a very busy woman, so…
Yeah. Um, do you have any other pictures of Astrid?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jan
Fine. I will show you one… slide show.

Erin, did this call…
Photo of Pete
Photo of Erin
Uh!
What?
Photo of Pete
Photo of Erin
Sorry, I uh, just saw your face.
Oh, I’m sorry. It’s for the thing.
Photo of Pete
Photo of Erin
I know. That’s great. It just – it makes it look like there’s an eyebrow in the middle of your face.
Wow.
Photo of Pete
Photo of Erin
A handsome eyebrow, but, um… it makes your mouth look like an eye socket… which isn’t bad.
Uh-huh.
Photo of Pete
Photo of Erin
But um, you look like a cyclops whose eye… fell out… Which is great. It’s such a great cause.
Yeah.
Photo of Pete
Photo of Erin
chuckles

Mommy, you’re a princess. Mommy, you’re a superstar. Mommy you’re the greatest. How can I ever fill your sho-o-o-es?
Photo of Jan
Photo of Pam Beesley
Wow. Your voice is as lovely as ever.
Aw.
Photo of Jan
Photo of Pam Beesley
And it is so cute how she signs her name.
chuckles Well, that — that was — that was me too.
Photo of Jan
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh, okay. It’s just that’s how Cece does it with the backwards ‘E’s.
Cece can’t spell her name.
Photo of Jan
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh, actually she can.
Well, it’s not really much of a comparison, is it? I mean, "Cece" is two letters and "Astrid" is… I mean, there’s even some adults who — who — who can’t spell it.
Photo of Jan
Photo of Pam Beesley
Of course.
Can you spell it? Try to spell it, Pam.
Photo of Jan
Photo of Pam Beesley
Um… "A"… "X"? I don’t — you got me.
Don’t patronize me.
Photo of Jan
Photo of Pam Beesley
whispering I’m so sorry. I hate this. You’re better.

whispering Okay, we should go now. Let’s go.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
stammering wildly Just wait. Just a minute. Just watch. scoffs
Wait. Why are you… Oh. are you getting your jollies right now? Can’t get enough of the show? Your jollies are all on fire —
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
whispering Please. It’s Robert who’s enjoying it.
What?
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
This could be the affair that you’re scared of. Politicians are wonderful liars. You never know who they really are. pause But uh, he’s probably not gay. He’s straight. He’s straight, so…

Mm. Excuse me. Could I get some more water?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jan
No.
Jan… You thought I had no more cards left to play. Well I’ve got one. Man-boy! The Ace of Babes.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh, my God.
Where’s the Quizno’s?
Photo of Clark
Photo of Dwight Schrute
You’re the Quizno’s. chuckles Jan, may I introduce to you your own personal Dunder Mifflin liaison, devoted to servicing this account with total client satisfaction. I sensed that Molly wasn’t quite meeting your needs — nothing like, uh, your old assistant… Hunter. Was that his name?
I — I —
Photo of Jan
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Hmm?
I don’t recall. And yes, Molly is crap.
Photo of Jan
Photo of Pam Beesley
Okay, you do not have to do this.
Do what? Get into sales? That’s what I want.
Photo of Clark
Photo of Dwight Schrute
He’s been growing that mustache for weeks. Best he can do… So young.
Will you uh, clicks tongue you. Can you turn around for me, please? Dwight you can go. I will call you in a week or so and let you know whether I want your business.
Photo of Jan
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Very good.
to Clark Do you have a valid passport?
Photo of Jan

Photo of Jim Halpert
Jim Halpert.
on phone Hey, it’s Colin.
Colin
Photo of Jim Halpert
Hey man. I am so sorry about that.
I know. Don’t worry about it.
Colin
Photo of Jim Halpert
laughs
It’s just… it’s not totally working.
Colin
Photo of Jim Halpert
Yeah. No, I know. This whole telecommuting thing — not ideal. But don’t worry. I’ll figure it out.
Yeah, well, it’s not just not ideal. I mean, with you there, I don’t know how we’re gonna do this.
Colin
Photo of Jim Halpert
Uh, what does — what does that mean?

Oscar, what is happening here? Why would you say you think the senator might be gay?
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
I don’t know, Angela. I’m dehydrated. Maybe… You heard me wrong. We should just go.
Look, look, look. Here he comes. Here he comes. What is he doing?
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
He’s making a phone call.
ducking under table with Oscar Oh. Oh.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
phone vibrates, rings

Oh, hey, Molly. You should just quit.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Molly
Thanks. Okay.
Oh and uh, Molly… I know it can’t be easy working for Jan. Good luck with your feelings.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Dwight, that was really nice. You should ask for her number.
Oh, I got her number. 415-YCL.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
That’s a license number?
That’s all you need. And when I have curried favor with her, I will let you know.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh. Why me?
Because you are my friend and you are a woman… And women love gossip. It’s like air to you people. Ugh, God. retching
Photo of Dwight Schrute

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