Broke - The Office (Season 5, Episode 25)

Michael has bought a used van to do paper deliveries in. It has Korean writing on it which translates to "Hallelujah Church of Scranton." Early morning delivers in addition to their regular duties at the Michael Scott Paper Company is taking a toll on the employees. So much so, that they decide to look into hiring a delivery person but their accountant tells them that their low prices and fixed-cost pricing model prevent them from doing so. In addition, they'll be bankrupt in another month.

At Dunder Mifflin, Charles Miner announces that Michael Scott Paper Company has taken ten major clients from them. Once their most profitable office, the Scranton branch gets a visit from David Wallace to see what can be done to stem the losses. Charles can be seen sucking up to David and Jim notices. David calls a meeting with Charles and Jim, but Charles insists Dwight also be present because he had been Charles's right-hand man. During the meeting, though, Dwight embarrasses Charles with crazy suggestions on what to do.

David decides the cheapest option is for Dunder Mifflin to buy out the Michael Scott Paper Company. Jim is aware of the company's financial situation (from Pam) but doesn't reveal his secret during the talks about a buyout. At David and Charles's orders, Jim brings the idea of a buyout to Michael, reassuring Michael that Dunder Mifflin is unaware of his company's financial situation. Dwight learns from a past client that Michael has been begging customers for more money and informs Charles, but Jim manipulates their conversation so that Charles refuses to listen, having been embarrassed by Dwight's earlier ideas.

Michael, Pam and Ryan come in to discuss the terms of the buyout. Initially offered $12,000 to buy the company, Michael balks. David suggests that he is bluffing, saying he knows that his company's prices are too low to be sustainable. Michael keeps his cool and says that Dunder Mifflin's best branch is "bleeding" and David could be replaced during an upcoming major stockholder meeting as a result. David gives a second offer of $60,000, which is strongly considered, but Michael rejects this offer at the last second and demands the company give him his old job back and hire Ryan and Pam as salespeople. David is reluctant to hire three people with full benefits, especially given Ryan's disastrous history with the company, and likens it to "a multimillion-dollar buyout". Michael refuses to back down, and David reluctantly agrees to his demands.

Best Funny Quotes From The Office - Broke

Photo of Michael Scott
It’s 4:30 in the morning. Do you know where your kids are? If you are Ryan’s parents or Pam’s parents or my parents, you do. They’re gonna be in this van. With me. Who am I? Nothing to fear. I am just a 44 year old guy with a paper route.

honking horn Time to make the donuts. laughs and drives away as Ryan tries to get in the van Come on. Whoa! No, I promise I won’t do it again. Come on. does it again De-nied!
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Ryan
We’ve been making 5:00 AM deliveries for a couple weeks now. Ever since I’ve gotten clean there’s something about fresh morning air that… just really makes me sick.

Hello! Time to make the donuts! Oh, Halpert! Whoa! Boner patrol. Arrest that man! Your donuts make me go nuts! laughs Hey Pam.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Pam Beesley
We got the van at a used car lot. We think it says “Alleluia Church of Scranton.” in Korean. It was either this or an old school bus with an owl living in it.

You didn’t happen to bring any coffee, did you, Michael?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Milk and sugar.
Oh, awesome. You’re a life saver. drinks from coffee cup Wait, is this just milk and sugar?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
That’s what I said.
Do you drink this every day?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Every morning.

We’re, uh, we’re doing okay. A couple weeks in and, um, we’re having fun. Uh, yep. We have 20– of those.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
an Asian lady tries to enter the van Oh, oh, excuse me! Sorry. Sorry, no. It’s, uh, it’s a paper company now. It’s not for the church.

Okay, who covers Bans Pet Grooming?
Photo of Charles
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh, they’re my client.
No, they were your client. They just called and told us they’re switching over to Michael Scott Paper Company.
Photo of Charles
Photo of Dwight Schrute
sighs Shame, Jim. I expected more.
In the last month we have lost ten major clients to Michael Scott.
Photo of Charles
Photo of Stanley Hudson
What are we supposed to do? They keep undercutting us on price.
I don’t want to hear excuses. I want to see improvements. This is unacceptable.
Photo of Charles
Photo of Andy Bernard
Hey, Boss. Uh, I’d just like to point out that I have been here less time than these guys.
Why are you telling me this?
Photo of Charles
Photo of Andy Bernard
I just think the bar should be lower for a newbie.
Is this something you really want to have said?
Photo of Charles
Photo of Andy Bernard
I don’t want to have said that. But I think it’s important that you know it.

I don’t know what to do to inspire these people. Okay, maybe it’s my fault-
Photo of Charles
Photo of Dwight Schrute
It’s not your fault. Some people just don’t want to be inspired.
I wrote a memo to all departments asking them to find ways to save money but, uh–
Photo of Charles
Photo of Angela Martin
Charles, I got your memo. Thank you. I want you to know I’m putting my foot down when it comes to expense reports. Waste not, want not.
Uh, well said, Angela.
Photo of Charles
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Been there, done that.

You know what we need? We need some couches in here.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Ryan
Michael, we should really consider getting a delivery guy.
Oh, you know what you would love? Is if we built a loft.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Why would I love that? Can we afford a delivery guy?
Like in a dorm room. You put your desk underneath, you have your loft up top. You can sleep up top.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Yeah, I know what a loft is.
Most dorm rooms don’t even have that.
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Michael Scott
Most do in the magazines.
Let’s see what a delivery guy costs.
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Michael Scott
We should look into that. Or we just go for the loft.

Would you let Charles know that David is here, please? Jim, hey.
Photo of David Wallace
Photo of Jim Halpert
Hey, David.
David Wallace! Hello, we’ve been expecting you, David Wallace. Charles and I were waiting for you.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Charles
There he is. There he is. How was the trip up?
A lot better than a month at the Scranton Radisson, I’m sure.
Photo of David
Photo of Charles
Oh, you know it hasn’t been that bad. Hasn’t been that bad. These people are the salt of the earth down here. You couldn’t ask for a better way to learn a company.
Hmmm.
Photo of David
Photo of Charles
I feel like I should be thanking you.
Uh.
Photo of David

Photo of Jim Halpert
makes kissing, puckering sound

The conference room is ready if we want to get started.
Photo of Charles
Photo of David
You know, I just want to address everyone first.
Oh yeah, take your time. Stanley, pay attention.
Photo of Charles
Photo of David
Hi, everyone.
Hi.
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of David
Hi. Uh, look it’s no secret–
Hi.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of David
Hello. Uh, it is no secret that Michael Scott Paper has siphoned off a large chunk of our core business. And I’m here– I just want to assure everyone that we think this is just a temporary setback.
Right.
Photo of Charles
Photo of David
Okay?
Maybe, and I don’t know, if you had just returned Michael’s call none of us would’ve lost clients.
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of David
I’ve been wondering that myself lately. We’re just gonna get started, we’re gonna figure this out. Rest assured. Jim, can you come in with us please?
Uh, Jim hold on. whispers You know, David, uh, Dwight’s been my guy. Okay?
Photo of Charles
Photo of David
Hmm.
Yeah, Jim–
Photo of Charles
Photo of David
I find that extraordinarily surprising.
He shows promise and Jim, I don’t know– I– he’s been a disappointment.
Photo of Charles
Photo of David
We’ll bring them both in.
Okay, great. Uh, Dwight come on in. Also, Jim.
Photo of Charles
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Come along, afterthought.

How much can we afford to pay a delivery guy?
Photo of Michael Scott
Financial Guy
Well, if these numbers you gave me are correct–
They are correct, sir.
Photo of Michael Scott
Financial Guy
Then you can’t afford to pay him anything.
Okay. A lame attempt at humor. Swing and a miss.
Photo of Michael Scott
Financial Guy
Your prices are too low.
Lowest in town.
Photo of Michael Scott
Financial Guy
Why do you think Staples and Dunder Mifflin can’t match your prices?
Corporate greed?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Ryan
Look, our price model is fine. I reviewed the numbers myself. Over time with enough volume, we become profitable.
Yeah, with a fixed cost pricing model that’s correct.
Financial Guy
Photo of Ryan
Yeah.
But you need to use a variable cost pricing model.
Financial Guy
Photo of Michael Scott
Okay, sure. Right, so– why don’t you explain what that is to– so that they can under– just explain what that is.
Explain what you think that is.
Photo of Ryan
Financial Guy
Okay.
Explain that.
Photo of Michael Scott
Financial Guy
As you sell more paper and your company grows, so will your costs. For example, delivery man, health care…
Well, we don’t–
Photo of Michael Scott
Financial Guy
…business expansion–
Whatever, yeah.
Photo of Michael Scott
Financial Guy
At these prices, the more paper you sell, the less money you’ll make.
Our prices are the only thing keeping us in business.
Photo of Michael Scott
Financial Guy
They’re actually putting you out of business.
Okay, okay. Hold on, hold on. Ty, I would like you to crunch those numbers again.
Photo of Michael Scott
Ty
It’s a program. There’s no such thing–
Just crunch ’em. Just crunch ’em please.
Photo of Michael Scott
Ty
presses key on computer Crunch.
Did it help?
Photo of Pam Beesley

Photo of Michael Scott
Hi, Jerry. Michael Scott. Well, this is slightly embarrassing. laughs Um, I’m going to have to… ask you to pay me a little bit more money for that delivery we dropped off yesterday. Yeah. We did. We got the check, but we’re just going to need a much, much bigger check.

When a child gets behind the wheel of a car and runs into a tree, You don’t blame the child. He didn’t know any better. You blame the 30-year-old woman who got in the passenger seat and said, “Drive, kid. I trust you.”
Photo of Pam Beesley

Photo of Jim Halpert
Now, would corporate approve a temporary price reduction for returning customers?
God, no.
Photo of Charles
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Stupid. Yeah, makes us look weak.
I agree.
Photo of Charles
Photo of Dwight Schrute
I say we fill Michael’s office with bees. My apiarist owes me a favor.
Really? Does he do good work or–
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
scoffs No, Jim. I use a bad apiarist. sighs
Fellas, why don’t we take a five-minute break and then we will come back, start fresh, sort this out.
Photo of David
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Five minutes exactly.
Okay. Hey, Dwight. Can I talk to you?
Photo of Charles
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Sure thing.
Yeah.
Photo of Charles
Photo of Jim Halpert
opens phone Hey. I saw you called.

You’re just out of business?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
We have maybe a month. I don’t know what I’m gonna do.
Oh, yeah, well don’t worry about it. We’ll figure it out. We’ll be okay.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
That’s what Michael said.
Oh, yeah. Only this time we will be okay. cell phone rings; Dwight’s voice saying “Idiot, Idiot, Idiot” Oh, that’s my new “Dwight” ring.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
I like it.
Good, right? Hello.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
over phone Idiot, we’re starting back up. This is Dwight, by the way.
Oh, okay. kisses Pam Don’t worry about it.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Michael Scott
Did I ever tell you about the day that Steve Martin died?
Steve Martin’s not dead, Michael.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
I know. But I always thought that the day that he died would be the worst day of my life. I was wrong. It’s this.
You want to hear something sad?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
I would love that.
So Jim and I are getting married and the wedding’s really expensive. So I tried to get a job on the weekends to earn extra money. I applied to Old Navy, Target and Wal-mart. None of ’em called me back. Not even for an interview.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Ryan
I never went to Thailand.
Really?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Ryan
I went to Fort Lauderdale.
Was it nice?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Ryan
Yeah, it was amazing. There was a great Pad Thai place, though.
I love Pad Thai.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Ryan
You’ve never had Pad Thai.
No. There’s a lot I haven’t done.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Jim Halpert
Now, this is the projection over three months?
We still have the inventory sitting– everyone starts chattering at once
Photo of Charles
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Let me float something out there, okay? Can I just say– can I say something?
Yeah, yeah.
Photo of David
Photo of Dwight Schrute
There is a hive of bees outside the front door. We kidnap the queen, extract her alarm pheromones, place them on a flushable wipe, put that in his bathroom.
I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but the cheapest option… is to make Michael an offer.
Photo of David
Photo of Charles
Yes. Yes, I was gonna say the same thing. We should buy him out.
Oh, but you didn’t.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Oh, Man! If only Michael had children. That’s how you really apply the pressure.
What is wrong with you?
Photo of Charles
Photo of David
Jim, you’re– you’re pretty close with him. You think they’d be up for hearing an offer?
Oh, I don’t know. You know, they’ve taken a good deal of clients, so–
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of David
Yeah.
I mean I guess– I guess I could go down there and try to nudge them in the right direction.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
You know what? Why don’t I do it, okay? Michael adores me. I’m the man for this job. Charles, you got my back on this?
No, Jim… I think you should go.
Photo of Charles
Photo of Jim Halpert
Okay, so I’ll be back in, um– back in a bit.

knocking on door Hmm?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Hey, can I talk to you guys for a second?
We’re not hiring, Jim.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Actually here for something else.
Listen, I can’t make you laugh right now.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
You know I love a good guessing game, but why don’t I just tell you what I’m here for? Turns out you guys have made a pretty big dent in the Dunder Mifflin sales.
Oh, that’s nice.
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Jim Halpert
David Wallace has asked me to come down here and see if you would be interested in Dunder Mifflin buying you out.
Seriously? Are you being serious?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Ryan
He’s bluffing, Pam.
Jim, what you don’t understand is that this company’s worthl–
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh!
No– We don’t have–
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh! See I’m here to learn as little information as possible. All I really need to hear is if your incredibly successful company would be receptive to a buyout.
stammers Uh… Yes.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Yes.
Maybe.
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Jim Halpert
Three yeses. I will see you titans of industry upstairs.
Yes, well, we’re not only tight-ends, we are also quarterbacks.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Missed the last part.
That’s a pun.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Got it.
Yep. Oh… wow.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Ryan
Okay, so you are not going to reveal in any way that we’re broke.
Of course not.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Ryan
That we’re having any problem at all.
Nope, nope, nope.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Just to reiterate, none of us is going to say anything that might indicate that we are going broke.
Right, right. There is no way in hell that I am going to say that we’re broke.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Michael Scott
Oh, I’m really worried that I’m going to say it.
No, Michael.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Ah…
No, man. You’re– you’re fine.
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Pam Beesley
We have to come from a position of strength.
I’m good, I’m good.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Ryan
Just put it out of your mind.
It is. I’m good.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Michael Scott
Hello.
Hi.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Michael Scott
Michael Scott Paper Company to see Mr. David Wallace. I believe we’re expected. David and Charles walk out of conference room Well, well, well. How the turntables…

Michael, in order to expedite these negotiations, we are prepared to make you a very generous offer.
Photo of David
Photo of Michael Scott
And we are prepared to reject that offer.
Michael, you haven’t even heard–
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Michael Scott
Never accept their first offer. What is your second offer?
$12,000.
Photo of David
Photo of Michael Scott
Are you kidding me? That is insultingly low. I don’t even want to hear what your first offer was.

What do you hear?
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
mumbles

Here’s the situation. Your company is four weeks old. I know this business. I know what suppliers are charging. I know you can’t be making very much money. I don’t know how your prices are so low, but I know it can’t keep up that way. I’m sure you’re scared. Probably in debt. This is the best offer you’re gonna get.
Photo of David
Photo of Michael Scott
I’ll see your situation and I’ll raise you a situation. Your company is losing clients left and right. You have a stockholder meeting coming up and you’re going to have to explain to them why your most profitable branch is bleeding. So they may be looking for a little change in the CFO. So I don’t think I need to wait out Dunder Mifflin. I think I just have to wait out you.
Okay, now I don’t know that I can get this. I do have to go to the board for approval. How’s about $60,000. Hmm? $60,0000. Michael?
Photo of David
Photo of Michael Scott
stutters We’ll have to talk–
What?
Photo of Charles
Photo of Ryan
We’ll have to talk about this.
Mm-hmm.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Just amongst ourselves.
Okay, yes. Please take the room. Be right outside. Take your time.
Photo of David
Photo of Michael Scott
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
$60,000.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
We are so rich.
Are you kidding me?
Photo of Pam Beesley

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Well, Jerry, the one who got away. May I ask why you’re leaving the Michael Scott Paper Company? Really? Please hold. gets up and runs to kitchen Charles.
Dwight.
Photo of Charles
Photo of Dwight Schrute
May I have your attention? The Michael Scott Paper Company is broke.
What? How’d you hear that?
Photo of Charles
Photo of Dwight Schrute
They’ve been calling all of their clients and begging them to pay more money. That can only mean one thing. They’re desperate. Which can only mean one thing. They’re total failures.
Great work Dwight.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Quiet you.
No, I mean, great detective work. ‘Cause this must be the first case you’ve ever cracked, right?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
You don’t crack a case. That has pejorative connotation. That’s like calling a policeman a cop. You solve a case, and yes, I’ve solved plenty.
So how long can they stay viable?
Photo of Charles
Photo of Jim Halpert
What are your top five cases?
I’m gonna answer Charles first.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Because you’ve solved zero cases.
Okay, one. Case of the beet bandit. Missing beets from all over the farm. No footprints. Inside job. Mose in socks. Boom, case closed.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Charles
Okay, do not go anywhere near the conference room.
Done.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Charles
Because you have embarrassed me for the last time today. Got it?
I’m not– I’m not following you.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Charles
You two are morons.
Got it.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Wh–
Get out.
Photo of Charles

Photo of David
So you’ve thought it over, yes, and you accept our offer. We can finally put this whole thing behind us? Hmm?
No.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Can you give us another minute please?
Yeah.
Photo of David
Photo of Charles
Oh, okay.
Michael.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Ryan
How could you do this to me, Michael? You just cost me $60,000.
Why are you assuming you’d get the whole thing?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
It’s a lot of money, okay. But we need money coming in every week. We need jobs. Wouldn’t you rather have a fishing pole than a fish?
I would rather have $60,000, honestly.
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Pam Beesley
No, Michael’s right. Jobs are safer.
Agreed?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Agreed. But that’s all, okay.
Yeah, discuss these things–
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Michael Scott
Shut up, shut up. Hello?

I want my old job back. I want my old parking space back. I want a Sebring.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Charles
They don’t make them anymore.
And I want Charles gone.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of David
I am not firing Charles. He is very valuable.
That’s very kind of you to say, David.
Photo of Charles
Photo of Michael Scott
I need him gone.
No.
Photo of David
Photo of Michael Scott
Okay, then I want Pam back.
Uh, you already have a new receptionist–
Photo of David
Photo of Michael Scott
Sales.
Thank you.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of David
Pam’s not a salesperson.
Yes, she is. At the Michael Scott Paper Company in it’s heyday.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
That’s right.
Okay. Please continue.
Photo of David
Photo of Michael Scott
And Ryan.
Ryan cost Dunder Mifflin hundreds of thousands of dollars, Michael. Ryan is–
Photo of David
Photo of Michael Scott
You know, David. I don’t care if Ryan murdered his entire family he is like a son to me.
Do you realize what you’re asking for here? You’re talking about salary plus health benefits–
Photo of David
Photo of Michael Scott
And dental this time.
Insurance, taxes, social security for three people. This is a heck of a lot more than 60 grand. You’re talking about a multi-million dollar buy-out.
Photo of David
Photo of Michael Scott
These are our demands.
Your company cannot be worth that much.
Photo of David
Photo of Michael Scott
Our company is worth nothing. That’s the difference between you and I. Business isn’t about money to me, David. If tomorrow my company goes under, I will just start another paper company. And then another and another and another. I have no shortage of company names.
Michael–
Photo of David
Photo of Michael Scott
That’s one of ’em! Yes. These are our demands. This is what we want. Our balls are in your court.
Okay. Deal. Okay?
Photo of David
Photo of Michael Scott
Can we have the room please?
Yeah. David and Charles leave room, Michael shuts the door and closes the blinds
Photo of David
Photo of Ryan
Yes, yes, yes!
Alright!
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Yes! Can you believe it? That’s what I’m talking about!

There are certain defining moments in a person’s life. The day he is born. The day he grows hair. The day he starts a business. And the day he sells that business back to Dunder Mifflin. What have I learned from all of this? It is far too early to tell. I just know that I am flying high and I don’t even want to think about it. I just want to enjoy it.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Charles
Hey, guys–
No, no. You’re done.
Photo of Michael Scott

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