Paper Airplane - The Office (Season 9, Episode 20)

A paper airplane contest is being hosted at Dunder Mifflin by a new paper supplier. All of the office workers compete against each other for a $2,000 prize. Erin in particular is fiercely competitive, and even as she realizes that she is showing an ugly side of herself to her boyfriend Pete, she cannot hold back from smashing a box of packing peanuts when she loses in the semi-finals. After several intense rounds, it comes down to Dwight and Angela. Dwight, who is dating Esther, tries to throw the contest. Angela is flattered by the gesture. However, when Esther expresses her condolences to Angela about her financial situation since her husband separated from her, she realizes that Dwight is letting her win out of pity, not love. Angered, she rebuffs Dwight's pity and lets him win the contest.

Andy prepares for an acting job in a laboratory safety video that was arranged by his talent agent, Carla Fern. The directors continuously have to talk him out of overacting, and he backs down from shooting a scene using an eye wash, since he has an aversion towards anything being shot into his eye. However, Carla threatens to have him blacklisted if he does not go through with the scene. Darryl Philbin (Craig Robinson), who came along as friendly support, gives Andy the confidence to shoot the scene, and in the end Andy even insists on doing two takes, impressing Carla.

In couples' counseling, Jim and Pam have been told to express appreciation for the things their spouse does for them, be frank about things that make them unhappy, and refer to anything they do not want to do but must as “an opportunity”. Their exercising of these three habits is stiff and formal to begin with, and becomes increasingly snarky as the day goes on. Despite this, as Jim leaves the office to return to his business, he confesses to Pam that he thinks the three habits are helping and that they should keep them up. After he leaves, Pam runs after him to give him an umbrella. Jim takes the umbrella, and then embraces his wife, who finds that she lacks the emotional conviction to hug him back. It then flashbacks to their wedding with their co-workers present, she remembers that by marrying Jim she promised to love him in spite of any hardships, and she lovingly embraces him and kisses him.

Best Funny Quotes From The Office - Paper Airplane

Oh. Hey, champions.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Good morning.
Quater finals in an hour. Hope you got some sleep cause I am going to be haunting your nightmares tonight.
Photo of Clark
Photo of Erin
I did. I got some really good sleep.
Did you? pushes pencil cup at Erin
Photo of Clark
Photo of Erin
grabs pencils out of cup quickly as cup falls Bzzz.

Yesterday was the first round of a branch wide paper airplane contest. It was being sponsored by Weyer-Hammer Paper in an effort to get us to sell more of their new product Airstream Deluxe A4, the Cadillac of paper. It’s not so easy on the environment, if you know what I mean. whispers Practically made of plastic.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Nellie
We started with sixteen brave aviators. Some use skill cut to Kevin flying paper airplane, others relied on showmanship cut to Dwight throwing airplane at Nate with an apple on his head others seem not to comprehend what a paper airplane is. cut to Creed throwing a melon And of course, there was the odd moment of heartbreak and disaster.

Hey I left my glasses down here somewhere. Crossing through, beep beep. Pam’s plane hit Toby in the eye
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Ow! Ow!
I didn’t see you! You should have yelled "Crossing!"
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Toby Flenderson
crying I’m sorry!
Ok, so is that my spot?
Photo of Pam Beesley

Photo of Nellie
We are now down to an elite eight. Well, seven and Toby.

Reading from script Be careful of that beaker, it contains dangerous acid!
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
It does not say dangerous. And there’s no exclamation point.
Well I’m just trying to bring some life to it.
Photo of Andy Bernard

Photo of Andy Bernard
Last week I got an agent and uh, this week I got a movie. HRPDC chemical handling protocols. It’s gonna be seen by tons of workers in the industrial chemical community. One of whom could have a cousin whose brother’s Brad Pitt. And boom, next thing you know, I’m in Moneyballs Two.

Andy?
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Andy Bernard
Go away, we’re running lines.
You wanted to see the gooey eye.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Andy Bernard
Oh yeah. Alright, get over here. I am so freaked out by things going into eyes. I just- wow. moves to lift Toby’s eye patch Uggggh! I can’t even, I’m so freaked out by that, just go. Go go go go go.
Alright, it’s getting gooier so we’ll just do it later.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Andy Bernard
Yeah, Ok. Closes door Alright. Where were we?
Something full of acid.
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Andy Bernard
And remember: Do not attempt to extinguish a chemical fire with water. You will only exacerbate the flame. The dangerous flame.
claps That was great man. Alright, I’m out of here.
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Andy Bernard
W-w-w-wait. Stop stop stop. Don’t go anywhere. I just need to find more colors. Let’s do it six more times.

Hey. I just wanted to say that you woke up early with the kids and let me sleep and I really appreciate that.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Thank you. I appreciate that you appreciate that.

So, we had couple’s therapy.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
No shame in that. Get it all out in the open.
And we have homework.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Yes, we are supposed to look for every chance to acknowledge and appreciate each other’s sacrifices. Because I need to appreciate what Pam’s been doing to run the house while I’m in Philly.
And we’re also supposed to speak our truths.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Mmhm.
Because if I had spoken my truth sooner about not wanting to move to Philly, then maybe we wouldn’t have had this opportunity for couple’s therapy.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh, we’re supposed to call everything we don’t want to do "opportunities."

Heads up everyone. If you really need something from me today, let’s get it done tomorrow. Carla Fern got me a gig.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Pam Beesley
Hey!
Yeah.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Stanley Hudson
Who’s Carla Fern?
Who is Carla Fern? Well, wow. Uh, she’s my agent and my drill sargent. And one of my best friends. Oh, and Oscar, I already figured it out. If I have to get emotional in the film, I’m just going to think about you getting dumped by the Senator.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Why wouldn’t you use your own life? Erin just dumped you.
Little raw. Not cool Oscar.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Oscar Martinez
But you just!
Not cool.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Nellie
Hey. Day two. Drama in the warehouse skies. This is Robert from Weyer-Hammer Paper, who will be joining us to judge the final rounds.
Who’s pumped for the quarter finals, huh?
Photo of Robert California
Photo of Dwight Schrute
I’m pumped!
Clark’s a dead man.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Robert California
Alright. Sounds like somebody wants to walk away with this. holds up large check for $2,000
Oh my god!
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Group
Whoa.
Nellie you didn’t tell us we could win money.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Nellie
Oh yes I did, I told you all. It was..um, cause that’s an awful lot of money for me to forget.
Not one of us remembers you saying anything about two thousand dollars.
Photo of Stanley Hudson

Photo of Nellie
I forgot. I completely forgot. But at least now that large piece of cardboard that man was carrying around makes sense.

Nellie, this is a competition. Please take it seriously.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Nellie
Oh please. Dwight watches Angela folding paper airplane

Me? Oh, I’m fine. I mean, sure, times are leaner now that I’m separated from the Senator. But my new studio apartment is just fine camera shows small cluttered space with excessive cats and Phillip crying for me.. and Phillip… and Tinky… and Crinklepuss, and Bandit 2, and Pawlick Baggins, and Lady Aragorn and their 10 kittens.
Photo of Angela Martin

Phillip
cries
Come here, come here. Let’s go.
Photo of Angela Martin

Photo of Angela Martin
I had a chance with Dwight, but I didn’t take it. And if I went back now, when I’m broke and he just inherited a farm, I’d be one of those gold-digging tramps you read about that try to bag a farmer.

I offered myself to Angela and she turned me down. If she changes her mind, the next move is hers. I’m with Esther now. She’s younger than Angela, sturdier, more comfortable with the scent of a manured field. Let’s be honest. When it came to manured fields, Angela was at best indifferent.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Clark
Oh, wide wings, interesting.
Hey. Why don’t you back off?looks at Pete…I mean best of luck to you in the competition.
Photo of Erin

Photo of Erin
Growing up in an orphanage, you have to fight other kids. For everything. Snacks, pillows, parents. I’m kinda worried about Pete seeing that side of me. I once ripped greedy Susan’s pigtail right off her head. Just for a handful of Crispix.

Are you in that paper documentary too?
Carla Fern
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Yep.
Do you need an agent?
Carla Fern
Photo of Andy Bernard
No. He’s- I mean, you’ve never acted in anything before. He’s just my entourage.
I was in The Whiz in high school.
Photo of Darryl Phylbin

Photo of Andy Bernard
That’s the cleaky clacker! He clicks that and then the guy says "action."
Hey, I made them get you a chair. All my clients sit.
Carla Fern

Woman
Can I take your picture?
I guess it’s starting. Um, yeah. Of course. Yeah sure. Tell you what. I’ll put my arm around you and then I can take it-
Photo of Andy Bernard
Woman
We just need a picture of the top of your head in case we burn some of your hair off.
Got it. lowers head to show hair, but keeps looking up just as she tries to take the picture
Photo of Andy Bernard
Woman
No, if you could just keep it down until..
Sorry.
Photo of Andy Bernard

Photo of Nellie
OK, next up we have two creatures great and small. Kevin versus Angela.
Yes!
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Hey, that is a really nice plane. You make that yourself?
Uh huh.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Well, what am I thinking? Of course you made that yourself. Cause it’s in the rules that you have to fold your own plane.
Of course.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Nellie
Kevin, did you make that yourself?
Yes. In a way. From one that I bought on Craigslist.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Nellie
Oh man.
I call for a refold!
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Kevin Malone
No.
Really? to Dwight Thank you.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Kevin Malone
This is flatter.
It’s a piece of paper. You fold it into an airplane.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Nellie
Ok, that’s enough. This is the end of the ring now. You have to pick one.
I can’t. I love them all too much. And, none of them fly. So that makes it harder.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Nellie
You have to choose one now.
Fine. throws plane, doesn’t fly
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Nellie
Angela advances.
Nice.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Dwight Schrute
clapping Whoo!

Was Dwight rooting for me? Hmm. I hadn’t noticed.
Photo of Angela Martin

Photo of Kevin Malone
I’m not giving up. I’m going to keep making planes until one of them flies. Like Wilbur and Orville Redenbacher.

An Earl Grey tea for the lady.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh, thank you. I acknowledge and appreciate that you went out of your way to get me tea.
Thank you. I like being appreciated. But, to speak my truth, it wasn’t out of the way because I felt like a tea anyway. So, one trip.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Well, to speak my truth, I switched to coffee in March. There’s a new espresso machine. But I still acknowledge and appreciate the gesture.

We are rolling and…action!
Director
Photo of Andy Bernard
Happily This video is to demonstrate the HPRDC chemical handling protocols. These protocols could save you from severe injury, even death.
Ok, um, stop. Um, why are you smiling so much?
Producer
Photo of Andy Bernard
Just made a character choice to be a scientist who really likes what he does and enjoys his job.
Ok, well maybe no smiling on this one.
Director
Photo of Andy Bernard
So how do you want, how should I do it?
I don’t know, just like you’re reporting the news or something. Ok?
Director
Photo of Andy Bernard
ridiculous news voice This video is to demonstrate the HPRDC chemical handling protocols.
Ok.
Director
Photo of Andy Bernard
It’s Tom Brokaw, it’s a newscaster.
Who was that?
Director
Photo of Andy Bernard
Tom Brokaw!

Come on Clark!
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Angela Martin
Come on Clark. Clark throws plane, Erin throws plane it goes much farther
Whoa!
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Erin
Yeah! Oh! Eat it piggy! Eat it! Oink oink oink oink!
We’ve still gotta work together, so we should keep it civil.
Photo of Clark
Photo of Erin
Snorts and grunts I can’t hear what you said. snorting, grunting You got your slop? Squeals
You know what, this is completely unnecessary. You already won…
Photo of Clark
Photo of Pete
Erin! Erin! Just stop.
What?
Photo of Erin
Photo of Pete
Relax.

Next up we have Dwight and Phyllis.
Photo of Nellie
Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration
You can do it baby!
No you can’t baby! to Dwight, whispers Good luck.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Watch and learn.
Wow.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Group
Oh!
Dwight defeats Phyllis, Dwight you are through to the semi-finals.
Photo of Nellie
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Yes!
Whoo!
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Oh, Esther.
Hey.
Photo of Esther
Photo of Dwight Schrute
What are you- Esther kisses him You’re here early.
Yeah, I plucked the chickens extra fast cause I knew I was seeing you tonight. There might just be a little feather in your nuggets or a little bit of meat inside of your pillow.
Photo of Esther
Photo of Dwight Schrute
I like a little feather in my nuggets. both laugh
Alright ladies and gentlemen, we are down to the final four. Dwight, Erin, Angela and god only knows how, but Toby. One of you will walk away with two thousand dollars.
Photo of Nellie
Photo of Erin
Yeah!

Ok here you have just knocked over the beaker, the chemicals splashed in your eye.
Director
Photo of Andy Bernard
Which is insanely painful.
Yeah.
Director
Photo of Andy Bernard
And I’ve already picked a few childhood memories to tap in to, to really express that pain.
That’s great. So what you’re gonna do then is come over here to the eye washing station and then just kinda flush out your eyes. You know, get the chemicals out. Alright?
Director
Photo of Andy Bernard
So I just lean over this thing and then you’ll add the water special effect later?
What water special effect?
Director
Producer
Yeah, yeah just hold your lids open with one hand and let the stream bathe your eyeballs.
I’m not comfortable doing my own stunts. I’ll get nude if you want me to, I’ll go full Lena Dunham but I-
Photo of Andy Bernard
Director
Dude, we don’t need you to go nude, OK? So just do the eyewash, Ok? That’s all we’re asking.

Darryl, what do I do?
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Hold up, I’m looking at my spit with a microscope.
They want me to use real water in the eye wash scene.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
So?
I can’t squirt stuff in my eyeball. I’ve never even used an eye dropper.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Production Assistant
So Andy, so you know how to use this. You step on the pedal, water squirts in your eyes.
Carla! Carla!
Photo of Andy Bernard

Photo of Nellie
It is time for a little T & A. I give you: Toby and Angela.
throws plane far Oh my god! Oh my god. Ok it’s your turn. Toby crumples plane and steps aside.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Nellie
Well, Angela is the winner.
Yes!
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Esther
to Dwight Is there a reason that we’re excited for that little woman?
Yes. I pity her. She was recently in a situation where she could have had it all, and instead she lost everything.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Esther
Oh. Is she a gambler?
In a way. But not in a stand up and cheer kind of way, like the song.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Esther
Hmm. That is sad.

grabs Andy by the cheeks Andy! If you don’t stick your eyes in that machine, I’m going to call every production in North Eastern Pennsylvania. You won’t even make an appearance on a security camera! Andy starts to cry
Carla Fern
Producer
What’s the hold up here?
The actor’s crying.
Director
Producer
Oh god.

She yelled at me. I can’t wash my eyeball. I can’t do that. I can’t.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Andy Bernard can’t squirt water in his eye and act like it doesn’t freak him out. But you know who can? Older Male Lab Assistant Number One.
Do you believe in me?
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
I believe I want to go home.

throws plane far Yeah! Ok! Beat that! Erin throws plane, loses, Dwight laughs Whoo! Ok.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Erin
Dammit! Dammit, god. To Pete Sorry. Yeah I’m fine. I’m fine. I got mad. Cause I don’t like losing. I’m just gonna- Sorry I’m mad! I’m mad, I’m really mad. I wanted to win. We were gonna win a lot of money, I was gonna buy you a sweater. It’s stupid. Just the whole contest is stupid. That’s how it feels.
Yeah. Erin kicks box Whoa!
Photo of Pete
Photo of Erin
Sorry I’m mad! I don’t like losing! I thought I was going to win!
Ok tries to help her Hey hey hey, whoa.
Photo of Pete
Photo of Erin
Sorry. Sorry. I’m going to go upstairs and just…

Oh, I made us a date to take my mom out to dinner to thank her for all that extra babysitting.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Well, you know how much I appreciate the opportunity to hang out with your mom more. So let me just put this in my calendar.
I acknowledge with gratitude that you are being kind and responsible enough to include it in your calendar.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Thank you. Your mom is a treasure.
Well, I appreciate that some opportunities can be unpleasant- Jim’s phone rings, he answers
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Hey that’s work, hold on. Hey Wade, did Cole Hamels call back or what? Great. Good.
Uh, to speak my truth, I’d appreciate if you hung that up cause we were in the middle of a conversation. Jim hangs up phone I appreciate the sacrifice.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Ok to speak my truth, that was a little sarcastic. I think that’s a little unfair.
Really? I’ve been putting the kids to bed by myself every night for a months. And you had to miss one phone call. Is that your truth, Jim? That’s really your truth?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
I guess I will swallow my truth.
Are you guys high? Because if so, to speak my truth, I would appreciate the sacrifice of including me in some hits off your kind buds.
Photo of Clark
Photo of Pam Beesley
We’re not high.

I wish we’d started this exercise six months ago. My heart just feels so… blocked up.
Photo of Pam Beesley

Photo of Kevin Malone
The Mark 47 is ready for launch. throws plane but it sticks to his hand Less paste.

Here we go. Rolling and… action!
Director
Photo of Andy Bernard
doing eyewash AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHH!!
And cut. We can fix the sound in post.
Director
Producer
Yeah.
I can do a better one.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Producer
That’s fine, we’ll move on.
I said I can do a better one. Darryl…
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Action!
eyewashes again AHH! AHH! AHH!
Photo of Andy Bernard
Carla Fern
Kid can act!
Yeah! Yeah.
Photo of Andy Bernard

Photo of Nellie
Each contestant will throw two aeroplanes.
After you.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Angela Martin
Thank you. plane loops up and falls at her feet Oh god!
Angela’s first throw, terrible. Dwight.
Photo of Nellie
Photo of Dwight Schrute
fake throws and drops plane Oh! Oh man! It slipped out of my hand, what a whiff. Ah, how’d that happen? God. Angela smiles
We want you to win. Dwight told me about your situation. It’s such a pity. Use the money wisely. Angela looks disgusted
Photo of Esther
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Alright.
Don’t you dare tank this. Dwight throws plane far, Angela fake throws and drops her plane
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Nellie
And we have a winner. And it’s Dwight. And it is everyone because this is over.
Two grand huh? I know a guy who can turn that into eight hundred dollars. And it’s me.
Photo of Creed Bratton
Photo of Angela Martin
To Esther Well, I guess you needed the money more than me huh? Use it wisely.

I was disappointed in Dwight today. He showed a weakness that was unbecoming. Even if he did do it for me. I don’t need pity and I don’t need charity. I have my dignity and that’s enough. And as long as I have that, I’ll be ok.
Photo of Angela Martin

Photo of Jim Halpert
I know this was really weird, and it was really hard. But I think we’re making progress. So I’m really sorry that I have to go but let’s keep at this. Ok?
Ok. intense moment where Jim leaves and Pam seems conflicted. She notices his umbrella and runs out to follow him
Photo of Pam Beesley

Photo of Pam Beesley
Jim! hands him umbrella
Thanks.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Alright, have a good trip.
Bye.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Bye. walks away
Hey! Runs after her and looks into her eyes I… hugs her tightly, Pam doesn’t hug back
Photo of Jim Halpert

Pastor
Flashback to Jim & Pam’s wedding Love suffers long and is kind. It is not proud. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Pam hugs Jim back finally And now these three remain: Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. Pam kisses Jim

I love you.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
I love you.

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