Junior Salesman - The Office (Season 9, Episode 13)

Dunder Mifflin CEO David Wallace has tasked Dwight with finding a part-time replacement for Jim. Pam is concerned about this, as Jim's replacement will be her new "deskmate". Clark feels he is ready for the position, citing his key role in various sales, but Dwight wants someone who he can be sure will not team up with Pam against him. To that end, he brings in a bizarre gallery of his relatives and close friends, including his cousin Mose, best friend Rolf, part-time private investigator Trevor, former Corporate executive Troy Underbridge, and his karate teacher Sensei Ira. To Dwight's horror, though, none of his candidates are competent enough to even make it through the full job interview, much less be paper salesmen. Clark ends his interview after answering Dwight's complicated questions perfectly, pointing out that he has no choice but to hire him if he wants someone who can do the job.

Jim calls Wallace to pitch for the CEO to invest in Athlead. Dwight puts the conversation on speaker phone, allowing him to hear Wallace first tell Jim his salary is going to be cut to reflect his part-time status, and then bluntly shoot down the idea of investing in Athlead. Dwight, though praising his friends' outlandish delinquent behavior to the cameras, gradually comes to realize his professional integrity will not allow him to hire any of them, and sadly notes that he outgrew all of his friends in just three hours. Afraid they will hate him if he does not pick one of them, he asks Jim to pretend to take over the hiring decision and make the call to hire no one. Being willing to do anything to save Pam from being stuck with an unbearable deskmate, Jim agrees.

However, when Jim announces the decision, Rolf immediately intuits that Dwight is using Jim as a scapegoat. Dwight's friends storm off to play paintball without him, later sending an e-mail with a photo of their paintball outing and the message "Glad you're not here" while giving Dwight the finger. Clark gets the salesman job. Pam is grateful to Jim for arranging this but says she still misses her "old deskmate" Jim. Pam briefly lifts Dwight's spirits by suggesting they "haze the new guy", though she makes Dwight stop that plan when he nearly suffocates Clark with shrink wrap. It is also hinted that Brian, the boom mike operator for the documentary crew, has developed a crush on Pam, paired with audio of Jim’s talking head, “Because of where my desk was, I spent all those years looking at Pam, and I fell in love.”

Best Funny Quotes From The Office - Junior Salesman

Hey Brian, you got a sec?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Brian
Yeah, hold on a sec.
I feel awful.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Brian
It’s fine. It was my first slip up in nine years of miking you. phone rings
in background Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Pam Beesley
Well, thanks for being a good friend.
Sure, anytime. Uh, how about you and Jim? Everything squared away?
Photo of Brian
Photo of Pam Beesley
Yeah, mostly.
Pam, phone call.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Pam Beesley
Um, hey, say Hi to Alyssa.
Will do.
Photo of Brian
Photo of Pam Beesley
Okay. Thank you.
Sure.
Photo of Brian
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Hey, boom guy.
Oh, hey Meredith.
Photo of Brian
Photo of Meredith Palmer
When are you gonna boom me?
Uh, listen, they’re cracking down on us talking to the subjects. It’s a lame rule, but, you know, I wanna… I, I’ll see you later.
Photo of Brian
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Got it.

Hey, so I hear you’re bringing in some people to interview for the sales job?
Photo of Clark
Photo of Dwight Schrute
That’s right, a couple of old friends. Ballers only. Must be this cool to ride.
Well, uh… see, you raised it.
Photo of Clark
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Oh, did I? Oh, yes, I did.

Wallace is letting me hire a junior sales associate to sit at Jim’s desk while he’s away in Philly. Finally I’ll have someone at my desk clump who gets me. It’s like, "Really, Jim? You don’t understand the difference between a slaughterhouse and a rendering plant? Uh, remind me not to lend you any dead cows or horses." Wow.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Clark
You know what, man? I deserve this job.
Mm-hmm.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Clark
I scored Stone and Son Suit Warehouse with you, and God knows, to get the Scranton White Pages with Jan, I went above and beyond… and under.
You know what? You’re gonna get your interview, okay? I know that you’re going head-to-head against some real superstars, but you got a really good chance.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Clark has no chance. I mean, he’s up against my buddy Rolf, for God’s sake. Guy goes fishing with hand grenades. And Trevor – he’ll make you laugh so hard, you’ll puke your pants.

This sucks, you know? You put in 12 grueling weeks at a company, and what do they do? They make you compete for a promotion, like an animal. You know, I thought this was an office, not the Thunderdome.
Photo of Clark

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Big changes coming to the old desk clump. No longer a Pam-Jim alliance against Dwight. Now it is Dwight and a friend axis against Pam.
You could’ve just called that an alliance too, right?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
I chose my words very carefully.

Things are a little delicate with me and Pam right now. And if my working in Philly is gonna end up doubling the Dwight in her life, that’s only gonna make things worse.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Clark
sighs You interviewing for the sales job too?
No. You’re interviewing for it. I’m getting it.
Photo of Rolf
Photo of Clark
Well, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I mean, I’ve been working here 12 weeks. That’s a full season of Homeland. A ton of things can happen in that amount of time, as we’ve seen.
I’m Rolf. Rolf Ahl.
Photo of Rolf
Photo of Clark
Rolf Ahl? Sounds kinda like Roald Dahl.
Go to hell.
Photo of Rolf
Photo of Clark
There he is.
Hey. Come on, buddy. Let’s do this. Sorry, Rolf goes first. You don’t compare. When you’re with the R-O-L-F, you’re literally Rolling on the Laughing Floor. laughs
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Rolf
Nice.

Rolf is my best friend, and he is the man. Cool, calm, and collected 24/7. Just try and rattle Rolf. I dare you. Such a sweet guy.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Pam Beesley
When are you talking to David Wallace?
I’m talking to him this afternoon, but don’t get your hopes up.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Too late. My hopes are up.

Last week, my company in Philly lost a big investor, so we’re scrambling to find new funding. Luckily, my partners have a fix – me asking the boss of the company I’m abandoning to give us a gigantic influx of cash. So… problem solved. Thanks, guys.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Dwight Schrute
And this chair’s gonna be yours. And this desk. Ha!
I’m on the phone. I’m on the phone.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
No doy!
I’m just gonna call you back. Thanks.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Rolf
I hope you like Norwegian black metal, because I don’t do earbuds.
laughs No earbuds! both laugh
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
I’m sure he’s just nervous.
sighs It’s fine. It’s just a seating arrangement. Doesn’t matter.
Photo of Pam Beesley

Photo of Dwight Schrute
So I’ve got your resume here, but it’s not telling me everything.
Well, a lot of that information is private. How do I know you’re qualified to evaluate me?
Photo of Rolf
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Well, I’m the one offering the job.
What are your credentials?
Photo of Rolf
Photo of Dwight Schrute
I’ve worked here for 12 years. I won salesman of the year. I’m an Assistant to the Regional Manager.
I think I’ve heard everything I need to hear.
Photo of Rolf
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Wait, wait, wait, no, I mean, if you need to know more, you can call David Wallace. I’m sure he’d give a reference.
Thank you, Dwight. I’ll be in touch.
Photo of Rolf

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Well, they can’t all be winners. But Trevor’s next and he’s a real professional. You say, "Jump," and he says, "Oh who?" He loves to jump on people, that Trevor.

What makes you think you’d be an effective paper salesman?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Trevor
Ooh, okay. Didn’t see that one coming. Can I take a 20 on that? Maybe we can circle back around to it.
Well, it’s a pretty basic question for a potential paper salesman.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Trevor
Pass. Next one.
All right. Do you see yourself as more of a team player or a self-starter?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Trevor
No, no and no.
There were only two options.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Trevor
Checkmate. You win this one, my friend. Do you validate parking?
This is a bus transfer.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Trevor
chuckles Nothing gets by this guy.

Hey Jim, do you mind if I look over these price sheets before my interview?
Photo of Clark
Photo of Jim Halpert
Sure, yeah, go ahead.
Thanks, dude. You—you sure it’s okay? ‘Cause you’re kinda—
Photo of Clark
Photo of Jim Halpert
Yeah, absolutely. Do people like sitting next to you? You’re clean, right?
Oh, Dove Men.
Photo of Clark
Photo of Jim Halpert
Nice. Music. Do you listen to it in earbuds? You don’t listen to it at all because we’re at work, not a Florence and the Machine concert, so—
Yeah, could I just have a minute to prepare for this?
Photo of Clark
Photo of Jim Halpert
Sure, yeah. Do whatever you need to do.
Thanks, dude.
Photo of Clark
Photo of Jim Halpert
Right after you do one thing for me. I need you to breathe in my face.
Why?
Photo of Clark
Photo of Jim Halpert
I need you to breathe in my face right now.
exhales
Photo of Clark
Photo of Jim Halpert
What are we working with, peppermint or wintergreen?
Wintergreen.
Photo of Clark
Photo of Jim Halpert
I knew it, I knew it.
Yeah, good nose.
Photo of Clark
Photo of Jim Halpert
I looked at you coming around, and I said, "Wintergreen."

I can’t hire Clark. Yeah, he looks like a Schrute, but he thinks like a Halpert and he acts like a Beesly.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay, here’s one. A customer who ordered enough paper to qualify for a volume discount now wants to return half the stock. You can’t rebate the sales price or credit for future purchases because you brokered the deal for a third party.
That’s just a classic no-win situation.
Photo of Clark
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Thank you.
So I’d Kobayashi Maru it.
Photo of Clark
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Damn it! Perfect answer, again.
Yep.
Photo of Clark
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Think Dwight, think. You have a ream of 16-bond …
You know what, Dwight?
Photo of Clark
Photo of Dwight Schrute
And anoth—
This interview’s over, and I get the job. I just Kobayashi Maru’d the whole process.
Photo of Clark
Photo of Dwight Schrute
No.
Yeah. Star Trek rules.
Photo of Clark
Photo of Dwight Schrute
It does, but still no.
Come on, man. I mean, did Trevor do that? Did Rolf do that?
Photo of Clark
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Oh, you think they’re my only friends? I’ve got way more friends than that, and they’re all better than the losers who work here.

This is not natural.
Photo of Stanley Hudson

Photo of Oscar Martinez
Just – I don’t wanna make assumptions based on people’s physical appearances.
Well, of course not, but does physical appearance include smell?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
They smell so bad.
If I ever get that bad, you’d tell me, right?
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Photo of Kevin Malone
Meredith, I tell you all the time.
chuckles Walked right into that one.
Photo of Meredith Palmer

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Next up, my cousin Mose. Mose could make a great paper salesman. He’s got a natural fear of paper, which would motivate him to get as much of it out of this office as possible. I’ve got big expectations, Mose-wise.

What quality would make you a good sales associate?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Mose
People person.
It says here on your resume that you spent the last 15 years as a sales rep for Dow Chemical.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Mose
That’s right.
You know we live together, right?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Mose
Yes.
And I’ve never seen you go to work, ever.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Mose
Okay.
So why is this on your resume? door slams
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Clark
So how’d you guys hear about the position?
My—my mom.
Gabor
Photo of Nate
Dwight called my house, but he didn’t realize that I had already moved out, because my mom and I are quarrelling because I- I can’t stay out of her stuff.
Dwight’s my cousin, so I overheard him telling my brother Mose about the job opportunity in the shower.
Photo of Zeke
Photo of Clark
You were in the shower or he was in the shower?
Everyone was in the shower. It’s a cow shower, so there’s like, a ton of people in there.
Photo of Zeke
Photo of Clark
So you guys all know Dwight already?
I was his babysitter, and then we dated for a while. He was a passionate lover and the sweetest little baby.
Melvina
Gabor
I knew you looked familiar. You used to pick up Dwight from school.
You went to X-Men school too? exhales
Melvina
Photo of Clark
X-Men school?

When I was young, I spent several years at a private school where I was told I would be taught to harness my mutant abilities. Turned out it was a conman copying Charles Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters from the X-Men comic books. Took me years to figure out that it was a con. Some people never figured it out.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Gabor
Oh, I have a few powers. Night hearing. Dogs understand where I point. And our training included picking carrots, scrubbing tubs, sewing imitation Levi’s. A lot of telemarketing.

I don’t want to sit near any of those people for the next 20 years. Someone say something.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Stanley Hudson
I said something when they were thinking of hiring Jim. Didn’t work then. And now look what he’s doing to us.
Yeah, Jim, this is all your fault.
Photo of Nellie
Photo of Jim Halpert
How is it my fault?
Here’s an exercise for you, Jim. Imagine there are consequences to your actions. Imagine the whole world does not revolve around this. There are others.
Photo of Nellie
Photo of Jim Halpert
But it’s Dwight who’s bring in all the weirdos.
Yeah, but Jim, Dwight’s a weirdo. We can’t blame a weirdo for bringing in weirdos. We can blame a normal for creating a situation where a weirdo was allowed to bring in weirdos.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Pam Beesley
Hey, I’m the one who has to sit next to this weirdo when Jim’s away. I’m in a position where I’m rooting for Nate, and that just feels wrong. sighs Forget it. I need to work on my mural. I have some pointy trees that I need to round off.

on phone Hey Jim, I thought our call was for later.
Photo of David Wallace
Photo of Jim Halpert
Yeah, this is actually about the new sales guy. Uh, Dwight has brought in a bunch of real weirdos. And I was wondering if I could have some input—
presses speaker button This is Dwight Schrute. Who am I speaking to? And don’t lie. I can tell if you’re lying.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of David Wallace
Hey, Dwight. It’s David.
David.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of David Wallace
Jim says he’d like some say in the hiring process.
Really? That’s interesting. ‘Cause I was thinking that since Jim is only here part time, he might not be as invested in the decision-making process as someone like me who’s here every day. And frankly, killing it lately.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
I was just thinking that because this person is gonna be sitting at my desk, near my wife—
Jim, another thing. Since we are gonna have to hire this junior sales associate to cover for you, I am going to have to pay you only for the days that you actually work.
Photo of David Wallace
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh. Um…
Yeah.
Photo of David Wallace
Photo of Jim Halpert
Okay. I can’t say that that’s not fair.
Sounds fair to me, David.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of David Wallace
And I know we have a call scheduled for later –
Oh, yeah, so we’ll just do that later.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
No. Why not do it now?
Yeah. What’s up Jim?
Photo of David Wallace
Photo of Jim Halpert
Uh… clears throat Well, it’s about Athlead. I’m sorry. Does Dwight have to be on this part of the phone call?
I’d love to be in the loop, David.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of David Wallace
It’s okay. Go ahead, Jim.
There’s a very exciting opportunity to be a core investor –
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of David Wallace
Okay. Jim, I’m gonna have to stop you right there.
Yes, okay. Bye.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
whispers I’d love to invest.
No, thanks.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
I’d like to give you $100 million. snickers phone ringing

Why you make trees into bushes? You don’t make paper from bushes.
Photo of Hide
Photo of Pam Beesley
Hide, they’re giving out jobs upstairs. Why don’t you go up and get one?
Thank you.
Photo of Hide
Photo of Pam Beesley
Yeah.

Whoops.
Troy

Photo of Zeke
patting Darryl’s hair It’s dense. Like bread.

Dwight, you can’t just hire someone ‘cause they’re your friend.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
I’m not. These people are the best of the best. I find talent an attractive quality in a friend.
They’re freaks, Dwight. All your friends are weirdos and freaks.
Photo of Nellie
Photo of Dwight Schrute
You know who else was a freak? Spider-man. And he was also a hero.
Your friends are like Spider-man, if he had gotten bitten by a spider and then got really into masturbating.
Photo of Darryl Phylbin

Wolf
Man, how cool is it gonna be when I start working here? Paintball fights at lunch.
Mandatory paintball. Uh, wolf, please report to the parking lot for mandatory paintball at lunch.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Wolf is hilarious. He has executed me over 100 times at point-blank range. Half of ‘em, we were on the same team. Oh my God. How I screamed. Ah, that goof.

Sell me this piece of paper. Watch this.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Wolf
Do you want this paper?
I sure do.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Wolf
It’s not very good.
I will pay you whatever it takes.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Wolf
I think I wanna keep it now. It must be pretty special if you want it so bad.
No, you have lots of other pieces of paper that are just like it. So here, just take my money.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Wolf
Stop trying to get my paper buddy. Okay read my lips. It’s over.
Okay. Good. That was great. So. Wow. You’re still at the 570 number?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Wolf
I am.
Okay. Good, good, good. sighs
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Hide
I have eight years experience selling electronics in Sanyo store in downtown Tokyo. I was a doctor. And I have a business degree from Tokyo University.
This isn’t gonna work out.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Hide
Thank you. chuckles

Nate is a proven entity, but not without his handicaps; hearing, vision, basic cognition. Trevor is great, but I saw no fire in him today. And this is a guy who loves to start fires. Troy is literally one of a kind. He’s a goblin, or a hobbit, or a kobold, which is a type of gremlin. And yet I’m hesitant. Why can’t I pull the trigger on any of them?
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Dwight Schrute
groaning No, no, no. I just need to tell them. I just need to tell them. knock at door
Do you need to be changed?
Melvina
Photo of Dwight Schrute
I do that myself now.
Mm. Are you going to make a decision soon? I’ve been double-parked for five hours. I’m wondering if I should move my car.
Melvina

Photo of Dwight Schrute
No, you’ve been towed by now. They tow after about 45 minutes.
Well, the joke’s on them. I live right next to the tow yard. All they did was save me some gas.
Melvina
Trevor
Hey man, we get how difficult this is. And no matter how you choose, we’re still gonna be your friend.
Yeah, whether it’s me or Troy Underbridge, or Gabor, or Melvina—
Wolf
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Or none of you chuckles
Yeah, you’d bring us all down here, put us through the wringer and then choose none of us.
Wolf
Trevor
Can you imagine how insulting that would be? The contempt that a person like that would have to have for you.
I wish I could hire all of you.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Zeke
I could start Monday.

Psst. Jim Jim? whispering Jim, turn around. Jim, turn around. Jim, turn around.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Ahh, I love staring off in one direction. If I’m not looking south, I’m not livin’. That’s what I always say.
Just act natural. grunts
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Dwight Schrute
And I was thinking it’s only fair that you help make this decision since they’ll be sitting at your desk next to your wife.
But you know I wouldn’t hire any of these all-stars.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Aah! God, that sucks! Aah! What are you gonna do? I mean, it’s your call.
Nope. Your friends not turning out to be as great as you thought? Not even Gabor?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
I guess I just have higher standards for my work colleagues than for my friends. I just couldn’t picture any of them in the old gold and gray.
I knew it. You designed a uniform for Dunder Mifflin.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Summer. Winter. Jungle. Formal.

Well, I for one, was amazed at how qualified everyone was. You?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Yes. Thank you. Amazed.
And I gotta say, this was a tough decision. And we had to go with none of you.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Sensei Ira
I’m sorry?
What? This is such bullcrap!
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Well, you know, Wallace put me in charge, so you have no say.
Wow. So much crap. It’s just a load of B.C. How could you do this to them?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Too much now.
Okay.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Nate
Do we get our resumes back or do you keep them? Because I only have the one, and I have a chili recipe on the back that I really wanna keep.
Okay, this is an outrage. Ugh! You know what? This is Jim Halpert’s home address, in case you guys wanna toilet paper his house or whatever.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
That seems inconsiderate.
No. We get it. Thanks so much for the opportunity, Dwight. Don’t open any suspicious packages you may receive. No, wait. Do open them. Totally safe.
Photo of Rolf
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Guys, it wasn’t up to me. Rolf, come on. Guys, it wasn’t my choice! I would have hired all of you! Gabor, Gabor.
Well, my day’s shot.
Trevor
Photo of Rolf
Yeah, it’s that weird hour where it’s too late to start a slow roast and too early for a Swanson’s.
I got it. Paintball.
Wolf
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Oh, that sounds awesome. Can we wait till I get off work?
yelling And what are we supposed to do until then?
Trevor
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay.
Let’s just go, you guys.
Wolf
Photo of Rolf
Yeah. No limit on weapons class, right?
All right. I think that went well.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Jim Halpert
So, uh, if you just take a look at this, and then that’ll print out—Hey. Meet your new desk mate.
What’s up good lookin’?
Photo of Clark
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh, cool. Hey Clark.
Trust me, this is the least of all evils. It took me all day to pull this off, so you should be thrilled, considering.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Yeah, I guess. I mean, I kinda liked my old desk mate.
Okay. I’m really sorry I told the guys I’d be there for the board meeting.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Of course.
I’ll call you when I get there.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Okay.
All right.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Bye.
Take care of my wife. I will be back.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Dwight Schrute
They say that everyone outgrows their friends at some point in their lives. Well I just outgrew them all in the span of three hours.

Hey, Pam, I’m going to the kitchen. You want anything?
Photo of Clark
Photo of Pam Beesley
I’m good.
Oh, hey, I’ll take a coffee.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Clark
Oh, I’m sorry. You gotta be this cool for coffee.
scoffs
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Hey, Dwight. Wanna haze the new guy?
Who, me?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Us.
Absolutely, I do. giggles
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Okay. Okay, here. Okay, so the next time he goes to the bathroom, I’ll distract him, you take that.
Okay, yeah, I know what to do. Okay. Oh, that’s great.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
shushes
laughs
Pam & Dwight
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Aah!
No!
Photo of Clark
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Welcome to the club, pig! laughs
No, Dwight!
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Aah!

No, it does matter who ends up sitting next to Pam when I’m gone. The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with. I mean, because of where my desk was, I spent all those years looking at Pam, and I fell in love. So, that stuff matters. Definitely does.
Photo of Jim Halpert

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