Costume Contest - The Office (Season 7, Episode 6)

The office becomes excited over the annual Halloween costume contest, the prize for which is a Scranton-area coupon book. Oscar, frustrated that no one else seems to realize what a meager prize a coupon book really is (as it is worth over $15,000 in savings, however the rest of the office thinks that is the actual worth), changes out of his costume and snarkily states that he is dressed up as "a rational consumer". The significance of this gesture goes over the other workers' heads, and Oscar becomes increasingly embarrassed at being virtually the only person not in costume. Pam persistently begs Jim to wear a matching couples costume of Popeye and Olive Oyl with her, but he refuses as he feels he is too old for costumes. As the day goes on, several people realize their costume might not win, so they leave the office to switch into something more recognizable or provocative.

Gabe informs the staff that delivery drivers can now suggest additional products for the customers they deliver to, increasing sales for the company. Michael realizes this idea is similar to a suggestion made by Darryl, which he had shot down. He now realizes this was a mistake and apologizes to Darryl, and Darryl says he holds no grudge against him. However, Michael feels increasingly uncomfortable at Darryl not receiving credit for his idea, and announces to the entire office that he is going to confront corporate about stealing Darryl's idea. Gabe tells Michael that Darryl actually pitched the idea to him, and has already received credit.

New salesman Danny invites everyone to a Halloween party at his bar after work. Almost everyone in the office is aware that Danny and Pam had a two-date fling four years ago. Kevin and Andy tell Danny that they are not going to his party because Pam does not want them to, which incites Danny to confront Jim and Pam. They reassure him that Pam does not care if people go to his party, and the three laugh about how their coworkers have been exaggerating the significance of his two dates with Pam; however, it also becomes clear that Pam wants to know exactly why she was rejected. When Jim confronts him, Danny says he never called back because Pam talked about Jim during their dates. Pam reveals she never mentioned Jim, and so Danny reluctantly admits that he found her too "dorky." Though Jim is offended, Pam is satisfied at having a reason, and leaves the situation at that. Jim realizes he loves Pam for being so dorky, and comes into the office wearing his Popeye costume and carrying Cece (dressed as Swee'Pea), much to the delight of Pam.

Michael is angered that Darryl went over his head, and tries to get Darryl to apologize in front of everyone for 'backstabbing' him. Darryl refuses, criticizing Michael's poor judgment of his idea. Michael changes his costume to Darryl's warehouse uniform, and mocks him. The two bring their argument to Gabe, where Darryl expresses his opinion that Michael has never done anything for him. After some negotiating by Gabe, Darryl and Michael apologize to each other. Darryl wishes he were still operating down in the warehouse, but Andy inspires Darryl to further his career at Dunder Mifflin. They both agree to complain to CEO Jo Bennet if Gabe ever rejects either of their ideas.

Oscar is declared the winner of the costume contest. A series of interviews reveal several employees' reasons for voting for Oscar – Kelly voted on who she thought was least likely to win, Ryan for the underdog, and Creed because he thought Oscar was wearing an excellent Edward James Olmos costume.

Best Funny Quotes From The Office - Costume Contest

What about this one? It’s kinda badass, right? Just seems kinda crazy in a way I might need right now.

I don’t know. looks at Stanley, who took his mug and is drinking out of it Oh! That’s… not… yours.

Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug, and didn’t seem to realize that it wasn’t his hot coffee. So the question has to be asked, is there no limit to what he won’t notice?

What’s a seven letter word for purse?

sitting at Phyllis’ desk, dressed like Phyllis; high pitched voice Satchel!

Nope. Starts with an H.

shirtless, wearing only a tie Handbag.

Hmmm. glances at Andy Thank you.

Shh! Shhh! watches Jim put a cardboard box over Stanley’s monitor

standing outside the conference room, wearing fake teeth, watching Stanley walk in All right, everybody, take a seat. As you may have heard, our branch on the planet Jupiter is up eight thousand percent in sales!

Yay! applause

All

looks at the clock, then at his watch Hold up! That clock is slow. It is five o’clock, I will see you all tomorrow:

turns around, is wearing a mustache Bye, Stanley! Love you! waves, Stanley leaves

standing next to a pony So long, Stanley!

Night, everybody.

So what kind of statement are you making with that costume, Kevin?

The statement that I am making, Oscar, is that I kind of look like Michael Moore.

Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin! Happy Halloween! How can I haunt you today?

A lot of people are really getting into Halloween this year! puts head down over fake bomb made from cardboard, high pitched voice Six seconds, MacGruber! lifts head Pam’s got a lot of fun stuff planned! puts head down, high pitched voice Uh, two seconds MacGruber! lifts head Including a… costume contest, and bobbing for apples, and a Ouija board… OHHH! BOOM! OHH EXPLOSION! throws fake bomb, takes off sunglasses, points to camera MACGRUBERRRR!

People are really into the costume contest this year. Might have something to do with the prize, maybe you’ve heard of it. The 2011 Scranton Wilkes-Barre coupon book worth over fifteen thousand dollars in savings!

Stop.

has his hands around Jim’s neck Too late! If I was the real Scranton Strangler, you’d be so strangled right now. If you’re out there, strangler, you will get caught! By me.

Sounds like someone’s really trying to convince us that he’s not the Scranton Strangler.

To my chickens I’m the Scranton Strangler. looks at Pam Oh-ho! That’s very funny. Looks like someone decided to dress up as old Dwight Schrute’s mom.

What?

You’re only one third as beautiful and only half her height.

I’m supposed to be Olive Oyl. And it makes more sense when I’m standing next to Popeye, but… Jim doesn’t want to put his costume on.

places pipe in mouth I am Popeye!

I’ve never really been a costume guy. Even when I was a kid, it just felt like something I was too old for. And then this morning, when Pam hands me this little number holds up Popeye costume, shakes head …no.

dressed as Lady Gaga In case you can’t read m-m-my Poker Face… laughs we will be reviewing our sales policies. accepts note from Michael, reads it out loud I have ten seconds to read them or this whole place blows up.

MACGRUBER!

Lame. Why don’t witches wear panties?

Oh, here we go!

Because they need to grip the broom!

laughs OH! Who likes to water ski on Lake Erie? No wai-where does Dracula like to water ski?

Lake Erie.

When our warehouse workers make deliveries, they’re going to be encouraged to offer clients extra products. And then they will split those commissions with sales.

So, wait, drivers are going to be able to sell paper on the road?

That is correct.

Has anyone started calling you “Gabe-wad” yet?

Not here.

Gabe-wad.

Okay, guys, fun is fun, but-

Blackula!

Dracula.

Oh, so… I almost forgot. You’ll find this hilarious. Apparently corporate is going to have drivers sell paper on their routes now. That’s like, exactly sort of the idea that you had.

Yes. I do remember saying something like that to you.

Yeah. I’m sorry. I blew this. You should have gotten credit for that, man.

I’m just glad we’re gonna try it out.

Really? We’re good?

Yeah. We’re cool.

Okay. reaches out and shakes Darryl’s hand Okay.

What’s under your shirt?

Oh. It’s a ream of paper. Thought you might hit me.

Darryl Philbin is the greatest guy in the world. And you know what I’d like? I would like to have all the racists brought together and take Darryl Philbin out to lunch. Just to see what they’re missing.

leans hobo sack against the refrigerator It’s a great stick, right?

It’s really good. It’s a classic. I think you might win the whole thing with that.

Thanks!

Everyone realizes that this coupon book isn’t actually worth fifteen thousand dollars, right? You’d have to spend two hundred thousand dollars on crap you don’t actually need to get fifteen thousand dollars worth of benefits. I’m not the only one who sees this, right?

No.

I get that. I get that.

Excuse me, everybody. I want to invite you all to the Halloween party I’m having at my bar.

You own a bar?

Public School, at exit 11.

That’s a great name. You’re hilarious. A plus!

So. You’re all on the list!

Hey, man, can I get a plus five? It’s all guys.

Hey, what’s the crowd like, Danny? Our age?

Okay.

I don’t think that she would leave Jim for Danny.

I don’t know, they’re both handsome.

Pam is gonna choose whoever has a scent most like that of her father. Does anyone remember what her dad smelled like?

I think he-

Hey hey hey, quiet, here she comes! Did you hear about that Danny guy? Heard he used to date Pam.

So four years ago, when I was in Stamford, Connecticut, and dating someone else, Pam went on two dates with Danny. Which was obviously the greatest love story ever told, given how much people are walking on eggshells around us.

We were basically Romeo and Juliet.

That’s right.

Except where Juliet doesn’t have that great a time and Romeo doesn’t call back after two dates.

Yikes.

But I’ve learned to love again. puts her arm on Jim’s shoulder He’s a cartoon sailor.

Oh, no.

And looks so handsome in his UNIFORM! Please?

No. No, I’m not gonna-no.

Tuna! Tuna! Do you want us to skip this party?

I don’t care.

I am never gonna forget what Danny did to Pam. I forget nothing. I’m like an elephant in that way.

You know what else? pulling fake teeth out of his mouth The-this… this sucks for Jim. Right? But it also sucks for us. Because we don’t get invited to a ton of Halloween parties. puts teeth back in

Yeah, and everyone else is gonna be there. Stanley, Phyllis, Angela, Darryl… Creed’s a maybe.

removes teeth Creed’s going?!

Madge from the warehouse just made her first sale. Madge. We should have been doing this a long time ago.

Erin! Would you please do me a solid and get Darryl Philbin on the speakerphone?

answers phone Hello?

Hi, Darryl, come out here, please.

I’m good.

You need to stop being so shy, come out here, and embrace who you really are, superstar!

This is embarrassing, Michael.

Yeah, I bet it is! If you’re gonna do your job well here, you gotta get used to being embarrassed.

Let me put my shoes on. hangs up phone, dial tone

leans over toward Erin Um, hit the speakerphone button. The speakerphone button? The same button as you hit before… or sit on it.

This whole delivery slash sales idea? You know whose idea that was? That was Darryl Philbin’s. He thought of that way before the corporate fat suits.

So, what happened?

I got in the way. I said no. And it just stopped. But then corporate comes up with this idea, but you know what? They need to know that it was yours. And I don’t care if I take a bullet. We’re gonna call them, we’re gonna put them on speakerphone right now…

Oh! fumbles for phone

And we are going to straighten this out.

Screw corporate! They probably stole the idea anyway.

Mmhm!

Uh uh. Corporate stole nothing, okay? Darryl told me, and then I told them, giving Darryl full credit, so… no need to mimicking Andy screw corporate! Or anything like that, so. Let’s give Darryl a round of applause, as planned. claps

I’m a little peeved at Darryl right now.

He went to Gabe behind your back.

No, he didn’t go behind my back. He went over my head.

He went over your head to go behind your back.

What is taking someone from behind?

No. Shh. Michael, listen. This cannot stand. We can’t have workers going straight to corporate. Makes your job superfluous.

It was a good idea, though.

Yeah. Here’s another good idea. Corporate chain of command. We need to strangle Darryl’s idea.

Hey, Danny.

Hey.

I’m really sorry, but we can’t come to your party tonight.

I was looking forward to throwing some darts with you guys.

You were?

Okay, well then, uh, I mean, maybe we could do it like… next Halloween.

For sure.

We’re just like, totally caught in the middle here.

What are you talking about?

Well Jim and Pam basically begged us not to go…

Jim and Pam really don’t want you to go?

They’re really upset about the whole Danny situation.

I’ll talk to them.

Yeah, but wait, don’t tell them that we said anything to you.

Okay.

Or you’re dead.

Okay.

Kelly! Great costume!

Oh.

KELLY! You cannot change costumes in the middle of the day! Pam, she’s out.

Um, if I’m out, I’m going to sue this ENTIRE COMPANY for discrimination.

Guys? You’re arguing over a one in sixteen chance. Over a prize worth… forty bucks.

Um, fifteen thousand bucks, Oscar.

Yeah, shut it, Oscar. Pam?

This is an amazing prize. I mean, I don’t even want to give Pam a compliment, because she’s so blegh, but she did a good job. I really want that coupon book.

Garbage magnet. throws magnet Garbage magnet, God! Magnets are interesting enough, you don’t need to tart them up with some design. to Michael I can’t believe this doesn’t make you mad!

staring at Gabe and Kevin What the hell are they talking about?

Hmm, Kevin and Gabe. Probably about the extremes of the human physique.

Do you think that Kevin is going over my head? I don’t-sees Kevin and Gabe fist-bump Oh my GOD. Okay. All right. All right. You know what? That’s inappropriate, Kevin. I am your boss, and if you have something to say, it goes through me, and then I take it to Gabe. Chain of command. Do you understand?

I am so sorry.

Oh, you’re sorry?

I just thought-

What did you just thought?

Well, Gabe asked me if there were any really cool Lady Gaga moves that he could do for the catwalk. And so then I tol-tries not to cry

All right.

I told him that there was this one cool move where she powers down like a robot.

Okay.

Okay? But I- I am so sorry that I didn’t tell you first.

Well, don’t let it happen again.

hysterical You think that I would let this happen again?! NO WAY JOSE.

I-

bleep you, Gabe!

Okay…

Can you imagine? It’s just crazy.

That is crazy. We would never care if Andy or Kevin went to your party.

Look, I’m just glad we can laugh about it. Because I was a little nervous about coming to work here, with, you know, our history.

Oh, my gosh! People keep blowing it out of proportion! It’s not even a history.

Exactly.

It’s not like you guys had some long relationship right? Big painful breakup I don’t know about?

No! Two or three dates.

It was two.

Was it two? I thought it was three.

No, we um, we had plans for a third, but then I don’t know, you never called me back, so…

Oooh! You can’t handle the truth! laughs

laughing Well, that does not sound like me.

Yeah? stops laughing It was though, that’s what happened.

stops laughing Well, great, I just wanted to make sure that things weren’t weird.

Hmm-mm.

Okay, this whole going over my head-gate? Is making people act weird. The chain of command is crumbling. Do you know what just happened? I just made Kevin cry. And Gabe looks like Lady Gaga. That’s not Halloween. Halloween should be a day in which we honor monsters and not be mad at each other.

I’m not mad. Are you mad?

You went over my head. And then you lied to my face. So my head and my face have taken a beating.

Well, I’m sorry if it seems that way to you.

Okay, that might help. If you said “I’m sorry” in front of everybody.

Mike.

In front of me.

You made a bad call. And I fixed it. So I’m not apologizing.

So that’s it.

That’s it.

Is it?

Yes.

Sookehhh. removes teeth Bill Compton, from True Blood.

How many freakin’ vampires am I supposed to care about these days?

I guess you could say I’m still in costume. I’m a rational consumer.

Oh.

Stupid coupon booklet. Have you seen my costume? I’m a rational consumer.

Yeah, I uh, heard you say it to Phyllis. That’s a good line.

Okay, everybody! After you walk the runway everyone has to vote for who gets the coupon book. And you can’t vote for yourself.

Pam. Can you vote for other people?

Yeah, I gotta get in on this. mocking Darryl Hey, it’s cool, man, I work in the warehouse! I’m cool! I’m hip and I’m jive! And I don’t care about nobody! Do you know who I am? Happy Halloween, jerk!

Still don’t know who I am? I’ll give you a hint. I go over other people’s heads.

Michael, this is a bad idea.

What’s a bad idea?

Dressing up as somebody-I mean, when has that ever worked for you?

NEVER! tosses wig Okay, you know what? Fine. I’m not Darryl. And thank God I’m not Darryl.

Could you for once just let us enjoy a party instead of making it about all your issues?

walking down the runway Raaah! waves sword

I present to you the finger quotes rational consumer, as it were.

Angela as the nurse!

I don’t like your tone! Look, they were sold out of all the other costumes, okay? I think we all live in the real world, here. Let’s not pretend to be unaware of what sells in this office.

What should we ask?

Hey, can I play? Why don’t you ask if Darryl is a bad friend who backstabs people in the back?

We have one question to ask the spirit world and you want us to ask that?

He says no.

Aaah! Darryl moved it. You moved it.

No.

Dwight, you saw Darryl move it, right?

Let’s just say I saw exactly what the two of you wanted me to see.

I know how to sit on a fence. Hell, I can even sleep on a fence. The trick is to do it face down with the post in your mouth.

If you had one word you would use to describe Darryl what would that word be?

hands are being forced to the letters A… S… S… H… E… T?

An asset!

Ah! lets go, candy corn flies everywhere That’s enough.

I don’t think it’s gonna work out the way you think.

I don’t think you get it.

Hey.

This is some party, huh?

When you work hard, you play hard around here. Even if you don’t work hard. Oh, here’s something. Uh, why didn’t you ever call Pam back?

Are you serious?

Yeah. I mean, I’m not saying that everyone has to fall in love, or anything, I’m just saying… but you know, to not even call her back is…

You know what it was? I think she gave me her number but then her fours look like eights, and…

Could be. But you also called her the second time so you had the number right.

Halpert, you lookin’ for someone to bang your wife?

Nope.

Okay. You wanna know? I didn’t call her back because she spent the whole date talking about you. She was obviously in love with you.

Fifty seven. Fifty eight.

Wait, wait. She hasn’t moved in awhile.

reaches over to pull Erin out of apple bobbing water ERIN!

Two! I got two. I ate two whole apples.

I’d remember talking about Jim. That wasn’t it.

Just tell her the real reason.

Do you honestly want to know why I didn’t call her back on a date over four years ago?

Hey. She had a nice time. It seems rude.

I did. And it’s just one of those things that’s going to keep gnawing at me, like “gnaw, gnaw, why? Why didn’t he? I have no idea why.”

Okay. Honestly. I didn’t call you back because I-thought you seemed a little… dorky.

Hey, man.

Thank you! Thank you. I got it. Now I know. You thought I was a little dorky. You know? gibberish sounds Okay. Well, excuuuuse me.

In the future, you need to get Michael’s approval on anything before coming to me.

Thank you.

You’re gonna be missing out on some good ideas.

Okay, well, obviously if it’s a really, really good idea, my door is open.

If they’re good ideas, I’m not gonna say no!

You said no to this one!

That was-okay, you make one mistake in fifteen years and you drag me over the coals, after everything I did for you?

What have you done for me?

Oh…

What have you done for me?

Well…

Ed Truck hired me. Jo promoted me. Gabe listened to me. All you’ve ever done is say no to me. I have ambition. And you kept me at the same level for years.

Ohh. Dropping bombs, right? explosion noise This really make you think, Michael?

Stop it! Stop, stop. We’re thinking. We’re thinking about it.

Yeah.

You don’t have to point to the fact that we’re thinking about it. Stop it! Just let us think. Okay, next time you have a really great idea, we will put it in a hat, and then we will have Erin pick it out of the hat and let her decide.

I don’t understand the point of a hat.

You’re right, we don’t need a hat.

I am not budging on the hat issue.

Okay. We’re going to table the hat question. The best ideas are going to come to me, I make the final decision, period.

Okay. We both reserve the right to go to Jo if we disagree with Gabe.

Okay, why don’t we simplify this? Darryl brings it to Michael, Michael brings it to me, no one calls Jo.

Unless you and I decide we want to talk to Jo, then we’ll give her a call.

Cool. Okay. Sorry I lied.

Sorry I was a jerk.

Friends fight. Friends fight.

What’s up, man?

Sometimes it seems like it was better down in the warehouse, you know?

When I was a freshman in college, I worked at the student newspaper, the Cornell Daily Sun? This was at Cornell. I had to write an op-ed column every day. Bernard’s Regards.

This was your freshman year.

I started to ask myself, “Do I have big plans here?” I didn’t want to become editor of that paper, so I got up and walked right out of Walter Bernard hall, and that’s actually when I heard eight male voices, singing, unencumbered by instruments. I was hooked. So is becoming CEO of this company your a capella group? Come on, we’re going to Danny’s bar. Public School.

No. I got some work to do. I do got big plans with this company.

To be honest, I still can’t believe he didn’t call her back. Who doesn’t call a dork like that back?

Oh, wow!

holding Cece Spinach in a can. Power eat spinach. Popeye sound

Aww, my hero!

Okay, everyone, I’ve tallied the votes, and the winner… of the costume celebration spectacular… and the Scranton Wilkes-Barre coupon book… Oscar Martinez.

If I have to vote for someone, I don’t want it to be someone who can beat me.

Shake things up. I’m a Nader guy.

Best Edward James Olmos costume I’ve ever seen. Like, freaky good.

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