The Sting - The Office (Season 7, Episode 5)

Dwight and Jim are sent on assignment to make a sales pitch to a client, and are eager to land the sale. However, Danny Cordray, a rival paper salesman from the very small Osprey company who steals more potential sales away from Dunder Mifflin than anyone, has also arrived for a sales pitch. Dwight also reveals that Danny had a romantic history with Pam four years previously. Jim and Dwight call in Michael, who is ecstatic at getting a chance to make a sale, to come and try to save them. The company ends up taking Danny's offer, even after Michael promises at-cost paper sales and weekend delivery. The trio leaves the client's office and head back home, defeated.

During a brainstorm session, Michael, Jim, and Dwight decide to set up a sting operation to observe Danny's sales techniques. They set up Meredith as the CEO of the fictional company Solartech in Dwight's office, fitted with security cameras, and watch from another room. Danny is then sent in to try to make a sale. All starts well until Meredith attempts to seduce him. Dwight and Jim send in Oscar to save the sting, but Meredith strong-arms him into submission. After she does the same to Ryan, Michael rushes in to call the whole thing off.

Danny becomes infuriated and walks off. Michael catches up to him and offers him a job, pointing out that with Sabre's better pricing, he could make more sales as a traveling salesman for them. He accepts the offer, and Michael introduces him as the new salesman to the office. The rest of the sales staff act disrespectful towards him, worrying that Danny will take their clients. Michael tells them how well sales numbers will go up with Danny as a part of the branch, and that he is not going to rescind Danny's job offer just because it makes the other salespeople uncomfortable. Before Dwight leaves for the day, he viciously insults Danny about his alleged mistreatment of Pam and client-stealing past, then immediately welcomes him to the company.

Andy starts a band after reading about how well one of his friends is doing in the music business. He manages to get Darryl and Kevin to join him in writing a song, with Andy singing an anti-war song from the perspective of a little girl in falsetto. The song is poorly received by the rest of the office, specifically due to the “weird” notion of Andy singing in a little girl's point of view, and Andy returns to the drawing board. Seeing that Andy is dejected, Kevin and Darryl offer to stay and jam with him for a little extra time, and the trio come up with a lively song called "Bullfrog In Love".

Best Funny Quotes From The Office - The Sting

Photo of Michael Scott
Look at that.
Huh?
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Michael Scott
Nice!
I love cycling. Andy, I feel like a tourist in my own city. I literally can’t wait to wake up every morning.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Pam Beesley
Okay.
She is a beaut!
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Can’t beat a horse. A horse is a bike that peddles itself.
Yes, it is.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Michael Scott
Oh, look at that. pushing bike Smooth roll.
Yeah.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Kevin Malone
You got it! Lance Armstrong’s Bike!
Yes.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Meredith Palmer
His ass was on that seat? All right!
Nice.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Oscar Martinez
No, Meredith, that’s not his actual bicycle, but it is the same exact model he uses.
I’m on Sheryl Crow’s side in that whole thing, so I feel really weird right now.
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Pam Beesley
crashing sound Michael!
Oh, god!
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Oh…

Yes, I can ride a bike. I take spinning classes three times a month. I think I know how to ride a bike.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Jim Halpert
Are you sure you once knew how to do this?
I did, yes! I had those extra wheels on the back…that support you. Pam and Jim begin wheeling him Mi-chael! Mi-chael!
Photo of Michael Scott
All
chanting Mi-chael! Mi-chael! Mi-chael! Mi-chael!
Yeah!
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Come on, Michael! Yeah!
Just steer more now.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
crashes into Jim and Pam’s parked car Oh, my god!
Not the car!
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
No! No!
Ow! grunts, stumbles to his feet You never forget. Whoo!
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Dwight Schrute
How do I look?
Amazing. How do I look?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Normal. Ugly.
Well, I do the best with what I’ve got. Let’s go.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Alright. Wait, wait, wait, wait for me! It’s weird if I come in slightly after.

We have a big meeting with the chief buyer for Frames Select, Steve Nash.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
He’s not the Steve Nash. He’s big though. He’s kind of like…Scranton’s Steve Nash.
Will you stop trying to put it in terms you think they’ll understand? It’s condescending.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
I’m not doing that. I’m just explaining.
And who is this “the” Steve Nash?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Phoenix Sun’s point guard?
No.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
No? Nothin’?
No, Mr. Jock Hipster.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Well, I’m neither of those things, so…

reading Cornell magazine Whoa. Libby Dirketts got married. Big Red mazel tov to the Libster. Ooh, says here Dan Becker fell off the side of Kilimanjaro in a climbing accident. It appears Dan’s Sherpa survived to tell the tale-Oh, my God!
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Phyllis
What? Is Dan okay?
No, he died. It’s Broccoli Rob. You know this guy; I showed you his picture on Facebook.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Phyllis
Yes.
“Some Vermont-based alums can hear ‘Broccoli’ Rob Blatt, ’96, in the state milk lobby’s new milk awareness song, ‘Calci-YUM!’, featuring Phish’s Trey Anastasio. Says Broccoli, ‘Trey and I had a ton of fun in the studio, and I think you can hear it in the song.'”
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Phyllis
Oh, that’s great news for your friend.
Yeah, yeah, it’s great…
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Phyllis
You know, I forget about milk. This is a terrific reminder.

I was the artsy, musical one. In Here Comes Treble I had four solos, Broccoli rob had three. Right? Uhh.
Photo of Andy Bernard

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Go tell her we’re here. You’re good with receptionists.
Oh, ha ha ha. Dwight…motions to lobby
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Crap.

Danny Cordray is the worst.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Well, by worst, you mean the best.
The best salesman ever. He works for Osprey Paper over in Throop, steals more clients from Dunder-Mifflin than anyone.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
So, the situation is the worst.
Also, he slept with Pam.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
No, he didn’t. Dwight mouthing “yes, he did”

Tell ’em.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Nothing happened. We went on a couple of dates. He never called me again.
What? He never called you? I thought you said it just fizzled.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
That’s fizzling. I mean, someone has to start the fizzle.
Yeah, I thought you started it.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
No, I liked him. For a couple of days. Four years ago. Jim nodding repeatedly You know I have a kid with you, right?
Ahhh.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Dwight Schrute
I’m gonna intimidate him. Okay?
Okay, great-
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Watch this.
-I’m just gonna watch.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
speaking loudly So anyway, she says, “that is the biggest penis I have ever seen.” And I said, “I know. That’s why I brought you to the Penis Museum, where tickets are a thousand dollars.” Well, hello Danny!
Hey, Dwight. Good to see you. Jim, hey.
Photo of Danny
Photo of Jim Halpert
shaking hands How are ya?
Good to see you too.
Photo of Danny
Photo of Dwight Schrute
What are you doing?
Oh, I’m just here for the coffee.
Photo of Danny
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Like hell you are.
Dwight!
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
He’s not just here for the coffee, Jim. Wake up!

Brainstorming session is now open. Anyone has an idea-cell phone rings Hold on. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Hello?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Hey, it’s Jim. Listen, this is important. Are you busy?
Oh, hey. No, I’m not busy. What’s up?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Angela Martin
What?
You are busy! We’re in a meeting!
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Michael Scott
It’s Jim, Okay? Yes.
Listen, you gotta get over here, ’cause we’re pitching Steve Nash and Danny Cordray is here.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
You need the big guns, yes?
Yes.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
What’d he say? What did he say?
The big gun thing. Dwight grabs at phone Stop!
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
I will see you in ten. Bye! Hold tight. hangs up Well, I know a lot of you thought that my sales days were behind me, and to be honest, so did I…and the only reason I got out of the sales game was to be reluctantly called back in.
You don’t look reluctant, Michael. You look really eager.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
laughing No, I don’t have time for this. Are you kidding me?
You don’t?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
No! Okay. runs out the door All right.

knocking Knockity-knock, don’t knock back. Just kidding you can knock; it’s your office. Do you have a minute?
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
I’m very busy with time-sensitive work.
Not to go all Sherlock Holmes on you, but I can tell by the reflection in your glasses that you’re entering points into Weight Watchers dot com.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
If you don’t enter them immediately, you forget. What?
I’m starting a band and I need you on keyboards.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Nah. I play for pleasure.
This is for pleasure.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
I wouldn’t enjoy that.
I’m willing to pay you.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
How much?
Sixty bucks a session.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
That’s crazy money. I’ll take forty.
Yes!
Photo of Andy Bernard

Photo of Dwight Schrute
There he is.
Oh, no, that’s a male model.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
No, that’s him.
That…hello. Michael Scott, Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
Danny Cordray, Osprey Paper.
Nice to meet you.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
Three of you guys for one sale.
Yeah, well…we call it overkill. Why am I telling you my strategy?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
Well, whatever works for ya. Anyway. All right.
All right.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
It’s good to see you guys. Nice to meet you.
Buh-bye. I could swear that guy was a male model.
Photo of Michael Scott
Receptionist
He’s ready for you.
Oh, thank you. All right. On the count of three, it’s showtime. Ready, one, two–
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Nope, not doing that.
I’ve been in showtime mode since breakfast.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
Okay, you know-all right, just forget it then.
Showtime!
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
It’s showtime! Oh…never mind. Let’s go.

When I knock on your door, you know who it is; it’s Michael Scott. We’ve been together forever and we-
Photo of Michael Scott
Steve
Michael, I appreciate everything that Dunder-Mifflin has done for this company.
You know what? You are having some problems with your loading dock, are you not? All right. We’re going to deliver to you on weekends.
Photo of Michael Scott
Steve
That’s very generous, but-
And you know what else we’re gonna do? I can’t believe I’m gonna say this…we are going to offer you our paper at cost. I know. I could get in a lotta trouble for this, so you’d better shake my hand right now.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
He’s not kidding.
Shake it, shake it!
Photo of Michael Scott
Steve
Michael, I’m going with Danny.
Oh.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Steve
Thanks for coming in.
Okay. Thank you.
Photo of Michael Scott
Steve
Thank you.
Thanks, Steve.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Jim talked too much.
No, I didn’t.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Yes, you did.
Stop it. Just stop it. We did what we should have done, we just got bested. pounds the elevator button Why is there a door close button if it doesn’t even close the door?
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Michael Scott
How do I feel about losing the sale? It’s like if Michael Phelps came out of retirement, jumped in the pool, belly-flopped, and drowned.

You know who we always lose out to? Staples, the big guys. Osprey? They’re a small company. They’re smaller than we are. What’s our excuse? How do we combat this guy? Stanley, how do we combat him?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Stanley Hudson
We sell better?
Okay. You know what? You clearly don’t care, so why don’t you just leave?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Stanley Hudson
I would like to stay. This pertains to me.
Why don’t you go outside and…take a shot of insulin and have a nap, okay?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Stanley Hudson
Why do you always assume I have diabetes?
I don’t know, your frame, your build-why don’t you have a glass of apple juice and tell me you’re not a diabetic. Stanley stands to leave See? I could tell by the sound you made when you stood up that you have-okay. Yes, Phyllis?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Phyllis
I could try to seduce him.
Oh, my god!
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
I know how we can learn his tricks.

What I am about to show you is of the utmost secrecy.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Is that your office?
Yes, Jim. And with a little tweaking, it becomes a different office. We lure Danny to it and watch him sell.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Phyllis
Uh…
I’m outta here.
Photo of Stanley Hudson
Photo of Phyllis
This is weird.
You know what this is? This is a stinger.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
A what?
Like the movie.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
I think you mean The Sting.
Paul Newman, Robert Redford. They’re bank robbers.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Nope. Different movie.
The Sting. The Sting.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Erin
Your two o’clock. Danny enters
Thanks, hun.
Photo of Meredith Palmer

Photo of Jim Halpert
Meredith was the perfect choice to play the head of the company. Her lunch break lined up with our appointment with Danny and…that’s it. That’s really all we were looking for.

Danny Cordray. It’s great to meet you.
Photo of Danny
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Meredith Van Helsing. Pleased to meet you.
Meredith Van Helsing?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Van Helsing was a respected professor before he was a vampire killer.
Okay. But what is he more famous for?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Shhh! Hey! That’s my mug.
You know this isn’t real TV, right?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Yes.

singing Please Mr. President, if you wanna give hope a whirl, bring our troops home safe and sound, says this little girl.
Darryl and Andy
Photo of Andy Bernard
in falsetto Please Mr. President-
One second, one second, one second. stops playing So, this song is from the point of view of a little girl?
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Andy Bernard
Yeah.
But you’re singing it.
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Andy Bernard
Yeah, but I’m using my falsetto.
No, that’s not a good idea. I don’t see that as a very good song.
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Andy Bernard
Yeah, well, it’d sound a lot better if you actually sang with some soul.
Oh, I never sing with soul.
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Andy Bernard
That’s a lie.
I could sing it.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Andy Bernard
I just was hoping to maybe save your voice in case we did a novelty song about frogs.
But my voice is unique. Like Bob Dylan.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Andy Bernard
Okay, three-way argument between a drummer, a keyboardist, and the front man lead singer. Wonder who’s gonna win this one. Two, three, four-

I’m gonna take off my coat, if you don’t mind. It’s a bit warm in here.
Photo of Danny
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Hel-lo!
Oh, no, no. No. Don’t-
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
People can’t keep their true natures hidden for long, and this guy is smoldering like a tire fire.
Testify.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Okay, he’s not that good-looking. I don’t understand why everybody’s obsessed with this-
Yeah, he is that good-looking.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
He’s very, very handsome.
Okay.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Meredith Palmer
That’s a great set of shoulder’s you got there. What is that…Genetics? Creatine? phone rings Sorry. Yeah?
Pull it together, all right? Stop lookin’ at him.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Meredith Palmer
I’m sorry. hangs up You’re here to sell me some paper.
Well, actually, uh… no, Miss Van Helsing, that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to meet you, see if we’d be a, you know, good fit.
Photo of Danny
Photo of Meredith Palmer
What do you mean?
Oh…my god! He’s making her sell to him.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Andy Bernard
everyone finishes listening to song Okay. Honest feedback time. Oscar?
It’s pandering. And it makes me think you think I’m stupid.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Andy Bernard
But do you think it could be famous? Like in a car commercial or something?
Not really. It’s kinda weird that a grown man is singing from the point of view of a little girl.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Andy Bernard
I feel like I can see someone ice skating to it. You know, like in the Olympics.
I-I don’t think they usually…skate to such…bad songs.
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Andy Bernard
Rude. And not helpful.
Well, I really, really, really liked it.
Photo of Creed Bratton
Photo of Andy Bernard
Well, that…really bums me out.
You’re welcome.
Photo of Creed Bratton

Photo of Danny
We should think of this as a first date. And I think it’s going very well, how ’bout you?
Real well. Uh…feels more like a third date to me.
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Photo of Danny
Ha ha, okay, there you go! phone rings, Meredith answers
Stay-
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Shut up and let me do this! hangs up You know, what is with this desk keeping us so far apart?
I’ve never been a desk man. Always traveling on the road. Come on…why not, huh?
Photo of Danny
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Oh…
Well, we’ll get this…Meredith unbuttons
Photo of Danny
Photo of Michael Scott
Oh!
Oh, man!
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Meredith Palmer
So, what’s your drink? You a vodka man? Me too.
We gotta get someone else in there right now.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Jim Halpert
You’re an exec at Pennsylvania Solartech and-
That sounds fake.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Jim Halpert
What do you mean?
I told you! You’re an exec at Stark Industries, a corporation you inherited from your father-
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Will you stop? Stop it, stop it. Here’s the story-they need Meredith somewhere else asap, okay?
Okay.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Jim Halpert
So you’re taking over. You just gotta get her out of there as soon as you can.
All right. I can do that. Then what?
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Then make him pitch to you.
Yes.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
We gotta see what he’s got.
Exactly. You can do this.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay, and remember-you’re not gay.
Stop it! It’s gonna be great.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Okay.
And listen if anything else happens, just…roll with it.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Oscar Martinez
Meredith, I-
Oh, Manuel! This is Manuel, my cleaning man. He doesn’t speak any English.
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Photo of Danny
Hola. Que tal?
Como estas, senor?
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Uh, Manuel, cleano el window.
Who else we got?
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay. You’re a young hotshot from Stark Industries. You’ve just bought this company. Meredith is fired. It’s a whole new regime. He’s gotta pitch to you now.
Okay. Stark Industries isn’t real. I run Google. Larry and Sergey brought me in-
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Jim Halpert
Great. Sounds awesome. Just have him pitch to you.
Don’t let us down.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Ryan
points to Jim Will do. points to Michael Won’t do.

Yeah, sure.
Photo of Danny
Photo of Meredith Palmer
You smell like a Scorpio. Ryan enters This is…Esteban…another cleaning man. He doesn’t speak English either. Esteban, el flooro.
You know what? I may have parked my car in a compact space, and I hate when I see others do that, so-
Photo of Danny
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Danny, I feel a real connection to you, and I gotta get real, I’m-
No, no, no….
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
No, no, no, no…
I’m goin ‘in!
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Michael! No, Michael, stop it! No!
Stop, stop! Oh, my god! enters office Okay. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Gross! Stop it, please. Everybody, stop.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
Michael Scott.
I said stop. Okay, Danny…this is not Pennsylvania Solartech. This is Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company. This is Meredith Palmer-
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Please to meet you-
Don’t! Get away from him. Please, just leave. Get out of here. Go. Forever.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
Hmm.
I owe you…a most sincere and humble apology. We were trying to watch you to see your sales technique, so we could stop losing so many clients to you.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
But from where?
A surveillance room next to this one.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
Okay, so you…set up this fake company, then you hired this homeless woman to impersonate an executive to spy on me so that you could copy my sales technique?
Yes. And it’s the sincerest form of flattery.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
Or…crazy.
Well-
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
I’m gonna go.
Okay. You know what, it wasn’t just me. Jim and Dwight are behind that wall in the surveillance room and it was their plan as well.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
No!
No, no, no, no.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Danny
Oh, well then, yeah. All right. Hey! knocking on wall Good luck, guys. Seems like you got a great operation here.
No, we don’t. Here’s-here’s my point. Danny, listen, you have to understand that we are not normally like this. We just-we wanted to know your tricks.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
What do you mean, my tricks? There’s no tricks, man. I’m just a good salesman. You wanna copy that? You can’t copy that! opens door to leave
You are, you are. You are! Stop it, stop it. Stop. closes door You are a good salesman. And because of that…I want you to work for me.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
Sure. You seem like a fun, professional guy.
So, you will?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
opening door again to leave No!
Hold it, hold it. forcing door closed Hold on, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. Wait. Danny, I want you to look at me. Do you want your life to be better…or to be worse or to stay the same?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
Get out of my way.
Answer the question. Do you want a better life, Danny?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
I swear to God, I’m gonna hit you. I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. I’m not-it’s just I’m very upset right now.
I know, I know.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
I’m very upset!
Do you want more freedom, less freedom, or to stay the same?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Danny
More freedom.
I can give you more money-there’s your better life. I can let you come and go as you please-there’s your freedom. And you already know Dunder-Mifflin has the best service and the best prices, but you beat us anyway. Can you imagine how well you would do selling our stuff?
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Michael Scott
Everyone, may I have your attention? I would like to introduce you to Mr. Danny Cordray. He is going to be joining us as our new traveling salesman. Say hello to Danny!
bleep me!
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Michael Scott
O-kay. You know what? No. No. This is not some sort of construction site…or all of Italy, where you can just go around treating people like meat. We are to respect him. I respect him because he reminds me of somebody. Can anybody guess who that is?
Josh Duhamel.
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Angela Martin
Yeah, I can see that.
No. No. No. Somebody in this office.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Kevin Malone
He’s like a better-looking Andy.
Thanks, Kevin.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Michael Scott
No, me. Right? Sorta like…a little younger version of me.
It’s hard to judge ourselves accurately, isn’t it.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Michael?
Yes.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Can I talk to you about something?
No, you may not.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
It’s about this very announcement you just made.
I said no.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Michael-
We’re not-
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Michael, I think you really want to talk to him.
Okay. Let’s-all right, all right. Let’s talk. Please don’t let him leave. pointing to Danny Don’t leave. Don’t let him.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Erin
Gotcha. they go into Michael’s office
You hired him?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Guys, let me ask you something. Do you want your life to be better or worse or stay the same?
Stay the same.
All
Photo of Michael Scott
Okay. Well…get ready, ’cause it’s gonna get better.
It’s not gonna get better; he’s gonna steal all of our clients.
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Michael Scott
No, no. Wrong. He would have stolen your clients, but you know what? He can’t now. This guy used to steal sales from us; now, he’s going to steal sales for us.
Where’s he gonna sit? There’s no more seats.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
He doesn’t need to sit, he’s a traveling salesman. Look, I am not going to exclude good people from our staff simply because they are threatening to you. And unless you have a better argument than that, I suggest you leave.
Hmpf!
Photo of Stanley Hudson
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Where’s he gonna park? There’s no more reserved parking spots.
Good-bye!
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Song’s about truth.
Yeah.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
What’s something you really care about?
Reverse snobbery.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
More universal.
Sometimes I feel like life has passed me by.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
plays soft chords and sings Couldn’t get outta bed today. Wish the alarm clock would go away.
Oh, nice!
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Andy Bernard
Holy crap. Are you kidding me? You just made that-that’s amazing!
Go ahead.
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Andy Bernard
singing Which me am I gonna be today?
Which me am I gonna be today?
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Andy Bernard
I gotta closet full of mes. Am I gonna be the happy me?
Or the me that stinks.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Andy Bernard
Oh, my gosh! We’re almost out of time. How much for another half hour?
Oh, don’t worry about it.
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Andy Bernard
Wait. Seriously?
Yeah.
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Andy Bernard
So we’re just, like, jamming as friends?
One, two, three, hit it.
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Andy Bernard
Closet full of mes-

Oh, you know…funny. Your wife and I went on a few dates.
Photo of Danny
Photo of Jim Halpert
Did ya?
Yeah. Way ,way, way back.
Photo of Danny
Photo of Jim Halpert
I’m just kidding. She told me about it.
Oh. She was not into me.
Photo of Danny
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh.
Obviously. I don’t even think she called me back.
Photo of Danny
Photo of Dwight Schrute
You snubbed her.
Dwight, please.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Let me handle this, Jim. Drop the act, Cordray, okay? We all know that you probably thought that Pam was too “meh” or thin without being toned. But I wanna tell you something-she is one of the plain hearty women of Scranton that make this city great. And so what if she doesn’t wear makeup? Pam mouthing “I wear makeup” We like her better that way! And you steal clients, don’t you? Don’t you!
Okay…that’s different.
Photo of Danny
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Oh, that’s different, is it? Okay…thief. You better check your things, people. In fact, where are my keys? Oh, there in my pocket. False alarm. Okay. awkward pause So…you’re gonna be workin’ here?
Uh…I mean-yeah.
Photo of Danny
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Welcome aboard.
Thank you.
Photo of Danny
Photo of Jim Halpert
Hey, crazy, um…so…that’s it? You’re just-you’re fine?
It’s after 5:00, Jim. I’m not gonna take this home. shakes Danny’s hand
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Danny
Oh.
Pleasure.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Danny
Thanks.

This morning, Danny Cordray stole a sale from me. So what do I do? I go out and I steal Danny Cordray. The sale that mattered, I made. Boom. Funny thing about it, we don’t even need him. We already have Packer on the road. Chhguuh! Crap. I forgot about Packer.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Kevin Malone
singing and playing drums Sun’s in her eyes, tongue full of flies. Would you like to share my paaaaaaad?
Croak, croak, croak. Bullfrog in love. Croak, croak, croak. Bullfrog in love and I gave her the croak that meant I love you.
All
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
I’ll be your croak monsieur.
falsetto I’ll be your croak madame.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Kevin Malone
Your mama mighta said that bullfrogs are dogs, but I’m here to tell you that I am a frog! Come and sit on my log, you little pollywog.
I find you absolutely ribbiting!
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
All
Croak, croak, croak. Bullfrog in love.
Croak, croak, croak. Bullfrog in love.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Kevin Malone
Croak!
Ribbit!
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Scoopity-splash!
Nice.
Photo of Kevin Malone

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