Double Date - The Office (Season 6, Episode 9)

Jim and Pam have constantly tried to avoid social contact with Michael and Helene, Pam's mother. However, Pam relents on the occasion of Helene's birthday, saying there is "no way out." Pam is disgusted that Michael picked a childhood restaurant that she likes (she snaps that maybe Michael will start dating her favorite meal from there as well) and registered the group as the Scott family. But when Pam sees that her mother is really happy with Michael, and he in return is extremely charming and loving to Helene, she ultimately starts to warm up to the thought of their dating. However, when Michael learns that Helene is turning 58 and is not interested in traveling or going white-water rafting, he worries that the romance between them will be boring and mundane. Michael points out their differences, saying he wants to do certain activities while he still can, and breaks up with Helene right in the middle of her birthday lunch, as Pam and Jim watch in horror.

Back at the office, Michael tries to bribe a furious Pam with a raise, but when she figures out his scheme, he asks her what she wants. Pam decides that she wants to hit Michael in the parking lot with everyone watching, to which Michael nervously agrees. Toby makes sure that Pam will hit Michael off company property, and helps her work on her punching technique. Ryan Howard (B.J. Novak) and Kelly warn Michael that Pam has "crazy pregnancy strength." That afternoon in the parking lot, Michael initially winces at Pam's attempts to hit him before sincerely apologizing about the whole ordeal. Pam orders Michael never to date another member of her family again, and he agrees. As Pam walks away, Michael protests that Helene came onto him, and Pam slaps him hard, to the shock of the rest of the office. As the group disperses, Pam admits to Jim that he was right; hitting Michael did not make her feel better.

Dwight is strangely doing nice things, such as buying New York bagels for everyone in the office and cleaning out the refrigerator in the office kitchen. He is actually trying to make everyone in the office indebted to him so that he can later cash in the favors by demanding they help him get Jim fired. He becomes annoyed when Andy immediately returns his favors, polishing Dwight's briefcase and buying everyone lunch. Everyone else in the office eventually returns Dwight's favors in the form of a Starbucks gift card, and Dwight is infuriated that he wasted his day. At the end of the episode, Dwight is icing Michael's face after he got hit by Pam, and Michael says to Dwight: “I owe you one.” Dwight interprets this literally and says he wants Jim fired. Michael refuses, and Dwight storms off.

Best Funny Quotes From The Office - Double Date

Good morning everybody. Who would like an authentic New York bagel? Hmmm? Stanley?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Stanley Hudson
Thank you. reaches for bagel
No, no, no, no. I got a pumpernickel just for you.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Wow. H & H. You went all the way to New York City to get us bagels?
Oh, why? Is there a place closer that sells them?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Phyllis
This is really nice Dwight, thanks.
Thanks.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Oh, don’t mention it. You owe me one. You all owe me one.

Good morning Michael.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
Morning Dwight.
Hungry?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
No. I had a fish stick sandwich. Actually I had two fish stick sandwiches. My girlfriend didn’t want hers. Because I guess I’m the only aphrodisiac she needs.
Fish sticks are not an aphrodisiac.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
Well, yeah…
You’re thinking of deer penis.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
It worked.
Regardless. That was over two hours ago and it is now a scientific fact that you are hungry. holds up tray Bagel?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
I don’t mind if I do.
K. I brought cheese too.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
I’m taking one for my lady friend.
Excellent.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
Brain food. Thank you very much.
Okay. walks out of Michael’s office You owe me.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Can’t a guy just buy some bagels for his friends so they’ll owe him a favor which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him anymore? Geez. When did everyone get so cynical?

Pam, would you care for a bagel?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh, no thank you.
That’s right. You’re a woman and you need to refuse food the first time. I’ll try again. Please Pam, reconsider and have a bagel.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Pam Beesley
I have an early lunch.

Michael’s been trying to get Jim and me to hang out ever since he started dating my mom. I don’t know. I really hoped this thing would just die out, but today he’s planning a birthday lunch for my mom and we have to go. No way out. No way out.
Photo of Pam Beesley

Photo of Erin
These are amazing. You took all these?
I’ve always found beauty in uncommon places. Homeless people. Graffiti. Photography lets me capture all that. Have you ever been photographed before?
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Erin
Oh just by like friends.
Well here’s what I’ve been doing around here. It’s for a series on exposure in the workplace.
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Helene
walks into the office Whoohoo! Pammy?
Hey! gets up to greet Helene Hey. Happy birthday.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Helene
Thank you. they hug
comes over to hug them both My girls. There they are. Pam walks away
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Michael Scott
Birthday lunch. Birthday lunch– there is no better medicine than birthday lunch. It’ll cure all of your “Gee I don’t know if Michael should be dating my mother” and fixes all occurrences of “I don’t really see them together”. So, open wide Pam and take a big old spoonful of birthday lunch medicine. Take with food.

Pam, aren’t you going to introduce us to Michael’s girlfriend?
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Pam Beesley
I think you guys all remember my mom from the wedding.
Yeah–
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Kevin Malone
Hi.
I think everyone has meet Helene. Shall we?
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Helene
Wait a minute. looks at the bag in Michael’s hand Is that another birthday present for me cause you already gave me a necklace.
Oh my God I love it. looks at camera and shakes head
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Helene
Tell her how you gave it to me.
No, that wouldn’t be–
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
He put it around my neck while I was still asleep this morning. What a nice way to wake up.
Yeah. The rest of the story has been censored due to– inappropriosity.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Kevin Malone
Because of sex?
Hey–
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Kevin!
Please, Kevin. You’re fired. Kevin looks at Jim; Jim shakes his head Sorry, sorry. Work with a bunch of idiots. Shall we go?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Yes, let’s go. looks at Erin and nods
Oh, wait. Um– Swartz Lumber is on the phone for you Pam and they say it’s urgent.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh, you guys. Just one second. picks up phone Oh my gosh! Are you serious? Shipping emergency. I don’t think I can go to lunch.
Oh man, that’s crazy. Right as we were on our way out too.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
I know. Isn’t that always how it goes?
Rarely. If ever. Let me give it a whirl. I’ll talk to them.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
I want to handle it.
That’s okay.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
I feel like its–
It’s my pleasure. takes phone from Pam Hello? Well that’s great. hangs up phone Turns out the paper was there all along.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Creed Bratton
sighs Thank God.

Something’s up. That paper was never supposed to arrive.
Photo of Creed Bratton

Photo of Helene
So, Pammy– are you still liking sales?
Yeah– it’s exciting.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Helene
Well, you know– Michael and I were– talking, and maybe if you put a little more face to face time with your clients you could improve your sales.
Pam’s sales are fine actually.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Just want you to succeed Pammy. You know what, we shouldn’t even be talking about business today.
Thank you.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Today is about family.

Why did I get in the car? I could of struggled. I have a whistle in my purse I didn’t even blow it.
Photo of Pam Beesley

Photo of Andy Bernard
Oh, Dwight. I have a little surprise for you.
Let me guess– you ate the bagel I gave you and loved it.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Yes! they laugh And I wanted to return the favor. I was polishing my loafers and I happened to look over and noticed that your brief case was a little worse for the wear, so a little elbow grease and she’s polished right up, back up to her former glory.
Wow–
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Feel it against your cheek.
I will. Andy rubs the briefcase against Dwight’s face
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Andy Bernard
You give me a gift– Bam! Thank you note. You invite me somewhere– Pow! RSVP. You do me a favor– Wham! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness.

Let me get that door for you– runs to open door
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Whoa–
There you go!
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Thank you very much. Now I’ve got it for you. holds open door
Oh… goodness… thanks. You know, here’s a healthy fitness tip. If you clench your buttocks together while walking you can really take the pressure off your knees.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Is that right?
Observe. walks towards desk
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Huh. laughs; follows Dwight
Right?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
That really works.
Yeah, feel free to use that. Anytime. Okay.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Hey– oh, hold on a second. Do not walk around with your jacket cattywampus.
straightens Andy’s tie And that needs to be straight as an arrow.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Whoa– thank you very much. takes off Dwight’s glasses and blows on them Oh boy.
Thank you very much for that.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
puts Dwight’s glasses back on Dwight’s face You are very welcome.
pulls out Andy’s chair Have a seat. Allow me.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
pulls out Dwight’s chair Have a seat yourself.
You know what? I am going to preemptively change the batteries in your wireless mouse.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Not necessary.
No, no, no! takes mouse and runs away
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
You didn’t have to do that.

Andy is complicating things. But I’m not worried. This will only up my game.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Michael Scott
Hello. Scott. Table for four.
Welcome Scott family. It’ll be just a moment.
Hostess
Photo of Pam Beesley
I use to love coming here. The chicken parm is good. Big part of my childhood. Oh, maybe Michael will start dating that too.

What table should we take? So many to choose from.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Wow.
sees table decorated with a banner and balloons Oh my God!
Photo of Helene
Photo of Michael Scott
What? All I see are boring old tables with no birthday decorations. Oh, wait a second! You mean this one? Wow!
Michael, you did all this?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Not about taking credit. Let’s just say we all did it.
Well, thank you. All of you.
Photo of Helene
Photo of Michael Scott
Well, it was actually me alone, so– wow look at this place. Really makes me want to go to Italy some day.
Oh you’ll love it. You can have my guide books. I think I’m done with those really long plane rides.
Photo of Helene
Photo of Michael Scott
Oh. Thank you. Thanks for lending me the books.
So, mom… which birthday are we celebrating this year?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Helene
laughs Sticking with 49.
49 again? That’s nine years in a row. This is now our longest family tradition.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
That’s funny.
Well, as long as you’re running numbers Pam, then help me out with this one. Let’s see your six months pregnant, but you’ve only been married for 30 days, so what does that add up to?
Photo of Helene
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh, burn. Burn on you… and a little bit on me, too. they laugh
You’re 54 years old.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
No. I’m 58.
You’re 58 years old?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
Uh huh.
Congratulations.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Michael Scott
The only time you should care about a woman’s age is if she is too young for you and I am not robbing the cradle. If anything I am robbing the grave.

Mom, have you decided what you want to be called?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Helene
Oh, well I like Nana, but I also like the classic Grandma.
Please be Grandma.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Definitely Grandma.
I want you to be Grandma.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Helene
Oh, Michael what do you think? Grandma?
nods uncomfortably That–
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Yay, Grandma!

Hey, would you guys ever do a triathlon, do you think?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Maybe.
Helene?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
Oh, oh no. I don’t think so.
I am. I’m definitely going to do it. I’ve already got the run and the bike thing down. Just need to learn how to swim. Come on, you in?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
Oh no, I think a triathlon is pretty much something I can rule out. It just– doesn’t interest me.
So it’s a matter of interest. Good, okay. It’s not anything you would have ever done.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
Hmm… I might have done it when I was younger, but now there’s just other things I’d rather be doing, instead of running and jumping and swimming–
Well there’s no jumping in a triathlon.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
Oh–
You’re thinking of the broad jump. Would you try– bungee jumping?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
No, no… laughs
Snowboarding?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
You want to go snowboarding?
I might.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
Michael, what are you talking about?
sighs Nothing. Just life– and doing things– before you die. I don’t know.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Michael Scott
Do I really want to go snowboarding? No. But I would like to if I wanted to.

singing fanfare Aye-yi-yi! lifts covers off trays of food
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Dwight Schrute
What’s going on in here?
Andy bought lunch.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Oh… no… really?
Yep, yep. Took a page right out of the old Schrute book of niceness.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Dwight Schrute
There is no book. There’s only a survival guide.
You bought breakfast for everyone, so I got lunch for everyone.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay, well, allow me. You know what– gosh these tacos are awfully complicated to make. I will make everyone’s tacos! Gra-ga-ga-ga-ga!

So we should get the check?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
What about your gift Michael?
Oh, no, no, no. No. It’s stupid. You’d hate it. I hate it.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
I’m sure I won’t.
Yes you will.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
He locked himself in his office all morning working on it.
Gimme. Look at this wrapping paper. It’s got the word love on it in every language.
Photo of Helene
Photo of Pam Beesley
Aww–
I literally– I put no thought into the wrapping at all. Might as well of been toilet paper.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
opens present, reads inscription A scrapbook of our first memories by Michael Gary Scott. For my girlfriend Helene on your birthday. laughs

That’s just an arbitrary title.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
Ok, there’s a penny. What’s that from?
Penny for your thoughts.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Helene
It was from the wishing well at the mall. You threw it in. I went back later, waded in and I found it.
Wow.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
That’s amazing.
It’s not amazing… at all. It’s sort of weird that I went and did that. And now your wish won’t come true, so that blows.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
looking through the book A poem!
Oh that I plagiarized I think.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
reading I can not go to school today said little Peggy Ann McKay…
whispers to Pam Shel Silverstein.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Yeah.
Um– I have the measles and the mumps, a gash, a rash and purple bumps. And my teachers really mean– Happy Birthday , I love you Helene.
Photo of Helene
Photo of Pam Beesley
That’s really nice Michael.
I think it sucks.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
I think it’s wonderful, absolutely wonderful.
Well, that’s because you and I have very different tastes and you like lame things. It’s a generational– sort of gap between us.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
hugging book God… it’s a scrapbook.
Home run Michael.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
You set the bar so high.
That was a bunt.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Andy Bernard
Whoa, whoa Dwight. I’m going to do this.
Hey, hey, hey– relax I got it covered.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
No, I insist.
No, no, no, no, no, no, I insist. pushes Andy out of the room and locks the door
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Ok, Dwight this is ridiculous.
Don’t worry about it. You can just owe me.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Pam Beesley
Hey. Where’d you go?
Oh, just went to the bathroom.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
And then you stopped at the bar on the way back?
I got thirsty.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Okay, weirdo. Come on. It’s time for cake.

Honestly, for a long time I thought I was going to grow old with Holly. And then I met Helene. And she is great and she already knows and has done everything that I have ever wanted to do and can tell me about it. But, I think I want to do those things myself.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Pam Beesley
Cakes really good.
Oh, I know. I love how they use butter cream frosting.
Photo of Helene
Photo of Michael Scott
Finish your cake, Helene.
Hmmm?
Photo of Helene
Photo of Michael Scott
I want you to enjoy that cake because I have something terrible I need to tell you. I want you to enjoy your cake before I tell you this terrible, terrible thing.

Helene I think you’re a wonderful person and I– God– I’ve enjoyed dating you and being your boyfriend so much. But I have to consider Pam’s feelings as a friend and a co-worker I can not in good conscience continue to date you, when I know what this is doing to her.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Michael. Michael ,it’s okay.
No it’s not.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
I know that it took me a little while to come around and its still a little weird to get used to, but you obviously make my mom very happy. And that makes me happy.
Wow. That just– you’ve really grown.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Well–
covering eyes Thank you Pam. And I hope you are as gracious during this next part. Helene, once again you are a wonderful person and you have lived a great life and I envy it. And I want it someday, but just in the future. You need somebody who– who understands your references. Who is Kafkaesque? I’ve never– I don’t know him. There’s another woman. And her name is Italy… and skydiving… and bungee jumping.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Okay, so–
And I want kids. And you… unfortunately, have already completed that part of your journey down there.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Michael.
It’s not my decision. It’s mother nature. And mother has very strict rules about fer– waitress comes over to pour water; long pause — tility.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Helene
I, um– I got it.

I’m 58. What am I supposed to do now?
Photo of Helene
Photo of Michael Scott
Well, hobbies–
Stop.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Andy Bernard
reaching for something on the top shelf Ahh.
What’s going on?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Stupid things wedged up there. No one in this office will help me.
Alright, move it.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Andy Bernard
What if Dwight dies and I still owe him something? That is a recipe for a ghost.

Oh yeah, you’re going to owe me big time.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
It’s like a little envelope– there you go.
Got it. looks at envelope To Dwight. Wha– opens envelope Starbucks gift card.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Surprise! laughs It’s from everybody. $15 value.

Dammit. I am no closer to taking Jim down. What a waste of a day. I could of grown poisoned mushrooms that would have been this high by now. bends over and hold hand about 1/2 an inch from the floor They’re mushrooms. They don’t get that high.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Michael Scott
Pamela Beesly Halpert–
What?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
May I have a word with you in my office please?
I am working.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Well, this is a work related matter.
Really?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Yes.
Really?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Yes. Join me please, won’t you? Pam gets up and follows Michael into his office I am going to give you a raise.
Why?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Because of all the good work you’ve done.
I have the lowest sales record of anyone here.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
That’s– no, no– it’s not about numbers, Pam. It’s about attitude.
I have the worst attitude of any person here.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Do you want the raise or what?
Yeah, I’ll take it. turns to leave
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Hey, Pam, Pam– with this raise there are strings attached. Pam sighs And the string is attached from my heart to your mean attitude.
You’re bribing me?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
No! No– no I am not. Unless you want me to. DO you want me to? Cause I will. I will bribe you. No. Your face is saying don’t– unless I haven’t offered you enough… your face isn’t changing. What is it? Talk to me face. Tell me what Pam’s brain is thinking. Come on! What do you want? What do you want? Do you want a million dollars? Do you want to hit me? Want me to get down on one knee and beg you or–
I want to hit you.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
What?
I want to hit you. I’ll do that.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
nervous laughter Oh– okay , what? I don’t– Are you kidding?
No. Are you kidding?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Ye– No. Alright. I’ll take off my jacket and tense my stomach and you can just–
No. I don’t think I can hit you in the office.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Okay.
So, um… we’ll do it after work. In the parking lot. In front of everyone. I’m going to hit you as hard as I can.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Okay.
Okay.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Okay.
See you then.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
See you.

Hey.
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Michael Scott
Hey.
Quick question.
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Yeah.
Are you scared?
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Michael Scott
Never. About what? A little– what are you talking–
We heard about the punch.
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Michael Scott
What punch?
Pam. She’s going to punch the crap out of your face after work.
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Michael Scott
I’m pretty sure we said slap.
No, it’s a punch and Pam has that crazy pregnancy strength now.
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Ryan
I’m getting concerned that you don’t seem to understand what’s going to happen. Do you?
I– mmm– I’m good.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Ryan
alright. See you there.

Hey.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Hey.
Do you and Pam ever get frisky?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Inappropriate.
I mean– do you ever wrestle with each other?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
All the time.
Really?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Yeah.
She strong?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
She wants it bad Michael.
Can you stop this?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
I can.
Okay.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
And I don’t support her choice to hit you.
I don’t either.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
But at the same time she looks crazy and I do understand her reasoning.
Mmm-hmm. I know.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
I just need some time.
You gotta do something–
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
I just need some time. Just give me some time to make a decision.
How much time do you think you’ll need?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
No more than a week. Maybe two weeks.
Come on, man!
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Toby Flenderson
Pam, can I talk to you for a second?
Oh…
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Toby Flenderson
I heard about the hit. Just– make sure it’s off company property, right?
Right.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Okay, I think we should probably be okay.
Okay.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Okay. And– the-the power– comes from the back foot. So its– its all one motion through the– body. So you stay a little low and there’s a twist. You keep your shoulder down and you kind of throw out the arm. demonstrates punch Pow!
stands up; gets into stance Okay wait– it’s– you’re saying it comes from the foot.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Yes.
Okay. punches Toby’s hand
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Yes.
Wow!
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Okay.

Hey everybody, he’s not in the men’s room although the seat was warm so we may have just missed him.
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Photo of Kevin Malone
My money’s on Pam.
It’s not a fight. What other outcome could there be?
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Kevin Malone
Michael could win.
How? He can’t hit back.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Kevin Malone
Why can’t you just agree with me sometimes?

Am I scared of getting hit in the face? No. Everyday weirdo’s pay dominatrix’s hundreds of dollars for that very privilege. I’m scared I’m gonna love it. claps hands Let’s do this.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Michael Scott
It’s okay guys… I can handle this. Everybody can go home.
We’re here for the show, Michael.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Michael Scott
You’re just a bunch of voyeurs. Are you eating popcorn?
It has almost no calories.
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Pam Beesley
Are you ready?
Yes.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
goes to punch Michael; he flinches You have to keep your hands down, Michael.
I know. sighs Okay. Alright. Pam goes to punch him again Oh– God!
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Michael, you have to put your hands down.
Put your hands in your pockets.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Michael Scott
Okay! braces himself Pam, Pam– I’m really sorry. I’m sorry.
What are you sorry for?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
So many things. I don’t know. It’s hard to choose.
How about for dating my mom?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Maybe that–
And dumping her on her birthday.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Yes.
Okay– just– don’t ever date a member of my family again.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Okay. I promise. Pam starts to walk away For the record your mom came on to me. Pam turns around and slaps him; he gasps
Holy crap.
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Pam Beesley
Are you okay?
No!
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
You’re okay.
Feel better?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
No. You were right.
walks with Michael back into the office; Michael is clutching is face and limping Wait, why are you limping?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
I don’t know.
Let’s get some raw meat on that face. I got a chicken in the freezer upstairs.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Michael Scott
As I watched Pam’s big, strong hand coming towards my face I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. And guess what? I have four kids. And I have a hover-car and a hover-house. And my wife is a runner and it shows. And Pam and Jim are my best friends and our kids play together. And I am happy and I am rich and I never die. It doesn’t sound like much, but its enough for me.

Ahh… Dwight is holding a frozen chicken to his face
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Good, good. Keep it on there for another five minutes. Just let the swelling go down.
Oh thank you. Thanks. I owe you one Dwight.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Fire Jim.
No.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
I’m cashing in the favor. Fire him.
What are you talking about–
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Do it. Promote me. Tri-managers.
Forget that.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Can I have an office?
No.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
You know what you can keep your stupid favor. It’s worthless. And this is my dinner on your face. I’m keeping it.
pats face Oh that feels better.
Photo of Michael Scott

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