The Lover - The Office (Season 6, Episode 7)

Jim and Pam return from their honeymoon in Puerto Rico and Michael tells Jim that he has been dating Pam's mother, Helene, after spending the night with her at their wedding in Niagara. Jim is shocked and tells Michael not to mention anything to Pam (which he reluctantly agrees to do) and to break it off with Helene immediately (which he does not agree to). However, when Jim and Pam give Michael a gift from Puerto Rico, Michael asks if Pam thinks he should date who he wants. He then lets it slip he is dating Helene, and Pam storms out of the office and into the parking lot, screaming all the way down. She calls her mother and angrily asks her why she started dating him after continuously complaining to her mother about Michael's behavior over the past several years.

During a conference room meeting, Pam maintains a hostile attitude toward Michael and openly defies him in response to the news. Michael then gets a call from Helene, who wants him to tell Pam to calm down. Pam then announces that he has been dating Helene to the rest of the office. Everyone is initially disgusted by this, but Michael appeals to them with his human need for companionship, and they agree that Pam is overreacting. In response, Pam becomes hostile towards the rest of the office. Michael complains to Toby about Pam's behavior, but when Toby tries to coax Pam into discussing the issue, she becomes angry with Toby as well. Pam brings Michael into the kitchen and orders him to stop dating Helene, and Michael responds by saying he will "start dating her even harder." At the end of the day, Michael feels bad and says goodnight to Pam, without response.

Dwight apologizes to Jim for their feuds, and offers him a token of his desire for peace with a wooden mallard, actually a concealed recording device which he means to use to gather damaging information about Jim. Jim quickly finds the device and starts using it to prank Dwight. He brings Andy into his office and plays "M'Appari" from the opera Martha loudly while he talks to Andy so Dwight will not hear their conversation, while using gestures to make it clear that they are discussing Dwight. He then gives the mallard to Ryan and Kelly in the annex, meaning Dwight can hear the couple's bickering, and is forced to pay $10 to get it back. Jim finally summons Dwight to his office and tells him he knew about the recording device all along. Dwight admits to being jealous of Jim's promotion. Jim tells Dwight to wash his car as punishment, which Dwight agrees is fair. Jim then brings Pam into the conference room and cheers her up by saying Dwight is washing their car out of sympathy for what she has been through and recounting stories from their honeymoon.

At the end of the episode, Dwight reveals that that recording device underneath the mallard was a decoy, and his primary recording device was installed on the tip of a pen that he claimed Jim left on his desk earlier, along with the mallard. Dwight explains he would never put his primary listening device in such an obvious place, as he is "not insane."

Best Funny Quotes From The Office - The Lover

Photo of Erin
They’re back!
Oooh yeah… people chuckle Jim and Pam!
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
How was Puerto Rico? Was it so romantic?
It was.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
It really was.
Really was.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
voice cracks I’m so happy for you…

Puerto Rico was awesome.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh my gosh. The honeymoon was great. We met this other couple at the resort, Frank and Benny. We hung out with them a lot.
goofy voice Frank and Beans. laughs Always makes her laugh.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
goofy voice Frank and beans!

Is there someone there? Who is there? I hear voices, is somebody there?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Yeah!
Is someone there? I can’t see you because I’m blind.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Its Jim and Pam, Michael.
gasps It is?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Yeah…
They’re back? Oh! Oh! Oh, Pam! reaching out with hands at chest level
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Nope.
And oh, Jim…
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Hi, Michael.
Oh, I haven’t see you since my accident that I had when I fell- I fell into the pool of acid, eyes first. Blind guy.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Michael Scott
Blind-guy McSqueezy. How do I describe it? It is a character I’ve been workshopping whose lack of vision gets him into all sorts of trouble. The women in my improve class absolutely hate him. groans

So what’d you bring us?
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Photo of Pam Beesley
Some candy.
What else?
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Photo of Pam Beesley
That’s it.
Oh, ’cause you spent so much on the wedding.
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Photo of Michael Scott
behind Pam, acting out blind-guy, groaning
It’s good to be home.
Photo of Pam Beesley

Photo of Dwight Schrute
This conversation has two items on the agenda.
Do we have a conversation scheduled?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Number one, do not leave your things on my desk. It’s not some kind of personal pen receptacle for you. I don’t care how high they promote you, which brings me to item number two… I never formally congratulated you on your promotion, so I’d just like to say… high voice, holding up wooden mallard con-quack-ulations!
Wow, that’s… really thoughtful of you, Dwight, thank you.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
duck voice You’re welcome! quacks, laughs

I inserted a listening device into the belly of the mallard. Now I can observe Jim, trap Jim, and destroy Jim, just like in the Bavarian fairy tale. Only this time, the mallard skins the toad alive. And of course in this version you lose the whole veiled critique of the Kaiser thing.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Dwight Schrute
I’m sorry to have been bugging you all these years.
It’s a real handsome duck.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Mallard. Okay, I’ll get out of your hair.

Hey!
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Erin
Hi!
Uh, we brought back some Puerto Rican candy.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Erin
Coco Leche! That’s my favorite!
Awesome! I’ll leave it up here so everyone can enjoy it.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Erin
Oh, um, let me just check with Michael first.
laughs I think it’ll be okay.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Erin
laughs I think it will too, but I’ll just check with him, though.
Great.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Erin
Oops, sorry. slides candy back to Pam Oops.

I have recently taken a lover.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Well, that’s great. Congratulations. Who’s the lucky lady?
Pam’s mom.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
What?
Pam’s mom, Helene. Remember from your wedding?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
You’re messing with me.
About what?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
You did not have sex with Pam’s mom.
Oh, big time.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
What kind of car does she drive?
She drives a green camry.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
expletive
And the seats go all the way down. All the way down.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh my God. Michael bangs the table Oh my God.
laughs What?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Okay, never tell Pam, and secondly-
Okay, good, a pact. A pact. Although I may have to break it tonight when Helene and I tell Pam over dinner. You alright?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh my God.
walks in Hey, Jim.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Jim Halpert
Not now, Toby, my God!
Oh, Jesus!
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
Get the hell out of here, idiot.
What did I do?
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Jim Halpert
Okay, as far as dinner tonight, cancel that, and please, for both our sakes, never, ever, ever see her again.
I think you’re underestimating Pam. I think more than anything, she wants me to be happy.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
No, not more than anything.
Okay, I have a good thing with the mom-
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Don’t call her “the mom.”
She’s right on my way home from work.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Then take a different way home, man!
I di- alright, I’ll take surface streets, its- the last thing in the world I would want to do is upset Pam.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Okay, so we’re good.
Yeah.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Michael Scott
Can you change my dinner reservations from four people to two?
Sure. Oh, is it okay if I put out some candy that Pam brought back from Puerto Rico?
Photo of Erin
Photo of Michael Scott
Sure. Thanks for asking.
Pam, we’re all set. Pam places candy on Erin’s desk Yum.
Photo of Erin

Photo of Jim Halpert
Frank and beans!
Frank and beans! both laugh So what’d we decide for Michael, the bottle of rum, or the seashell alarm clock?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
You know what? Can I have the weekend to decide?
Bottle of rum it is. takes package out of bag Alright, shall we?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
You know what, I am really slammed, trying to catch up on everything here and I know that Michael’s slammed too. So, maybe we should do this when things are a little less crazy.
Come on, it’ll take two seconds.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
No, it- high-pitched feedback as Jim starts to leave, feedback changes as he moves, turns over the mallard to see the listening devics, sighs, places mallard back on the desk

unwraps rum gift Oh, wow.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
giggles
That is amazing. I feel like a real Puerto Rican.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Erin
Michael, you’re all set at Botticelli’s. I changed the reservation to two people.
Erin, look. holds up parrot rum bottle
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Erin
Fun!
Yeah.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Wow, Botticelli’s, that sounds like a special occasion.
Yeah, no, it’s nobody.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
laughs I don’t know. I think Michael has a date.
chuckles Hmm… no.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
laughs I think you have a date.
I don’t.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Come on.
Uh, I think we should just drop it… ’cause obviously he doesn’t want to talk about it.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
sighs I don’t deserve this, guys.
Yes, you do.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
No, I don’t.
Just take the parrot.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
long exhale
Okay, back to the old grind.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
I was probably going to break up with her anyway.
Oh, that’s too bad.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Don’t-
Pam, it is very complicated. There are a lot of moving parts here.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Sounds complicated.
It is.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Yeah, but I mean, if you really like this person, then you should see where it goes.
You want me to be happy?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Of course.
Part of the problem is, she is the mother of a close friend of mine.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh.
More than a friend, a co-worker.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh! Gossip, who is it? Who is it? Who is it, Michael? …Who?
It’s okay.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
No, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Nooooo!

That could have gone one of two ways, but I never expected her to get upset.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Pam Beesley
screams out in the parking lot, Michael watches from his office window
to Michael You seem tense. Hey, you want me to give you the chills?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
Okay.
There’s an egg on your head and the yolk is running down, the yolk is running down…
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
sighs Feels good.
There’s a knife in your back and the blood is gushing down…
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
I’m sleeping with Pam’s mom. Sometimes, dinner.
…the blood is gushing down, the blood is gushing down… You know, I really would have appreciated a heads-up that you were into dating mothers. I would have introduced you to mine.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Pam Beesley
outside, on cell phone How could you do this to me? He’s my boss! How many times have I complained about him to you? No, I am not being dramatic, you are being crazy!
singsong voice Who wants a hot chocolate?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Thank you.
sighs Oh, so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift, and I found a recording device in it. Yes. So, I think if I played it just right I can get Dwight to play out the plot of National Treasure.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
You need to be more upset about this. She’s your mother too now. Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott.

Andy, can I talk to you for a second?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Andy Bernard
Sure thing, Tuna Boss.

holding up a sign that reads, “Dwight picked the wrong day to put a wooden mallard in my office”
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Andy Bernard
in Jim’s office How may I be of service to you?
I am gonna need your advice starts playing loud opera music, everyone can hear it, Creed starts crying I was thinking about getting this opera for Dwight’s birthday, what do you think?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Andy Bernard
both look at Dwight, Jim waves This aurea is a joke.
Really?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Andy Bernard
What are you thinking?
I was gonna go with this one.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Andy Bernard
both look at Dwight who is standing right outside the office Let me tell you something, if you respect him at all, you will get him something better.
Andy gets up and leaves the office The Nard Dog… what was that all about?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
I know, right?
What were you talking about in there?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Trust me it would only make you mad. opera continues, Dwight looks at Jim standing outside his office, waves, Jim waves back

in the conference room leading a meeting Due to a certain recent incident, corporate has asked all the branches to come up with ideas as to how we can better communicate with our communities.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Andy Bernard
Is this because of the 60 Minutes segment about working conditions in our Peruvian paper mill?
That was a hit job. If you read the Dunder Mifflin press release it clearly states that they had absolutely nothing to do with that particular cancer cluster. So if there is a lesson to be learned here and I’m not sure that there is, it is that in order to help our communities, we need to put other people’s needs ahead of our own.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Haha! Ha ha ha.
And whoever comes up with the best idea gets a $50 gift certificate to the restaurant of his or her choice. everyone claps and makes comments
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Who wants to help the world one step at a time? Dwight raises his hand Alright, good.
Volunteerism is important. Every weekend I volunteer at the local animal shelter and they need a lot of help down there. Last Sunday I had to put down over 150 pets all by myself.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
Alright, that’s…
Paint a mural of Chicano leaders.
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Photo of Michael Scott
Alright…
I have a way to make Scranton a better place, you could leave it. laughter
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Okay, I’m out of here, pretends to leave see you later guys…
Get out and stay out, bye…
Various
Photo of Michael Scott
Ok, oh no here’s an idea… conservation…
I love it, conservation. Let’s start by conserving our time and stop having these stupid meetings. stands up and cheers No more meetings! No more meetings! No more meetings! No more meetings! Stanley cheers her on in the background
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Anybody else? Who else has an idea?
I have some ideas about conservation…
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Jim Halpert
Yes! Angela! Please…
Michael leaves to answer his phone Can you hold down the fort? on phone Hey boo!
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Angela Martin
Thank you. Sure well first of all I think that we could totally…
on phone What’s it… why are you crying?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Yes! I think we should look into that. If you could just speak up louder…
to Angela Shhhh…
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Angela Martin
Well, for our profit…
to Angela Shhh…
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Michael Scott
on phone No, no, no, I’ll talk to her. I will… No… nobody talks to my baby that way… uh ah… yeah, I’ll let you know how it goes. Alright, by pickle.
Who’s pickle?
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Michael Scott
hangs up phone and walks back into conference room Pamela Morgan Beesly, you need to apologize to your mother right now.
I’m sorry, I was told I had the floor.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Jim Halpert
Yes.
Hold on, hold on, what’s going on?
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Jim Halpert
Nothing… nothing at all… it’s all good!
I’m not apologizing to anyone. Michael owes me an apology.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover?
Don’t call my mother your lover.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Kevin Malone
Yes! That’s what I’m talking about.
That is not okay dude.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Michael Scott
Alright, in my defense…
Disgusting…
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Creed Bratton
She’s messed up man…
Yes! Thank you, welcome to my personal hell!
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Oscar Martinez
You have no sense of boundaries Michael.
Shut up Oscar. Hey, alright, you know what, clearly I’m outnumbered here, but can I just say one thing, please? What is so wrong about me? I’m caring, I’m generous, I’m sensual. Is it really so horrible that I could possibly go out and find happiness.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Phyllis
Good luck Michael, I hope you find what you’re looking for.
Maybe you’re right, who are we to…
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Pam Beesley
Shut up Oscar. What is wrong with all of you, he is sleeping with my mother!
I don’t think there’s a whole lot of sleeping going on.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
Let’s get back to the matter at hand.
Whatever, you know, sleep with my mom, sleep with everybody’s mom…
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
No, no, no… no, no…
Whoa, that’s my mother you’re talking about…
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Michael Scott
I don’t like the tone here… this is a place of business, you are to listen to others, you are to give others respect, and you are to keep your personal issues out of it.
Uhh, huh, ho… oooh my God, you are ridiculous!
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Do not talk to me that way! I am your boss and I may someday be your father, so get out.
You are never going to be my father, you get out!
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
I hope that you are willing to die in this office, because I am…
Me too…
Photo of Pam Beesley

Photo of Pam Beesley
Hey. walks up to Oscar and hands him a report to sign
Hey.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Angela Martin
in a sing-songy voice Pam, how’s your day going?
Pam, just for the record, I think you’re overreacting a little bit, your mom’s old enough to make her own decisions.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh, well, thanks Oscar. I was just wondering how would you feel if Michael was sleeping with your mom?
My mother’s in a wheelchair.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Pam Beesley
Well, he could still… I’m sorry about that… Oh could I just get you to sign this second page.

Dwight listening in his ear piece Ryan, I have to ask you a personal question. Do you think that I should get a Fedora?
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Ryan
Ahh, I don’t think so, no…
Well, I think I’d look really hot in one. Where’d you get your fedora?
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Ryan
I’d rather not say.
I think I’m gonna get the same fedora as you.
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Erin
Hi Dwight!
Dwight storms through the break room listening to Kelly and Ryan in his ear piece Shh!
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Ryan
Ryan and Kelly talking …it should go with the persona you already have.
Well, I think I have that persona.
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Where did you get that mallard?
What the hell is a mallard?
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Dwight Schrute
That!
Oh, Professor Damien D. Duck, Jim gave him to me.
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay, I gave that to him that as a gift, I’m taking that back.
If you take it back, I’ll scream.
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Dwight Schrute
sighs heavily I’ll give you five bucks for it.
Twenty.
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Ten.
Deal. pays Ryan and takes the mallard back
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
to Ryan You’re so cool.
This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas.
Photo of Ryan

Photo of Michael Scott
walks into Toby’s office Hey Toby, could I talk to you for a minute?
Yeah, sure, what’s up?
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
Um, I just wanted to apologize for taking that tone with you earlier that was… uncalled for, I’m sorry.
Um, yeah, ah, ah, that means a lot. Thank you for saying it.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
Can I sit down for a second?
Yeah, er… pull up a chair or sit on the shredder.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
This is gonna sound weird, but I think I may be the victim of a hostile work environment with this whole Pam situation.
Ah, you should probably deal with that outside of the work place.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
She brought it into the work place so I feel like it has to be dealt with here.
Ok, I mean, I could talk to her.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
Really? Would you do that?
Yeah… that’s why they pay me the big bucks. both laugh
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
hugs Toby, who smiles big You’re a good, good guy.
I’m good…
Photo of Toby Flenderson

Photo of Toby Flenderson
You know, I always knew if Michael just took the time to get to know me, we’d become friends.

walks up to Pam’s desk with a binder Hey Pam, could I talk to you for a sec?
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Pam Beesley
Sure, what’s up?
Well, I was hoping that maybe in light of everything that’s happened today, it would be a good idea if today, you, me, and Michael could head into the conference room for some conflict resolution.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Pam Beesley
to Michael What’s the matter, you can’t fight your own battles?
No… that’s…
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Maybe you could just take the rest of the day off… you know…
to Michael Oh, would that make you feel better?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
I don’t… um… I can’t hear your conversation.
You can tell Michael that I’m not leaving.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Toby Flenderson
gets up and puts a hand on Michael’s shoulder Buddy, I think that…
Yeah, yeah, yeah-okay… you’re a jackass. to Pam Hey, hey, you know what? You’re just as stubborn as your mother, when you don’t wanna do something you just don’t do it.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Stanley Hudson
Heh, heh, heh.
Michael, you’re just her rebound!
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
You were right Jim, shoulda listened to you, should never have told her.
to Jim What! You knew?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Barely, I… I don’t have all the facts. Frank and Bean…
Pam storms into break room Okay, do you want me to stop seeing your mom? Is that how we’re gonna get past this? Cause, I will.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Mmmmm, yes!
Well, that is not gonna happen!
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Then why’d you even offer!?
Because I assumed that you want me to be happy because I want you to be happy.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Michael, let me make this very easy for you, I could give a shbeep about your happiness! Stop dating my mother!
You know what? I’m gonna start dating her even harder.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
What’s that supposed to mean?
You know what it means.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jim Halpert
Pam storms out of the break room Hey…
Shut it!
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Yep…

I don’t need to be friends with Pam. I have plenty of female friends. My mom, Pam’s mom, my aunt… although she just blocked me on IM, what’s her face from Quiznos, I see her four times a week.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Jim Halpert
walks into his office and sees the mallard back on his desk Dwight, you brought the mallard back.
Well, I had to, I mean… Kelly was not even…
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
speaking into the mallard and looking a Dwight Hi buddy.
walks into Jim’s office and takes out ear piece I’m sorry.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
A wooden duck?
Mallard. I put it in your office in order to surveil you. I was jealous that you got the promotion over me.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Okay, just to be clear, you’re terrible at this and you are not equipped for espionage…
Oh, I’m equipped… I can…
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Silence.
Don’t tell Michael…
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
I won’t. But, you will wash and buff our car.
Punishment fits the crime, I accept. shakes Jim’s hand and leaves
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Michael Scott
leaving his office with his rum Night everyone. Night Pam, thanks again for the rum.
Night Michael.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Michael Scott
Night Erin.

in the conference room Hey Pam, can I see you for a second? So, Dwight heard you were having a really rough day. So he generously offered to wash our car.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
looking out the window at Dwight washing the car Awww, he did that for me?
Yes, he did. You know what was nice, nights swimming in Bayou bay.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Mmmm.
Michael is seen debating on whether to come back in to the office Remember that older couple whose kids were also named Jim and Pam?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Haha, yeah. Say more nice things.
Well, we went on a Segway tour and we’re awesome at it and Frank and Beans!
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Maybe I’m overreacting.
Yeah… maybe.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
But I don’t think I am.
You’re not, nope. Nope.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Kevin Malone
Ryan is walking out of the office ahead of him Oh… where’d you get that hat?
I’d rather not say.
Photo of Ryan

Photo of Dwight Schrute
walks into Jims office, twists the top of the pen that he placed in Jim’s pen holder which has a bug in it, pushes play Jim’s voice “We have our high quality 28 pound bond, our heavier 38 pound bond, or our…” pauses recording I’ve got eight hours of this. Of course I wanted Jim to find the mallard, make him feel safe. Did you really think I would put my primary listening device in a wooden mallard? I’m not insane. starts the recording again “…65 pound cover stock, which is the heaviest paper that will still feed smoothly through your desktop printer.”

The Office TV Show Footer image