Goodbye Toby - The Office (Season 4, Episode 18/19)

The branch is planning a going-away party for Toby - he's leaving for Costa Rica. Michael, obviously, is delighted that Toby is leaving, but when Angela won't go along with his unreasonable party demands, Phyllis gladly accepts the duty of planning the party. It's a grand send-off with carnival rides and even a band.

The new human resources representative, Holly Flax, doesn't exactly get a warm welcome from Michael. Dwight and Michael plan to haze her on her first day. When she playfully mimics Michael's disdain for Toby, Michael suddenly falls in love with her. With advice from Jim, Michael succeeds in warming up Holly with small talk and jokes, and even has a mild exit interview with Toby. He had originally planned something brutal, but because Holly attends, he takes it easy on Toby. During the interview, Pam helps Toby to get revenge against Michael by making him give up his watch as a going away gift - his original going away gift was a rock that had a note attached saying "Suck it."

Part of Dwight's hazing of Holly is to make her think that Kevin is mentally challenged. She gives special attention to Kevin due to his "disability." Kevin misinterprets her compassion as sexual interest in him.

Pam is going to spend the summer studying graphic design at Pratt Institute in New York City - she got accepted! Meanwhile, Jim calls Ryan about the huge sale that he recently made (at the golf course). Ryan instructs him to "Just enter the sale on the website." before abruptly hanging up. Jim sees the handwriting on the wall that Ryan is going to try to push him out of the company but calls Ryan and leaves a voicemail that will make him think twice about doing that.

Not to soon afterward, Creed and Jim find a video of Ryan being arrested for fraud on YouTube. The ruckus it creates interrupts Toby's exit interview. In an interview, Oscar reveals that Ryan's precious website wasn't doing well, so he double-counted office sales as website sales, fraudulently inflating the firm's figures.

While Kevin is out getting supplies for the party, Michael discovers that Jan has artificially inseminated herself from a sperm bank. She explains that she did this while she was dating Michael, and that Michael isn't the father, but she still wants him to be involved in the pregnancy. Initially indecisive, Michael eventually calls and agrees to attend her Lamaze class which is the next morning.

Jim contributes several hundred dollars to the party-planning fund in order to buy fireworks. He's decided to propose to Pam and during a fireworks show will be the perfect time. Pam notices it and believes Jim is going to propose. Unfortuntely, Andy ruins the moment for Jim by proposing to Angela at the party.

Phyllis returns to the office after the party only to find Angela and Dwight having sex on Angela's desk.

Best Funny Quotes From The Office - Goodbye Toby

Photo of Dwight Schrute
cell phone rings Hello, this is Dwight Schrute. phone keeps ringing Hello?
presses button on headset Hello, this is Dwight.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Hello? Hello?
Yes, we do have that. Hold on one second…
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Jim, what are you doing?
And how many would you like?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Uh, uh, hang that up right now. Ha-
Absolutely. We can get that out to you immediately.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
into Jim’s headset This man is an imposter! Do not do business with him! This is not Dwight Schrute!

Dwight left his cell phone on his desk. So, naturally, I paired it to my headset.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Dwight Schrute
cell phone rings K, fine. I’ll just let it go to voicemail.
presses button on headset Hello, this is Dwight.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Hey, is this Dwight?
Yes it is.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh my goodness, you sound sexy.
Oh, thank you. I’ve been working out.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Woah, woah, woah, Pam!
Have you?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Pam! You are not talking to Dwight right now. You are talking to Jim.
Dwight?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Dwight Schrute
No! waves arms Pam, I’m over here!
I’m confused…
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Disconnect that right now. You give me your earpiece.
Can’t do that. Unsanitary.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Ugh! Okay, you know what? Fine. I will reprogram my phone to go to my office phone. presses buttons on his cell phone Done.
office phone rings at Jim’s desk This is Dwight.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh, and I forwarded his desk phone to mine.

Oh, hello Mater. Good news: I’ve married. Tell Fater. hangs up Such a nice woman.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
slams cell phone on desk Argh! Ahh!!

Today is Toby Flenderson’s last day. I couldn’t sleep last night. I came extra-early. So much energy… There are certain days you know you know you will remember for the rest of your life, and I just have a feeling that today is one of those days.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Toby Flenderson
Morning.
Mornin’. to camera So here we go, just a matter of hours now, until his horribleness has left the building. I’m going to set my watch alarm… And… watch beeps
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Toby Flenderson
Good morning, Kelly.
I can’t believe this is your last day. How do you feel?
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Fine. Good.
I feel weird.
Photo of Kelly Kapoor

Photo of Michael Scott
First thing on the agenda-actually, the only thing on the agenda, is the status of Toby’s going away party.
We have a buttercream cake and a slideshow of Toby.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Michael Scott
Okay.
But so far we only have two pictures of him.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Michael Scott
Okay, well, this will not do. Toby is going away forever, and uh, we need to do something very very special. In some cultures, when somebody leaves, like New Orleans culture, they have a parade and they have a band and people party in the streets…
Do you mean, leaves as in dies? You want us to throw Toby a New Orleans’ funeral?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
If the Devil were to explode, and evil were gone forever, what sort of party would you have?
Michael…
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Michael Scott
Like a beach blowout? Or a toga, toga-
No. You know-no!
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Michael Scott
Toga!
You always do this! We have a nice, modest party planned, and then you come in and demand the world. Let me be clear. There is simply no money for anything other than a cake and to develop a few more slides… although Toby won’t be in them.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Michael Scott
I thought that you might say that. takes off his shoe; hums; takes out cash from shoe

Every year, my sweet, sweet grandmother sends me a check on my birthday for fifty dollars. And lately, she has been sending me, like nine or ten checks a year… uh, as Nana starts to… but, I knew I should be saving it for something, I just didn’t know what I should be saving it for. And then I had an awakening. “Michael, buy a motorcycle.” So I put the money in my shoe, and then I forgot about it until now.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Michael Scott
I want a party that makes me feel like I am flying through the air without this… ugly weight holding me down, you know?… I want an antigravity machine. I saw it in a movie. You drink a potion, and then you just start floating all around.
So how much antigravity potion do you want?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Angela Martin
No! No! You know what? This is not a party-planning committee anymore! And I don’t want your foot money, and I feel uncomfortable participating.
Phyllis, can you do this?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Phyllis
whispers Yes.

Hi, can I help you?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Holly Flax
Hi. Yes, uh, I’m Holly Flax. I was told to ask for a Mr. Flenderson?

As part of my last day I’m training the new Human Resources rep in the ways of the company. Again, the company has allotted for this training-one day.
Photo of Toby Flenderson

Photo of Toby Flenderson
So this is H.R. This is your desk.
I love the view.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Yeah, it’s great, isn’t it?

Hey. kisses Jim on cheek
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Hey… What?
Guess who just got into the Pratt School of Design.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
No way! What did I say? I said that they’d love those sketches. Congratulations!
Oh, thank you! I don’t know why I doubted it, because I’m so clearly awesome!
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Yes! So when do you start?
I don’t know, I didn’t read it carefully, I just saw “congratulations” and I skimmed the list, I saw my name, I came in here to tell you and get a snack.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Wow. Busy morning.
So, you know it means I have to go to New York for three months…
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
It’s not a big deal. I’ll come visit you. And you’ll visit me. It’s only two hours away. It’ll be fine. That part’s gonna suck, but it’ll be great.
Yeah, it sucks, but it’ll be great.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
See how easy that is?
Ohh… they hug; she laughs
Photo of Pam Beesley

Photo of Pam Beesley
I wouldn’t go if things weren’t so solid with Jim. And down the road, if we have a family, I couldn’t go then either. So, the timing’s perfect… And that is the first time I’ve ever used the word “perfect” in here!

Hey, Stanley…
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Stanley Hudson
Hmm?
I want to introduce you to…
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
watching from his office Toby’s replacement. Ugh. Wow.
So what do we know about her?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
Well, we know that Toby thinks she’ll be great. So, strike one, I hate her already.
I hate her too.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
Why do you hate her?
Because she… stinks… with her… ways… and her… head.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
You know, Dwight, sometimes… I don’t know, I think you say things just to agree with me.
Would that be such a bad thing?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
Yeah! It would! Just have a thought. Have an original thought. Although, I will agree that her head is weird. You know what we need to do?
What?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
We need to sell her an elevator pass.
But our, our elevator doesn’t require a pa… gasps
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Michael Scott
Exactly. A little old-fashioned hazing.

Hi. Are there any local companies that rent antigravity machines?
Photo of Phyllis
Woman over speakerphone
Antigravity machines?
That’s right. Yeah.
Photo of Phyllis
Woman over speakerphone
What do they do exactly?
They make you feel lighter…
Photo of Phyllis
Woman over speakerphone
Antigravity… Um… Anti…depressants? I could put you through to someone on that.
Okay.
Photo of Phyllis

Photo of Michael Scott
knock on door Yeah.
Hey Michael.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
Oh, hey, do you still work here?
I’d like to introduce you to my replacement.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
Nah.
Come on.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
No. I think I will pass.
Michael Scott, this is Holly.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Holly Flax
Hi.
Hi. Yeah. Right. Okay, well, they hired a female Toby. Good for the world. Thank you, God, for creating two of you. Here’s how things work here: my job is to make the office fun. Your job is to make the office lame. And we have an eternal struggle, you and I. And only one of us can be the winner. Spoiler alert: I’m gonna win.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Man, someone doesn’t like H.R.
Yeah.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
to Toby What did you do to him?
Nothing.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
T-No. He tortured me… with his awfulness.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I nearly fell asleep when he gave me a tour of the files. Um, well look, I’ll let you get back to work, but I-I really look forward to working with you, Mr. Scott.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Michael Scott
Y-You can-Michael.

Thanks to Toby, I have a very strong prejudice against Human Resources. I believe that the department is a breeding ground for monsters. What I failed to consider though, is that not all monsters are bad. Like E.T. Is Holly our extraterrestrial? Maybe. Or maybe she’s just an awesome woman from this planet.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Creed Bratton
shaking Holly’s hand The pleasure’s all mine.
Oh, thanks. I’m really looking forward to sitting down with you and finding out more about what you do here.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Creed Bratton
Any time.
What do you do here?
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Creed Bratton
…Excuse me.

What is wrong with this woman? She’s asking about stuff that’s nobody’s business. “What do I do?”… Really, what do I do here? I should’ve written it down. “Qua” something, uh… qua… quar… quibo, qual…quir-quabity. Quabity assuance! No. No, no, no, no, but I’m getting close.
Photo of Creed Bratton

Photo of Dwight Schrute
whispering Have you been introduced to Kevin?
No. Which one’s Kevin? they glance over at Kevin subtly, who is stifling a giggle
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Dwight Schrute
He’s here on a special work program. He’s slow, you know, in his brain.
Oh. Good for you guys.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Yeah.

Hazing is a fun way to show a new employee that she is not welcome or liked.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Accounting department, listen up. Holly, Human Resources. Angela, Oscar, and Kevin. accountants mumble hellos
Hello. Hello. to Kevin Hi.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Kevin Malone
Hi.
What do you do?
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Kevin Malone
I do the numbers.
Oh, good for you.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Kevin Malone
Do you want a M&M?
Oh, no, that is so sweet. But thank you though.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Kevin Malone
Yeah. I keep them here at my desk so that everybody doesn’t take them.
Well that is a very safe place for them.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Kevin Malone
Yeah.
Here she is! Holly… You know, if we hung Holly from the ceiling, we’d have to kiss underneath of her. So-I know. Oh, sorry. Question, are you real, or are you a Hollygram?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Oh… laughs along Nice, I’ve never heard that one before actually.
I bet.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
That’s good.
I bet. Are these guys boring your ears off?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
No, no, I…
Oh… What, um, what is your commute like? How long does it take to get in?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Ooh, uh…
You know, I should make you a mix. Do you have a, uh, a CD player?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Um… Y-yeah. Okay.
All right.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Thanks.
Yep.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Great.

Do you like it? It’s a photo of everyone in the office. So you can take it to Costa Rica.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Toby Flenderson
You’re-you’re not in it.
Well I was taking the picture.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Toby Flenderson
I love it. I love it… I would love a picture of the two of us, to also take to Costa Rica.
Sure, do you have a camera here?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Toby Flenderson
No, uh… shouts Does anyone have a camera here? no one answers him No one has a camera here. Uh…
Okay…
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Toby Flenderson
I’m gonna… I’ll go get one. Stay. runs out of the office

on the phone So I just got the fax closing the sale, and uh, it’s big. It is really big.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Ryan
Congratulations!
Thanks.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Ryan
Don’t interrupt.
I just-
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Ryan
Congratulations on doing your job. Did you enter the sale on the website?
No, I didn’t. I just logged it in right here, so…
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Ryan
All right, try to be a team player here, Jim. Log it in the website.
All right, well it already went through, so…
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Ryan
Don’t worry about that. Just re-log it. hangs up
Hello?
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Michael Scott
listening to “Crash Into Me” on his computer Hmm… Jim? Jim comes into his office I am downloading some N3P…
That’s not it.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Music…
Yeah.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
For a CD mix tape…
Close.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
For Holly.
Mmhmm.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
And I’m looking for perfect songs that work on two levels.
What are the two levels?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
The two levels being, uh, “Welcome to Scranton”…
Mmhmm.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
And “I… love you.”
Okay. Let’s start with the “I love you” level.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Hey, what’s the group that was from Scranton that made it big? Was that U2?
Yes. You don’t love Holly.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
I think I do.
But you just met her.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Well, it was love at first sight. Actually, it was-no, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears.
Oh, okay, it doesn’t work like that.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Well, you’re not a romantic.
Actually, I think I am. And I have a little bit of experience in office romance.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Oh really?
Yeah.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Like, with who?
We’ve been through this.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Pam?
Yes, we are still dating. And guess what? I took it slow.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Yeah, you took it too slow.
Well, we’re really happy.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
This thing with Holly feels a lot like love to me.
And that’s really sweet. And you can think that. But you don’t say that out loud, and you definitely don’t say it to her.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
I don’t want her to get away.
I know. Here, Michael, you can court her as you get to know her, you know? I mean, the office is a great place for that. Pam and I, we got to know each other right out there. I mean, the first time we joked around was at my desk. And the first meal we ever had was, in the break room, actually. We were at two separate tables and, I remember that. The first time we kissed even, was right outside, and… Look, all I’m saying is that you can get to know someone really really well, like I did, right here at work.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Jim Halpert
I was thinking… fireworks for the party. What do you think?
Oh boy. I appreciate your help, but I can’t…
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I just meant I wanted to pay to have fireworks at the party.
Why would you do that?
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Jim Halpert
Because I’m gonna miss Toby. Yep, he’s a heck of a guy, and I think we should send him off right. It doesn’t matter. Here ya go. hands her an envelope with money in it
Really?
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Jim Halpert
Well we all want a good party, right?

I’m going to propose tonight. Holy crap!
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Holly Flax
Hey Kevin.
Hi.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Holly Flax
Do you need some help?
I can’t decide what to get.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Holly Flax
Well, what do you like to eat?
Well I like pretzels, but, I really like chips.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Holly Flax
Hmm. Well how much money do you have there? looks at the change in his hand Okay, let’s see… fifty… Oh, this is a button. Okay. Fifty-five, sixty-five, okay, you have seventy-five cents. So, that means you could get anything up in the top row.
Hmm…
Photo of Kevin Malone

Photo of Kevin Malone
I’m totally gonna bang Holly! She is cute, and helpful, and she really seems into me.

on phone, leaving a message Hey, Ryan, it’s Jim. Look man, I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, but you know what? I really don’t care, because you’re trying to get rid of me. And I bet you don’t think I care enough about this job to actually fight back, but you’re wrong, because I do, and I will. So you can keep trying to push me out of this place, but guess what? I’m not going anywhere. hangs up and exhales sharply
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Holly Flax
tool clicking Damn it!
Hello, Holly. Holly is on the floor with her desk chair in pieces Woah, what are you doing? You don’t, uh, you don’t have to do that. I mean, we have already put-together chairs. That’s how we buy them actually.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Oh, I’m trying to adjust the lumbar support on Toby’s chair and… that made this up/down lever thing not work, and then I took the whole chair apart, and that… is the story of me on the floor. It’s pretty good, right? You know, I’m gonna sell the movie rights.
And the sequel, “Woman Stands at Desk and Works.” So, I have no idea how you, he sits on the floor how you sit like that.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Yoga.
as Yoda Sit on floor and put together chair we will. laughs nervously Yo-da. Um…
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
as Yoda Pass curvy metal piece, you will.
So are you in down this weekend? Cause, I’m not-I’m not… I’m not gonna be in town. I’m going out of town.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Ohh, so you can’t make my orgy? Kidding!
Kidding. overdramatically Acting!
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
overdramatically Acting!
overdramatically Acting!
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
laughs Lovitz.
Yeah.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Michael Scott
I did it! exhales
What’d you do?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
I talked to her-Holly. Just pleasantries, nothing, you know… not like, do you want kids or, religion, or what side of the bed do you want. Hey, I can take either side of the bed at this point.
Wow. Okay, so how’d that feel?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
It was hard. I wanted to kiss her.
Oh, I’m so glad you didn’t.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Whew, oh God. inhales Laying a base. Laying a base…
There you go. There’s plenty of base-laying left, right?… Hey. Hey!
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
giddy Yeah…

Hello Angela.
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Angela Martin
Phyllis, you look like you’re gonna have a heart attack.
Can I get a list of your vendors?
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Angela Martin
I shredded it.
Why would you do that?
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Angela Martin
Gosh, I just don’t know. Why do you think?
knocks files off desk Sorry.
Photo of Phyllis

Photo of Toby Flenderson
Michael and Holly are still working on the chair What’d you guys do?
Oh, there he is. Thought you had gone home already. Why don’t you go home, and come back for the party?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Well, we still have to do the exit interview.
Yes we do.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Michael Scott
I’ll let you in on a little secret: I’ve been very much looking forward to this moment. Very, very much. I-I have been steeped in anticipation. Toby has been cruisin’ for a bruisin’ for twelve years, and I am now his cruise director, and my name is Captain Bruisin’.

Michael hands him a present Wow, thanks, Michael, I…
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
Can I just say that, of all the idiots, in all the idiot villages, in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend.
enters conference room Hello.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Michael Scott
Hey! Hi, good to see you.
You too.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Michael Scott
I’m just having a little exit interview.
Yeah, I know, that’s why I’m here.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Michael Scott
Um, no, no, no. This is very boring stuff. Why don’t you take a tour? Have you seen the baler?
No, no, I’ll look at it later. It’s part of my job.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Michael Scott
Okay.
enters conference room Did you need me to take notes?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Hi Pam. Stay.
Okay.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Um… Alright, well then, I will proceed. takes out note cards I just have some questions that I was gonna ask. Um… Who do you think you are?
I’m Toby.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
Yeah. Correct. Um… What gives-what-what gives you the right?
Um, I-I brought the binder. Do you wanna take a little look?
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Michael Scott
Sure. You know what? That sounds good. I’ll take a little look-see.
Here you go.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Michael Scott
Thank you. reads What would you improve about Dunder Mifflin?
This place, um…
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
Well, no no no no no…
I’ve got some ideas, I guess…
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Michael Scott
No no no no no. I’m not asking it. I’m just reading it out loud.
Oh, I’d like to hear the answer.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Well let me see… I would, uh…
hides his face from Holly; whispers to Toby I’ll kill you.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Toby Flenderson
I guess everything’s okay.

I made it this far, right? What’s the point?
Photo of Toby Flenderson

Photo of Pam Beesley
Toby, why don’t you open your present?
Oh, no no no, no, no. No, this-hey, hey, hey, hey, this might not be what I think… that I don’t even know is in there, because there are a lot of presents in my car, and I don’t know which is which…
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Toby Flenderson
unwraps present; present is a rock with a Post-It note rubber-banded to it; reads “Suck on this.”
What the hell is that?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Michael…
That’s… What do you mean, “Michael”? That’s not even my handwriting. exits conference room Hey! What the hell is going on here?! Who thought it would be hysterical to give Toby a rock for his going-away gift?!
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
You did.
No!
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
You made me wrap it. I thought it was over the line. I just- Michael slams conference room door in his face
Okay, you know what that is? You know what that is? That is… a psyche. Psyche. So, that is not my real gift to Toby.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
So what is your gift?
My gift is forthcoming, Pam.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
What is it?
I am going to give Toby…
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
Your watch?
…Yes, I am. That was it. How did you know that?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Pam Beesley
I just knew.
How did you know?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Oh that is so sweet.
Well… That’s my watch.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Thanks, I’m gonna set it to Costa Rica time.
Hey, that’s good.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Creed Bratton
from outside the conference room Hey, it’s the kid! Look, look, look, look, look! Michael, Toby, Holly, and Pam exit the conference room Hey! It’s the temp! Look! everyone is crowded around Jim’s computer
Oh my gosh.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Creed Bratton
It’s the temp! all are watching a YouTube video of Ryan being escorted out of Dunder Mifflin corporate offices by policemen
Is that the police?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Photo of Creed Bratton

Photo of Oscar Martinez
Well this is what happened: uh, Ryan’s big project was the website… which wasn’t doing so well. So Ryan, to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice: once as office sales, once as website sales. Which is what we refer to in the business as “misleading the shareholders.” Another good term is “fraud.” The real crime, I think, was the beard.

still watching video of Ryan Oh my God. Ryan… Oh my God.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Kelly Kapoor
I cannot wait to visit Ryan in prison. I’m gonna wear my hottest track suit, and get my hair done, and then be like, “Hi Ryan.” And then all the other prisoners are gonna be like, “Damn! Ryan, you got a hot ex-girlfriend. Ooh, I would never have treated her so bad when I was outside of prison.”

Would you do me a favor and connect me to Ryan?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
Absolutely. dials and hands Jim receiver
clears throat Right to voicemail. into phone Hey, Ryan, it’s Jim. You know what? Totally disregard that last voicemail, because you obviously have your hands tied. Good luck! hangs up
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Holly Flax
What’s protocol on this?
I normally do nothing, I guess. No, you shouldn’t- Holly knocks on Michael’s door
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Holly Flax
Michael, are you okay?
voice straining I’m just worried about my friend.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Oh, of course you are.
Just, I’m fine. I’m holding it together. I-I have a business to run.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
No, hey.
I’m cool.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Stop. You can let yourself be upset. He’s your friend. You know what I usually find?…

Holly is sweet and simple, like a lady baker. I would not be surprised to find out that she had worked in a bakery before coming here. She has that kind of warmth. I’m pretty sure she’s baked on a professional level.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Kevin Malone
everyone exits the building to find a carnival-themed party in the parking lot Woah! Cool! A bouncy house!
Kevin, take your shoes off first!
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Michael Scott
No antigravity machine, huh?
Sorry, Michael, I don’t think they’re real.
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Michael Scott
Ferris wheel’s pretty cool though.

Wow. Look at our parking lot.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Yeah, who’d have thought? Pam sees fireworks being set up; smiles

Is Jim gonna propose tonight? He is, isn’t he? No, he’s not… Is he?
Photo of Pam Beesley

Photo of Holly Flax
Oh, it was a pretty good company, but I just couldn’t see a future there. They kept hiring from the outside. It was easy to get in but impossible to rise up.
That’s what she… a lot of places are like that.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
I think it’s really cool you hired Kevin.
Thanks.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Dwight Schrute
You have it?
Almost. she unlocks Holly’s car
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay, here we go. Here we go. Mose carries a raccoon in a cage Put it in. he puts the raccoon in the car
I like, uh…
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
That-That’s my car.
Hey. What are you doing?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Mose drops cage and runs Mose!
What the hell is going on here?!
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
N-nothing you need to know the details of.
There is a raccoon in the car, Dwight!
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
N-no there’s not.
Why did you do that?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
It was playful hazing.
No. There is no such thing as playful hazing. Dwight, I want you to look at Holly right now. Everybody, I want you to look at Holly right now, and maybe if you look at her deeply enough, you will see what I see in her. And that is that we are all very lucky to have her here. Holly is the best thing that has happened to this company since World War II. Fifty years, she is the best. to Dwight Take care of that, all right?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Dwight Schrute
It’s not rabid.
Shh…
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Thanks for bringing that up.
Get it out. Come on, get it out. Get it out.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Michael Scott
I’m really sorry.
Michael, thank you so much for saying that. puts a hand on his arm I feel so welcome here.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Michael Scott
Yeah…
I just… Um, excuse me.
Photo of Holly Flax

Photo of Michael Scott
Did you see that! Did you see it? Did you see what… wow-wee! Uh, well, Jan didn’t believe in showing affection, so… sometimes I don’t know how to react when a girl touches me. Oh… I like it! giggles

Hey Mrs. Vance, we’re all out!
Vance Refrigeration guy
Photo of Phyllis
Hey, Kev, I need you to do me a solid and go buy some more barbeque sauce. Kevin nods Okay.

Cool! You drive your own car?
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Kevin Malone
Yup. This is my car. Do you drive your own car?
Yep. Just like you.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Kevin Malone
Okay, bye.
Bye. Kevin, I’m really proud of you.
Photo of Holly Flax

Photo of Michael Scott
on microphone Alright! Let’s hear it for Darryl and his band. applause You know what? Let’s also give a shout-out to Phyllis for this awesome party, huh?
everyone applauds Yay, Phyllis!
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
Probably the best one that we have ever had, right? cheers and applause But the real reason that we are here, is to say goodbye to a guy who we will probably never ever see again. Now, a lot of you know that I am an accomplished songwriter.
Song parody writer.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Michael Scott
I have done things like um, “Beers in Heaven.”
Classic.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Michael Scott
Or, “Total Eclipse of the Fart.”
Not my favorite, but…
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
I like that one.
It’s not my favorite…
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Pam Beesley
I like that one.
I love to sing them, but I am not going to be doing that today. I am going to be doing something I wrote specifically for Toby. to band Do you know, um, “Goodbye Stranger”? Supertramp?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Yeah. music starts
sings It was early morning yesterday… I was up before the dawn… and I really have enjoyed my stay… Toby must be movin’ on.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Pam Beesley
I’m gonna to miss Toby. He has a nice, calming presence in the office.

singing Goodbye Toby, it’s been nice. Hope you find your paradise…
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Pam Beesley
Don’t tell him I said this, but I always thought he was kinda cute.

singing, screaming into the mic Come tomorrow, feel no pain! Feel no pain! Toby! Toby! Tobee-yy! Toby’s goin’ away! See ya! He’s outta here! See ya! He’s outta here! Ohh! Goodbye Toby! Goodbye Toby! Goodbye Toby! Goodbye Tooo-by!
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Holly Flax
Not bad.
Oh, hey. Thanks.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Someday I would love to hear “Beers in Heaven.”
Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, actu-too soon. It’s uh, it’s uh, very sexual. cell phone rings Sorry. Kevin. answers Kevin, where are you? You missed my song, buddy.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Kevin Malone
Yeah, Michael, I’m at Gerrity’s. You have to come down here.
Just pay for it and we’ll reimburse you when you get back.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Kevin Malone
No, I-I brought my money. Michael, there’s something that you need to see.
What is it?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Kevin Malone
Just hurry. hangs up
Is he okay?
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Michael Scott
Yeah. He’s at the supermarket and he needs me.
Yeah well, the party, driving to the supermarket… it’s a big day for him.
Photo of Holly Flax
Photo of Michael Scott
Yeah, that’s true. Don’t move a muscle. I will be back momentarily, all right? Holly freezes; Michael laughs No, you can drink-you can finish your drink and then I’ll-okay, I’ll be back.

Well it was good to see you.
Photo of Jan
Photo of Kevin Malone
It was great to see you, Jan.
Yeah, so…
Photo of Jan
Photo of Michael Scott
O-kay. Hello Jan.
Hello… Michael.
Photo of Jan
Photo of Michael Scott
Wow, Kevin, really? We’re- to Jan Sorry. We’re in the middle of a party. to Kevin Is this why you called me down here?
Yeah, Michael, I just uh…
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Jan
I…
I think you kids have a lot to catch up on.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Michael Scott
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Michael Scott
Thanks, Kevin. Um… Kevin walks away, revealing Jan’s pregnant belly

Wow. I can’t believe it! Look at you! Jan laughs Are you nauseous?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
No.
Do you-do you have cravings? You never touched my Propecea, or my Accutane, did you?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
Uh, no.
Good. Good. Thank God.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
I didn’t…
Cause that’s…
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
… touch that.
Wow, I am so happy. I am so deliriously happy…
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
Why?
Because you’re pregnant, and because it obviously happened when we were together. And, I am very…
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
Yeah, it did…
… proud.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
… happen when…
Um…
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
… we were together. That’s true. And-but, you… are not… uh, you’re not the dad.
You cheated on me… when I specifically asked you not to?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
…Not to. No, I did not. I did not cheat on you. I did not.
Well, okay…
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
Yeah.
So it’s mine, and it’s not somebody else’s, so… I know… the whole toilet seat thing is a myth, so…
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
I went to a sperm bank.
You did?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
Yuh-huh.
When we were going out?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
Uh, yeah.
W-I don’t understand. You always used to be very cautious… I’d wear two condoms.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
I know.
You’d rather have somebody else’s sperm than my sperm?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
No, no no… it’s not just any sperm bank. I mean, it’s really… this is a really, really great place. It’s amazing, actually. I’m gonna bring you the catalogue. You should look through it. It’s… and it’s-in fact, it’s right next to that little breakfast place that you like in the city where you can draw on the tables.
IHop.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
IHop.

If I was 22, and I had lots of time to have lots of children, then sure, let’s let Michael have a shot at one of ’em. But, honestly, I need to make this one count.
Photo of Jan

Photo of Jan
Oh, that’s really good. I feel so much better. I just needed to get all that out onto the table.
I’m glad you told me.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
Look, I don’t know what you’re gonna be doing tomorrow, but I have my Lamaze class in Allentown, and um… you could come. I usually, you know, use a foam noodle instead of a partner…
Um, I’ll… I have to think about it.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Jan
Okay.

My whole life, I have known two things: I love sex, and I want to have kids. And I always thought that those two things would go hand in hand, but now, I think it might be one or the other.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh look, they’re starting. all watch fireworks display; scattered applause and cheers; Darryl’s band plays soft music

to Phyllis Well, I hope you had fun today, because you’re never ever throwing a party again.
Photo of Angela Martin

Photo of Jim Halpert
gets engagement ring from his pocket Hey…
on microphone Can I have your attention please? music stops I was waiting for the right time to do this, and I can’t think of a better time than right now, with the music playing, and all our friends around, and fireworks going off… My parents are here! Andrew and Ellen Bernard. Thank you for sharing in this joyous moment. Miss Angela Martin, will you please join me onstage? Angela shakes her head ‘no’ Okay, then I will come to you, my flower. knocks over Darryl’s keyboard
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Unh! Damn it!
Angela, will you do me the honor… of giving me your tiny hand in marriage? shows her a ring
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Angela Martin
…Okay.
Into the mic, sweetie.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Angela Martin
I said, okay.
She said yes! light applause And the crowd goes wild! Woo! music starts playing; Jim puts his ring back in his pocket and exhales sharply
Photo of Andy Bernard

Photo of Andy Bernard
I’ve been carrying that ring around in my wallet for six years. Because you don’t know when you’re gonna meet the right girl and the moment’s gonna be right. And tonight, with the fireworks, and the music, and everything… it was right.

Can I be your bridesmaid?
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Angela Martin
No.

Well… it’s my own fault.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Andy Bernard
Tuna! hugs Jim; makes small explosion sound I’m engaged!
I know. That’s awesome, man. That’s great.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Andy Bernard
Mr. Andrew Bernard… it’s got a nice ring to it.

Hey. Hey, you know, I just realized uh, I don’t have a picture of the two of us.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Pam Beesley
Oh, yeah, um…
Yeah, could we…
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Pam Beesley
Sure. Meredith, do you mind?
hands Meredith his camera This one right here.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Okay. One two three- takes picture Oh let’s do it again. Pam your smile is weird.
It’s digital, so just take as many as you want.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Meredith Palmer
One, two three- takes picture One, two, three- takes picture

I don’t know, I just, I really thought Jim was gonna propose tonight…
Photo of Pam Beesley

Photo of Holly Flax
Hey there.
Hey.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
So you missed something really big.
Yeah?
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Yeah, Andy proposed to one of your accountants.
Oh, wow.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
I’m not so specific as I can be on my first day, but…
Well, I can see Andy proposing to Angela. I can also see him proposing to Oscar. they chuckle Oh…
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
So… You know, somehow after all those ribs, I’m still really hungry. I don’t know, I was thinking of maybe going off-campus somewhere, getting some dessert, or…
Oh, um, well, you know what? You should go to the Glider Diner. Ask Stanley about that. Practically lives there.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Okay.
I’ll go to the diner with you.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Holly Flax
Oh that would be great.
Yeah, we can go eat pie.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Holly Flax
I love pie.
Me too.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Holly Flax
Okay.
Have a good night.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Holly Flax
Okay. Good night.
Bye.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Holly Flax
Yeah, it was a good day. I mean, first days are always the hardest, right? Well, I should go. Kevin is waiting in the car I gotta buckle him in.

Well this is it. I am here to see you off.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Thanks… Hank is standing next to Michael Really, Michael?
Sorry. Corporate policy.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Toby Flenderson
It’s not.
You might take something.
Photo of Michael Scott
Photo of Hank
I don’t think he’s gonna take anything.
Okay, security guard.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Toby Flenderson
watch that Michael gave him beeps Oh, some kind of… alarm.
Okay.
Photo of Michael Scott

Photo of Michael Scott
on phone, leaving a message Hi, Jan, it’s Michael. I just um, I just want to let you know that I am going to go to your Lamaze class tomorrow. Um, and if there’s any details you need to fill me in on, like… what exactly Lamaze is, that would be great. And I… will see you tomorrow morning. hangs up I am going to be… kind of a daddy.

Party planning’s a real high. Like a runner’s high. gets out of elevator; hears moans and heavy breathing coming from office; opens door and sees Dwight and Angela making out
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Angela Martin
sees Phyllis; gasps Oh my God!
What? turns and sees Phyllis; Phyllis gasps and drops the box in her hands
Photo of Dwight Schrute

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