Job Fair - The Office (Season 4, Episode 17)

Ryan has given Jim a warning about his job performance, so Jim tries to land his biggest client ever by taking the potential client golfing along with Andy and Kevin. Every time Jim tries to get the sale... the client comes up with a reason that he can't switch to Dunder Mifflin. But Jim persists and, after blocking the client from leaving the golf course for 15 minutes, finally lands the account.

Michael, Pam, Oscar and Darryl set up a booth at a local job fair - they're looking for a student for Dunder Mifflin’s summer internship program. While other companies booths are prepared and have materials and products, Michael instructed Pam to bring only a single white piece of Dunder-Mifflin paper.

The fair proves unsuccessful - Michael drives off the only student to stop by their booth because he's not cool enough. As the job fair is winding down, Michael grabs a microphone and makes a speech which causes a teacher to call security and have him removed from the fair.

As they are leaving, Pam goes into a booth for n advertising / graphic design company. She realizes she has a lot to learn and the man working the booth says she will have plenty of opportunities to learn about graphic design in Philadelphia or New York City.

Dwight, left in charge of the office while Michael (and Jim) is away tries desperately to keep everyone working... but alas everyone but Angela sneaks out mid-day.

Best Funny Quotes From The Office - Job Fair

Hey. Ready? Come on, show me excited!

Yes. small fist-pumps from both Pam and Oscar.

Yeah, I’m pretty excited too.

Today I’m heading over to the job fair at Valley View High School, to find some new interns. Want to get some fresh blood. Um, euthanize this place.

Hey, are we doing this thing?

Yup.

Oh my God, Darryl, you look like Barack Obama. Everybody I’m dating Barack Obama!

Why are you dressed like that?

in a dress shirt and tie Like what?

Like you’re applying for a loan.

Maybe he’s going to church. Or court.

Figured I look presentable. looks Michael over You? Michael dressed casually in jeans and sneakers Went a different way.

to Darryl I think you look nice.

Okay, here’s what we’re going to do: I’m going to instruct the kids about management and sales. Oscar will be in charge of accounting. Pam will be eye candy. No… uh, also, because that is your alma mater. Darryl will hire some kids for the warehouse. We don’t have to worry about internships with them, because they definitely ain’t going to college.

What college did you go to Mike?

Let’s go!

Today, I am meeting a potential client on the golf course, because Ryan put me on probation. You remember Ryan, he was the temp here. Yeah. And uh, it is not a good time for me to lose my job. Since I have some pretty big long term plans in my personal life with Pam, that I’d like her parents to be psyched about. So I am about to do something very bold at this job that I’ve never done before. Try.

Mr. Maguire, it’s been a couple of years.

Oh no! No, no-no-no-no! My grandfather would be spinning in his urn, if he knew that I was out here with a Dartmouth boy. You take that shirt off right now or I will take it off for you, sir. I am… totally and completely kidding! they both laugh Andrew Bernard, Cornell ’95.

Oop, got some blisties.

Hit about 1200 balls last night, in preparation for today, so hands are a little tender. shows blisters on both hands It’s actually not funny at all. It’s incredibly painful.

Great!

What are we talking? Skins? Acey Duecy? Bingo bango bongo? Sandies, Barkies? Arnies, Wolf? What?

I’m gonna take this petty cash I got from Oscar, and turn it into next month’s rent.

So many memories in this old gym. Pretending I have PMS so I didn’t have to play volleyball, pretending I have PMS so I didn’t have to play basketball. Those were the days!

Darryl approaches as students throw basketballs A little over the top, don’t you think?

Show them what you brought, Mike.

holds up single sheet of paper Um, that’s all we brought.

This is all we need.

We’ll see.

Yes we will see Oscar, we will see, because a blank sheet of paper equals endless possibilities! Conceptual! All right! We. Are. Open for business! all four of them sit in an empty booth with small Dunder Mifflin sign Hello!

Andy, you’re up, let’s go!

gushing lotion inside his golf gloves Giddy up, let’s do this.

People assume I’m great at golf. But like everybody, I hated golf lessons when I was a kid. So, I used to hang out at the sailing club instead. Got my “knot” on.

swings Dammit!

Guys, do we have to stay all day?

I mean, Michael’s gone, can’t we just go?

Yeah, and I finished my work months ago!

Excuse me, people. It has come to my attention, some of you have forgotten, who is in charge here. When Michael is gone… Jim is in charge. When Jim is gone, Andy and I are in charge. When Andy is gone you answer to me. Okay? Stanley gets up to go Excuse me where do you think you’re going? Oh no, no, no. You’re not leaving. No! Stanley, do not walk out that door! If you walk out that door, so help me, I will – Stanley leaves He left. Last time I checked, the American workday ends at five pm. You will all stay at your desks until that time. Or, you will suffer the consequences.

What consequences?

I will tell on you.

There’s some filing, restocking the supply shelves. Replacing the water jug, which nobody likes to do. Um, we… uh, eat a lot of cake!

laughs Yeah, and uh, you basically learn how an office runs.

Hello. Hi. to Pam Can I talk to you for a sec? Excuse me.

This is Michael, my boss. she points Justin.

Hey, uh, remember what we talked about, in the car on the way up, “only the best and the brightest.”

He’s nice and he seems interested.

He’s totally wrong, Pam. to Justin Hey.

How you doing? Listen, I don’t think that a handsome, funny, smart, funny-looking kid like you, should limit himself. You could do whatever you want to do. You could be a classy janitor, or a cashier with dignity, or a… migraine worker. takes back the info flyer Justin holds Maybe for you, paper should be more of a hobby.

Oh, no problem. looks down And he signed! He put his name on the piece of – okay, that was supposed to be a blank canvas on which to put their hopes and dreams. And he just, made it into a stupid piece of paper. We need another one, immediately.

Yeah, the booth is lame without it.

I only brought the one.

Are you mental?

Michael, do you remember, you specifically told me to only bring one sheet of paper? You said it only takes one sheet to make a difference. And I said, “Are you sure Michael?” And you said “Pam! Pam! Pam!” And then you sneezed in my tea, and then you said, “Don’t worry, it’s just allergies.” Do you remember that?

I… don’t.

Okay. I’ll go look for another one. she leaves

And that. Is why. I need a smart intern.

Hey, so how’s the direct mail business going?

Now are you getting all your paper from PPC? Or-

Absolutely, will do.

So I guess I’ll just… work on my short game.

teen approaches table Hello there.

Well it’s funny that you should ask, because it’s really more than a company…

Dunder Mifflin paper.

Dammit, Oscar!

Yeah, I’m trying to lure these kids into my booth, but uh, kids are very wary about being “lured” these days. Thank you Dateline!

Thank you. hangs up phone, leaves for restroom

Extension 128.

over phone Hiya Pumpkin, it’s Creed.

Say, we’re gonna ditch this bitch. You in?

No.

Are you out? Angela hangs up Pumpkin’s out, let’s go gang! they all make a run for the door, Dwight re-enters room with only Angela left

My old art room. finds a sheet of blank paper Oh, maybe it’s still here! looks for her painting No. No they must have taken it down. Never mind.

answers cell What do you want?

Michael, I know you’re swamped. I just thought you should know that everyone in the office has left, except for Angela and I. Do not worry though, I have taken down their names, and I have docked them a personal day.

Who cares? I’m not there, Jim’s not there, why should they have to be there?

So… what else is up? Michael hangs up Mich-

Thank you! Pam hands him blank paper What, what is this?

A piece of paper.

This isn’t Dunder Mifflin paper. Some sort of Pendleton crap.

Well I think they’ll get the spirit of it.

Pam-Pam-Pam-Pam-PamPamPamPam! We’re dying here. I want you to go back to the office and I want you to get the real stuff. I want you to get ultra white card stock.

Are you serious?

Yes. And don’t call me Shirley.

Okay.

You know, you can just pick it up, take the triple bogey.

Yep. Maguire keeps swinging

Jim’s cellphone rings AH! Come on, Tuna!

Hey, can’t really talk now, what’s up?

Just checking in, how’s it going?

Uh, you know, we’ll see, we’ll see.

I just drove twenty miles round-trip back to the office to get Michael a single sheet of white paper. So, I could have just had them fax it to me, I guess.

Oh, I like you.

Talk to you later?

Yeah. All right. Bye. Kevin sinks putt All right. Sorry, I got to annoy you one more time. What if I bring down shipping costs?

Yeah.

All right, race to the next hole! he runs off to the cart

Ooh! Winner gets ten bucks! Wait -wait for me! Andy!

Shortcut! Shortcut! drives cart off course, it flips over Woah! I fell in the sandtrap!

hums at copier, Angela waiting behind him

All of these jobs? Suck. I would rather live jobless, on a beach somewhere, off the money from a large inheritance, than to have to work in any one of these crap-holes. They suck.

Hey! walks up to Oscar and Darryl tossing basketballs, grabs Oscar’s ball Game over. kicks the ball up to the gymnasium ceiling

singsong Just-in time.

Just-in case. What’s your last name?

This… just in. Justin Polznik! Huh?

Justin is the ugly girl in the movie, who takes off her glasses and she’s hot! And you realize she was always hot, she was just wearing glasses. And that you were the blind one. He’s the most… important thing in my life right now.

I want you to meet my family. Come on. Oscar Martinez. Accountant extraordinaire. This is Justin.

Hey.

This is Darryl Philbin. Isn’t he big? And you already met her, Pam Beesly, office hottie. She will “do” you. laughs No, no. But she has already dated two guys in the office, that we know of, so, this could be number three, you never know?

Excuse me.

Come here. I would never say this to her face, but she is a wonderful person and a gifted artist.

Why, why wouldn’t you say that to her face?

So, what do you think? Think these guys are nice? The guys I didn’t bring are even better. Justin, I’m willing to commit right now. Would you do me the honor, of spending the summer with us, at Dunder Mifflin? I think, I think you are very special.

No, I didn’t. You misconstrued me.

I, uh, hmm.

Why don’t… hey.

trying to pick up a beer bottle with blistered hands, struggles trying to take a drink as everyone watches.

tries to stop a sneeze Ah-choo!

Bless you.

Thank you. Angela turns to look at him.

Okay, Jim, you owe me one-twenty, and Phil, you owe me two-thirty.

Count me in!

All right!

Okay. You had some fun, and uh, I think I paid for it. So let me get my last shot in there. Is there anything you can do for me?

Absolutely.

Right on.

You know it’s a tough thing, seeing a grown man take six shots to get out of a sand trap but, I had to give Phil credit for not quitting. Which is what I told him. I also told him I don’t quit either, and I’d call him every single day until he gave me his business. Which he then did, after …fifteen minutes of me blocking his car. So I am now his paper supplier! And I shot a 102 today, so I’m feeling pretty good.

Hold down the fort, I have to do something. walks up to microphone Excuse me. If you can hear me, I’d like you to look around at all these companies and know that none of them are good enough for you. H&R Block? Come on, I mean I don’t even know what they do. Frank Regan Funeral Home? Too much formaldehyde! The Air Force? Airforce recruiter glares at Michael Air Force is cool. The refreshments? Bush league! You know, that’s not what you want. Dunder- they, well, okay I see security is coming so I just want to say, come to Dunder Mifflin. Dunder Mifflin, a great place to work! Anybody? Show of hands, anybody want to intern at Dunder Mifflin? We do not offer college credit, we cannot give you any sort of pay, but it is a really fun work environment. Anybody? Show of hands? Damn… it. Okay, I’m gonna wrap it up here. Thank you for your time, and drive safe.

Dwight and Angela exiting, he opens door for her Thank you.

You’re welcome.

clink of beer bottles Beers? You closed it?

I closed it!

Yes! Oh! runs into his arms, kisses him Um, congratulations to you, sir. they shake hands business-like

Thank you. Oh, thank you very much. Appreciate it.

Well done.

Thank you. You know what, screw this! pulls Pam into a big smooch

Oooh! Kevin and Andy add suggestive “bow-chicka-wow-wow” vocals

Today I did something stupid. I questioned myself. And I will never do that again. Because I look at somebody like Jim Halpert and I think, that guy can do anything he wants to do. He could do anything, and he chooses to work here, selling paper. Just like me.

standing way too close to Jim and Pam Yeah, kiss her. Kiss her good. Jim and Pam stop kissing

Hi.

I was just wondering, what kind of jobs do you guys have?

Yeah. Can I fill out an application?

I can do that.

I don’t know any of those.

New York or Philadelphia.

All right. Cool, well… thanks.

And uh, I’ll look into those.

New York or Philadelphia.

Okay.

Thanks.