Finale - The Office (Season 9, Episode 24/25)
One year since the documentary has aired, the crew has returned to provide more footage for the DVD bonus features. Dwight and Angela are getting married. Andy, after being humiliated with his
talent show audition tape going viral on the internet, has found a job at his alma mater Cornell University in the Admissions Office. Darryl has helped expand Athlead, now named Athleap, opening
a branch in Austin, Texas. Stanley is enjoying retirement in Florida and Phyllis tries to get Stanley's replacement Malcolm fat on chocolates to make him look like Stanley. After being fired
by Dwight, Kevin bought a bar and Toby started a career as an author in New York City. Nellie has moved to Poland. Creed had faked his death but was then revealed to be a wanted fugitive, so
Dwight replaced him with former employee Devon White. Oscar is preparing to run for a State Senate seat and is now Phillip's godfather. Andy, Darryl, Stanley, Toby, and Nellie return to Scranton
for the wedding as well as a panel for the documentary.
Jim has been appointed best man at the wedding and plans a series of "good surprises" ("Guten Pranken") for Dwight during his bachelor party, which consists of most of the current and former
male employees. At the bachelor party, the group has Dwight fire a bazooka and receive a lap dance from Elizabeth the Stripper, though Dwight thinks she is their waitress and remains
oblivious, to Jim's delight. At the bachelorette party, with the current and former female employees plus Angela's sister Rachael, the group is horrified to see that the stripper
hired for entertainment is Meredith's son Jake; despite this, Meredith helps him with his dance, disgusting everyone else. Angela is kidnapped by Dwight's cousin Mose, as part of
Schrute tradition where he takes her to a bar where Dwight must buy everyone drinks. Upon this, the men visit the bar that Kevin owns, where Dwight, at Jim's insistence to bury the hatchet,
tells Kevin that his firing was not personal but based solely on his job performance, which cheers him up. Mose then leads Dwight and Jim out to his car where Angela is stuck in the
trunk and finally lets her out.
The following day, a panel is held for the office so that audience members can ask them questions. Dunder Mifflin CEO David Wallace states his distaste for the documentary. Pam
is pressed with questions about why she did not allow Jim to follow his dream after he has paid her so many romantic gestures. Jim attempts to disperse the resulting tension. Erin
finally meets her birth parents, who had put her up for adoption.
At the wedding, Kelly arrives with her fiancé Ravi, where Ryan surprises them with a baby, his son, Drake, that his former girlfriend had abandoned with him. Jim tells Dwight
that under Schrute tradition, he is not allowed to be best man as he is younger than him. Jim surprises him with the arrival of Michael Scott, who delivers an emotional
"that's what she said" joke. The wedding proceeds in Schrute tradition with Michael as Dwight's new best man. At the reception, Michael shows Pam pictures of his kids
with Holly Flax, and Pam notes that he is paying for two phones just to hold all the images. Stanley gifts Phyllis a wood carving he made in her image, moving her to
tears, the two admitting they have missed each other. Ryan deliberately gives Drake an allergic reaction so that Ravi, a pediatrician, can attend and Ryan can steal
Kelly away. Kevin tells Ravi that Ryan wanted him to keep Drake so that Ryan can have Kelly and the two can start a new life together. Ravi then gives Kevin the baby
to give to Child Services before leaving, but Nellie, who has still been wanting a child, decides to raise Drake instead.
When Jim and Pam briefly return home, Jim is surprised to find Carol showing their house to another couple. Pam comes clean and admits she has been showing the house
for two months. She wants to repay Jim for all his romantic gestures and says she wants him to go to Athleap in Austin, at which point the couple seeing the house
make an offer. Jim and Pam go to an after party at the warehouse where they inform an elated Darryl of their plans, with Jim being able to rejoin the company with no
change. Pam unveils a new painted mural featuring the history of their branch. A final picture is taken with the employees and the camera crew before the employees go
back up to the office for a final toast. Jim and Pam tell Dwight they are quitting, but Dwight fires them instead so he can give them hefty severance packages, as
a last gesture of friendship. The employees find Creed, who has been living in Ryan's old closet since faking his death, in the office. Creed sings a song on
the guitar for the office before being arrested.
The employees give one last round of interviews before leaving: Kevin states that if you film someone long enough, they will do something stupid. Dwight talks about how
well he has gotten along with his subordinates. Andy wishes for a way to "know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." Oscar notes that you
can make something special out of the ordinary. Erin is astounded that the documentary crew perfectly documented their lives, and asks how cameras work. Darryl
reflects that for all the time he spent wanting to leave work, it feels so hard to leave right now. Creed talks about how humans have the odd ability to make
a place their home, and is then shown being led away by the police. Meredith is glad to have shared her story. Phyllis is glad she can remember everything
everyone did. Jim tearfully talks about seeing his life story of finding love and family, and how despite the often boring and frustrating work, he owes everything he
has to this job. Pam ends the series by stating that "there’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?" Finally, Pam takes her
watercolor of the office building that Michael bought from her in the third-season episode "Business School", followed by stock footage of Michael Scott hanging
the watercolor next to the regional manager's office, which then transitions into the closing shot of the actual Dunder Mifflin Paper Company Scranton Branch Building.
Best Funny Quotes From The Office - Finale
 | The documentary series finished airing ages ago. Why is PBS sending another crew? | |
| We’re getting bonus footage for the DVD. | Camera
Man |
| pff, Nobody buys DVDs anymore. | |
| It’ll be a pledge gift. | Camera
Man |
| PBS. The propaganda wing of Bill and Melinda Gates and viewers like you. | |
| In the past year, I have consolidated the entire Scranton paper market. We regained the white pages, the school district, Lackawanna county. We supply them all. I’m getting married tomorrow afternoon, and in the morning, there’s a mini-reunion. A kind of a "where are they now" panel at a local theatre. It’ll be nice to see everyone again. laughs I haven’t seen Kevin since we let him go. | |
| mimicking trumpet Today marks several important milestones. Stanley, as you know, is retiring. | |
| Yes! Whoo, whoo, whoo! |  |
 | Ah, I’ve been looking forward to this day since I was 18 years old. | |
| Speech! |  |
| No! And our next and most thickly frosted cake is…for…Kevin. | |
| Yes! Wait, why? | |
| Go ahead and just read the frosting. | |
| "Get out." | |
| Uh-huh. | |
| What does that mean? | |
| It’s a colloquial way of saying "you’re fired," Kevin, which you are. | |
| What? Dwight, you can’t do that. |  |
| The cake has spoken Pam. Sorry. | |
| Well if anyone here can make a case for Kevin staying. | |
| Dwight…overlapping objections | All |
| Based…on his merit. | |
| Ooh. |  |
 | Umm…. | |
| I’m…good. | |
| Well, Toby will stop it. Anytime anyone’s ever been fired, Toby’s blocked it, so… | |
| Yeah. Yeah, I don’t think… |  |
| Toby, wait. Wait. Hold that thought. Here’s your cake. squirts frosting on the top Bye, bye Toby. | |
| crying At least I got chocolate. | |
| I bike to work now. Saves on gas, cheaper than a vasectomy and, uh, oh, yeah, it’s good for the environment too. | |
| Pam and I are great. She just recently finished her mural for the Irish cultural center. | |
| to Cici Can you clap! Can you clap for mom? | |
| And Dwight is imitating Japanese business practices for reasons he explained to us in Japanese. | |
| whispering Angela, are you ready for the wedding? | |
 | whispering Yes. My heart is so open, I am so at peace. scoffs Look at Meredith. She’s disgusting. Those feet. They’re like the paws of an orangutan. | |
| I think she looks good. Now that she’s wearing sports bras, we don’t see her boobs as much. | |
| That is all. Have a good morning. | |
| Thank you. | |
| after Angela kisses Dwight What was that for? | |
| laughing To remind you that our wedding’s gonna be wonderful. | |
| Ah. I know. It just feels so empty with so many of the old gang gone. | |
| D, it’s gonna be perfect. The only people that need to be there are you and me. | |
| Oh, and the old man to feed us the cheese that he’s been fermenting since the day of my birth. You keep forgetting about him. | |
| I don’t…I don’t know why. | |
| I brought in some new faces, and one old. I always like Devon. I hired him back after Creed faked his own death in the baler the day after the doc aired. The only person he fooled was Kevin. Then the police showed up. Turns out, Creed was in the band "The Grass Roots" in the 1960’s. During that time, the police say he sold drugs and trafficked in endangered species meat and stole weapons-grade LSD from the military. | |
| Oh, some fudge? |  |
Malcolm | Oh, thanks. I love your fudge. | |
| Thanks. | |
Malcolm | I think I gained a couple of pounds since I got here. | |
| laughing Oh, you can afford it. | |
| After 16 years, it’s strange sitting across from somebody who isn’t Stanley. But…he’ll get there. | |
| Okay, the limo’s gonna be here at five. I need everybody to be ready ‘cause I want to pack in a lot. | |
 | Party time! Whorehouse! | |
| Uh, no. No whorehouse. This is Dwight’s night, okay? | |
| Well, you’re the bestisch mensch. | |
| Dwight has made me his bestisch mensch. Which is Schrute for best man. He’s putting himself entirely in my hands tonight. And I know for over 12 years I’ve done nothing but trick and prank him but tonight…only good surprises. "Guten Pranken". chuckles | |
| Oh hey, Jim. I forgot to mention. Oftentimes, in Hollywood portrayals of bachelor parties, there are accidental murders. That won’t be necessary tonight. | |
| Great, now we got three hours to fill. |  |
| Okay, hold on. Are you sure Mose isn’t going to show up? | |
| Ever since Angela moved in and Mose had to stop sleeping at the foot of my bed, he’s been acting pretty weird about this whole wedding thing. | |
| Mose has been weird? That’s so unlike him. | |
| Yeah, sure, I’ll talk about it. Why not? American’s next A Cappella Sensation aired my audition. And when I started sobbing uncontrollably, apparently that struck a chord with quite a lot of people. Not a very compassionate chord. The clip went viral, as they say |  |
Casey Dean | You can’t just sit here and cry. | |
| Oh, I can so just sit here and cry! | |
| Two million hits in the first week and then the parodies started. One from the Philippines got 12 million hits. And the late night comedy guys had a field day with it. | |
Seth Mayers | Oh, Don’t. Aw, come on, Baby Wawa. Don’t be such a baby. | |
| crying and pouring eye drops in his eyes | Bill Hader |
Seth Mayers | Oh, No. It’s gonna be alright. | |
| pulling multiple tissues out | Bill Hader |
Seth Mayers | It’s gonna be all right. For Weekend Update I’m Seth Meyers. That’s Baby Wawa. Good night. | |
| still crying Bye! | Bill Hader |
| After my clip blew up, I actually got a call from the double rainbow guy and the fat Star Wars kid. Turns out they have a support group. pause Not really my scene. | |
| on the phone Years ago, the senator promised a left turn lane by the Arby’s. So I wanna know where in the name of horsey sauce is it? Well, yeah, you…hold on. | |
Dakota | Hi. I keep seeing this symbol in the accounts from last year. It’s..it’s all over the place. I don’t know what it means. | |
| That’s the reason Kevin got fired. It’s his magic number. He used to use it to balance his accounts. He used to call it a Keleven. He told Dwight, imitating Kevin "A mistake plus Keleven gets you home by seven." He was home by 4:45 that day. | |
 | Oh, I live in Poland now. The Scranton of the E.U. Thank you for flying me out here for the weekend. I’m looking forward to the reunion panel tomorrow. Can’t wait to see everyone. Well, almost everyone. | |
| Hello! laughing Hello! | |
| Oh. | |
| Hi! goes to hug Nellie | |
| No. | |
| Oh. laughs nervously | |
| How did you now my plane had arrived? How long have you been stalking me? | |
| Oh, no, no. no. My plane just got in. From New York. Are you still with Piotr? | |
| No. And I thought I unfriended you. | |
| Anyone can follow a Twitter feed. Wanna share a cab? | |
| alone in cab} After Dwight fired me, I moved to New York to write the great American novel. I have six roommates. Heh. Which are better than friends, you know ‘cause they have to give you one month’s notice before they leave. | |
| Hey-OH! | |
| Andy? | |
| You’re back? | |
| Yeah. | |
| whispering to Phyllis That’s Baby Wawa, right? Oh, my God! | Malcolm |
| Hey man, good to see you. | |
| Thank you. Yeah, | |
| hugging Andy. Andy… | |
| Hey! Aw! A bear hug from my favorite mama grizzly. | |
| Andy, I’ve been worried about you. How are you? | |
| A little warm. | |
| Poor, poor Andy. | |
| struggling Okay. Aw. Thank you Phyllis. | |
 | Hello, hello. | |
| Hey! | |
| Darryl! | |
| Hey! | |
| Hey, what’s up? | |
| Didn’t I just see you at the airport jumping in a limo? | |
| What? Must’ve been another devilishly handsome debonair individual. | |
| Hmm. | |
| Hey, man. How are you doing? I, um…I didn’t call ‘cause I figured you changed the number. | |
| No I didn’t change the number. All good though. Phone never rings. | |
| What? Ooh! | |
| Surprise! | |
| I thought you guys couldn’t come. | |
| Yeah, but then they moved the panel to the same weekend and the Doc crew paid to fly us in. It was kismet. | |
| Kismet? Yeah, right. Pam and I came up with excuses for every other weekend. You remember my two lap band surgeries, right? Neither do I? "Guten Prank" number one. | |
| You ready for tonight? We gonna tear up the town? | |
| Uh, better ask Jim. | |
| And Jim will say nothing. | |
| enters Darryl! Andy! | |
| Hey! Pam! | |
| Hey, Pam! How are you? | |
| We’re fine. Yeah. hugs both Darryl and Andy And I’m sure that you guys are fine too. Because why wouldn’t you be? | |
| Mm-hmm. | |
| Darryl, oh, my gosh. How is Austin? Tell me everything. How’s the merger? I feel like I read about Athlead all the time. | |
| I love it. And it’s Athleap now. And the city is amazing. | |
| Yeah? | |
| Yeah. Yeah, it’s hot. The music is awesome. And the tacos are…for real. | |
| Wow! That sounds incredible. checking cell phone. Oh, guys. Limo’s here. Let’s do this. Change if you need to. | |
| Whoo, whoo, whoo. | |
| Okay, you guys, have fun. You too, Andy. | |
| Yeah! | |
| Aw! | |
| Woah-Oh! Haven’t been in one of these in forever. | |
| They wanted me to go to the bachelorette party with the girls. Really? Such a cliché. I’m a man. So I’m going to the bachelor party with the boys. I just have to remember how I acted before I came out. | |
| WASSUUUUP! laughing | |
| Wait, why are we stopping? Jim, this isn’t on the itinerary. | |
| Get out. | |
| Jim…wha… Come on! What…what are you gonna whack me, Jim? | |
| No, Dwight. You’ll be doing the whacking. | |
| A bazooka. You remembered. | |
| Of course I did. | |
| tearful laugh. Get out of my way. | |
All | OH! all laugh and applaud after Dwight fires the bazooka | |
| Woo! Okay! | |
| Yeah! to camera Guten Prank number two. | |
| Private Room. | |
| Yeah, brosef. | |
| Amazing. | |
| Enjoy, enjoy. | |
| Hey, I know you. Are you gonna sit here and cry? | Guy |
| Okay, man, easy. | |
| Hey, dude, leave him alone. What are you doing? | |
| Jim, it’s fine. He’ll just get you on his cell phone and then that’ll go viral. | |
| That happens a lot? | |
| Yeah, I guess. But things are going well actually. I spoke at Cornell during commencement week. I mean, the seniors invited me as a joke but it was a huge success. | |
| Well, I bet it was a smash. | |
| That’s how I got my new job in the admissions office. | |
| Is that a volunteer program or… | |
| No. It’s a job. Things are going great. | |
| Let’s get a drink in you, huh? | |
| Yes. | |
| Whoo-hoo. Let’s get this party started! | |
| Where’s my angel. |  |
| This is my big sister Rachel. | |
| No, this is my big sister Angela. | |
| laughs We’re very close. We even have our own special language. | |
| speaks in a special language | |
| People love it. | |
| They do. | |
| sighs Man, how long have we been sitting here? | |
| Here we go! | |
| Oh, Thank God. We are famished! | |
| Hey, did somebody order the chef special? | Stripper |
| Right there. | |
| No, we haven’t ordered anything. No one’s even taken our drinks. Uh, what is the chef special? music plays and stripper starts dancing on Dwight | |
Stripper | I bet you boys have a big appetite. | |
| Oh, we do. So we’ll have an onion loaf for the table, please. And tell us about your heartiest soups. | |
Stripper | Mm, I know what you want. I know exactly what you want. | |
| Yes, an onion loaf for the table but that’s not all. Now the chef special sounded good. What is it exactly? | |
Stripper | Ohh, shh. places finger over Dwight’s lips | |
| Okay, what are you doing? Are you giving me a taste of the chef’s special? Tastes like cigarettes. That won’t work. That’s no good. | |
 | Whoo! | |
| What? knock at the door Okay. | |
| Oh, boy. | |
| Oh! | |
Jakey | Heard you guys needed some pipes fixed or cleaned or whatever. | |
| Angela’s special repairman is here. | |
| Wait, what is this? | |
| Shut up. Jakey? | |
| Wait, wait. What? | |
| No, no, no, no. Just do your wok. Pretend mom’s not here. | |
| Uh, that seems inappropriate. | |
| Give the good show, my little entrepreneur. | |
| Take it off. music play. Yeah! Good song choice, Jakey. Stripper’s only as good as his song. | |
| oh, wowee wow. | |
| Okay… | |
| Whoo-hoo…go, Meredith’s stripper son. | |
| Rachel, are you all right? | |
| I don’t know! I don’t know. | |
| Oh geeze. Jakey starts dancing on Angela. Oh, my God! | |
| Be gentle Jakey. Gentle. One second. Just one second. Look. pushes Jakey aside and starts dancing on Angela | |
| Okay, if anything, this is rougher. Stop it Meredith. | |
| Fine. My bad. Go ahead Jakey. | |
| Jakey resumes dancing Uh, no. It’s o…thank you. You know what? You don’t have to…oh no, no, no. No, no, no. It’s okay. | |
| Now, for the last time, I’d like a side salad with balsamic. | |
| Dwight, for the last time, she’s not a waitress. | |
| You’re telling me! | |
| If you want her to leave, just tip her. | |
| What for? We haven’t even gotten bread yet. Does anyone wanna split a twice baked potato? to the dancing stripper Do you have those? Those aren’t deep fried, right? | |
| That was interesting. creaking sound What was that? | |
| It’s just the wind. | |
| Will you lock the door? | |
| Okay. opens door It’s just the wind, see? Nothing. | |
| Alright, see, you don’t have to leave the door wide open. We get it. It’s the wind. Just come and shut…Mose grabs Angela and takes her away OH! My God! | |
| Phyllis! | |
| What’s happening? | |
| Oh, man, never thought I’d say this but I think I ate too much bone marrow. phone rings | |
| Oh, it’s the girls. Hey Pam. What? Angela’s been kidnapped! Phyllis left the door open and some freak came and grabbed her and fled. | |
| Good old Mose. laughing | |
| They think it was Mose. | |
| Oh, great. He’s getting into the spirit of the festivities. Fantastic. He just pulled off a Braut Entfuhrung. | |
| What is that? | |
| A ceremonial bridal kidnapping. He will take the bride and hide her at a local pub and when I find the place, I have to buy everyone drinks. Ah, all right! Oh Mose. | |
| Wait a minute. You said the tradition is for the groom is search for her and it ends at a pub. So how about the last pub you’d ever set foot in in this town? | |
| Right. Which one is that? | |
| Mm, hey driver. Why don’t you take us to 3030 Adams? | |
| Is that Mose? | |
| Yes, it is! I am here for my bride! | |
| Well, first, buy us a drink. |  |
All | If you want your bride, buy us a drink! If you want your bride, buy us a drink. | |
| Very well! Drinks on me! Bartender! Kevin turns around Oh. | |
| Well, well, well, well, well, well. That’s six "wells." Did I get that number right, Dwight? | |
| I heard you bought a bar, Kevin. | |
| Yes. I did. This one. Now get out! | |
| to Mose Why did you pick this place? Mose points to Jim | |
| Ooh. | |
| You? You did this as a prank. My own Bestich Mensch. | |
| Nope, not a prank. I think it’s time for you to bury the hatchet. | |
| Waste of a good hatchet. | |
| Okay, just talk. | |
| Well, w… | |
| I heard you say "well" the first time. | |
| I know Dwight misses Kevin. I saw him make his portrait out of a Wooly Willy. Tomorrow’s his wedding day. You can’t be anything but happy on your wedding day. | |
| It was nothing personal. It’s just that you were terrible at your job. | |
| You’re just saying that to make me feel better. | |
| No really. You were terrible at math and organization, time management, personal hygiene. Your internet searches were so filthy we had to throw our your computer. | |
| Is that all it was? | |
| That’s it. | |
| Come here hugs Dwight | |
| I missed you Kevin. | |
| I missed you! | |
| Ohh. | |
| Guten Prank. | |
| Yes, Mose. Guten Prank number three. | |
| You’ve had your drink. Now where is my bride? | |
| Mose! What..ooh, Mose. Mose opens trunk | |
| What the bleep is your problem you bleep bleep bleep?! | |
| Hey. Hey, is Angela coming or… | |
| No. We can’t see each other on our wedding day. And her legs are still numb from being in the trunk. | |
| Right. | |
| Hey guys. | |
| How’s Florida? | |
| Oh, great. | |
| Yes, I’m living in Florida now. Little town called Florida City, just on the edge of the everglades. The man who delivered my divorce papers came by fan boat which was kinda fun. I sit on my porch all day, carving birds. | |
| Am I the only one that’s nervous? How are you doing with this? Should we have bailed? | |
| No, no, I’m fine. | |
| Doesn’t seem like anyone cares about us anyway. | |
| I guess this was work being filmed nonstop for nine years. | |
| I’m sorry guys. This is probably on me. I got hated on pretty hard when that auto-tune went viral. | |
| watching at his bar People actually dance to this. It’s in my juke box. None of the money goes to Andy though. | |
| laughing Yeah, people hate you. | |
| I’ll go talk to the manager. Maybe we should just go home. walks down the hall | |
Man | Hey! It’s Andy Bernard! | |
| Nard Dog! cheers and claps Ree-De-De-De-Doo! repeats | All |
| Ree-De-De-De-Doo! | |
| How did it feel to see your lives played out on tv? | Man 1 |
 | It’s like seeing a documentary about how your food is made. It’s kinda disgusting. You learn a lot, but I didn’t wanna know any of it. | |
| With today’s modern surveillance technology we are in a constant state of being watched weather it’s our government or the government of other countries a.k.a. Google. You guys are being filmed way more than we ever were. | |
 | Uh, no one recognizes me. But not all my friends call me Plop. So… thanks PBS. | |
| Uh, Jim, that DVD in the last episode was so romantic. And, um, I think we’d all love to know, Pam, what romantic thing did you do to pay Jim back for leaving Athlead? | Woman 1 |
| Well, I mean, How do you pay back someone for something like that? But, uh, I don’t know. I’m working on something. | |
| She pays me back every day just by being my wife so that’s fine. | |
| O-Kay. | |
Woman 2 | All I can say is, if I had Jim, he would have a free pass to do anything. I mean if I lucked into that… he could do anything. Anything. | |
| pause I’m sorry. Is there a question? | |
| Pam, what was in that teapot letter? | Man 2 |
| Oh, um, well, you know, I… I just… I just think I would rather keep that private. You know, if you’d been filmed for nine years of your life, there’d be some things that you just wanna keep to yourself. | |
| I hear ya. What did it say? | Man 2 |
Moderator | We’re gonna move on. Next question please. | |
| Do you find that your life feels pointless now that nobody’s actually filming you anymore? | Man 3 |
| Yes. | |
| I wanna know how everyone felt they were portrayed. Was it accurate? | Woman 3 |
| I got a beef with that. Um, for the first seven years, I was getting my PhD in School Psychology and they didn’t show it. Yes, I was getting hammered but, hey, it was college. | |
| I have a question for Jim and Pam. Everyone watching sees how much you love each other and how you’re soul mates. So, Pam, how could you doubt that when Jim moved to Philadelphia? | Woman 4 |
| Um, you know what, I actually didn’t handle that move, uh, very gracefully. From not communicating to being a little selfish. | |
| Listen, um… I was scared, you know? I loved what I had, and I didn’t want to risk it. And I think that maybe I did doubt him a little too. Which was wrong because he’s shown me time and again. But when the documentary started airing, people on the street told me that I had this fairy-tale romance. But there were a lot of times last year where it did not feel like a fairy tale. But then it got deeper, and it got stronger and now it’s better than a fairy tale. It’s like a long book that you never want to end. And you’re fine with that because you just never, ever wanna leave it. | |
Woman 4 | Like Harry Potter. | |
| Yeah, like Harry Potter. | |
Joan | I have a question for Erin. | |
| Really? | |
Joan | Yes. Um, the thing I found most compelling about the documentary was your search for your birth mother. | |
| Thank you. | |
Joan | So my question is, um, do… don’t you hate her? I mean, I would just imagine that you were so angry at her that you would hate her. | |
| Maybe sometimes. But not like "hate" hate. More just like, "Mom, I hate you!" And then she would say "go to your room, young lady." And I’d stamp my foot and run upstairs and I have a room, which is really cool. And then we’d just have dinner together. But I don’t know. I’d have to meet her. Thanks. | |
| Yes? | |
| Yes? Is there a follow-up question? realizes Mom? they hug | |
Ed Begley | Erin… Same question but about your dad? they hug | |
| Well, this feels like a good place to stop. Let’s thank all of our wonderful panelists for being here on this wonderful panel today. audience claps Next week at the Scranton Cultural Center don’t forget, Irish Step Dancing semifinals. Winning team to Mid-Atlantic. applause and scattering cheers | Moderator |
| Where’s the, uh, basket for gifts? | |
| Okay. | |
 | Jeff Bomondo. I sell ceramic tile out of Newark. | |
| My wife’s name is Kathryn. I can show you my social security card if it helps. | |
| Uck, Look at all this mud. Can you imagine if I had worn my Jimmy Choos? I just saved you 600 bucks mister. |  |
 | Thanks for helping out, sweetie. | |
| Kelly, you’re here. |  |
| Hey, Ryan! | |
| Hey. | |
| Whose baby is this? Oh, are, like, a nanny now? | |
| No, this little guy is mine. | |
| So I was dating this girl, and one day, she went out to get a new charger for her e-cigarette. Never came back. Oldest story in the book. baby squeals | |
| Say "hi", Drake. | |
| Drake is your baby’s name? | |
| Yeah. | |
| That is an amazing name. I’m obsessed with Drake. His last album… it just touched me to pieces. | |
| No Kelly, he’s no named after a hip-hop artist from 2011. It’s Drake, like a mix of Drew and Blake. | |
| Cool. Well, he is so cute. Ravi, check out this cute baby. I’m obsessed with him. Ravi is a pediatrician and some of his patients are total uggos. | |
| They’re called premature, sweetie. It’s good to see you again Ryan. | |
| Let me help you us. | |
| Thanks. knees buckle Oh. Ouch. | |
| Oh, boy. Maybe your heels are too high. | |
| No, my heels aren’t too high. It’s because I spent three hours in a car trunk. Thanks for not locking the door when I asked you to, Phyllis. sighs Sorry Phyllis. You didn’t know. As long as I can get to the altar. | |
| Oh, I’m gonna get you to that altar. You can take that to the bank. | |
| You ready? | |
| chuckles You kidding? I was born ready. mimicking heavy metal guitars | |
| Dwight, Dwight, Dwight. Um… I don’t know how to tell you this, but… we have a little bit of a problem. | |
| Oh, no. What? | |
| The minister just told me that it’s tradition for the Bestish Mensch to be older than the groom. | |
| Oh, come on. I’ve never heard of such a thing. | |
| I haven’t heard of it, obviously. But I’m out because I am significantly younger than you- | |
| Not… significant is a big word… | |
| I think it’s definitely… Well, okay. Either way… | |
| I think you’re only a teeny… | |
| Either way, Dwight… I can’t be there for you. I’m sorry. | |
| Jim. | |
| I just…really wish there was something I could do. looks off | |
| turns around whispering Michael. I can’t believe you came. | |
| That’s what she said. |  |
| Best prank ever. | |
| As it is traditional to the Schrutes, the lovers are standing in their own graves as a reminder that this is the only escape from what they are about to do. | Minister |
| to Joan See, I get what they are trying to do, but why are the graves so shallow? | |
| reading "Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away. For lo, the winter is passed. The rain is over and gone. The time of singing has come and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. Let me see your face. Let me hear your voice for your voice is sweet and your face is comely. " | |
Minister | I now pronounce you man and wife. everyone cheers Release the doves! doves do not move right away | |
| Oh. | |
| That’s not… | |
| Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for coming. Now, please take your hay bales to the reception. They’ll be used for seating. Complimentary hay hooks are placed alone the aisles. Just stab ‘em on in there. | |
| Everybody! | |
| dancing with Pam. They kiss See, now you don’t owe me anything. | |
| Ravi? Ravi? Drake has a bit of a rash. And he’s hot. | |
| Oh, no. | |
| I was wondering could you maybe examine him for a second? | |
| Oh, yeah, you’re not feeling well little guy? Okay, sure. Should we go inside? | |
| Actually, could you go inside? I’m feeling a little dehydrated. I could really use a little break, have some water. | |
| Are you sure you don’t wanna go in? | |
| Ravi, just do it. That baby is burning up. Isn’t this, like what you live for? Just go. Go. | |
| Thank you Ravi. Thank you so much. This is great for me and for Drake. Thank you. | |
| I don’t know, Ryan. Baby Drake didn’t look so good. | |
| He’ll be fine. I let me suck on a strawberry. He’s allergic but he’ll get over it fast. I had to talk to you. | |
| You gave your baby an allergic reaction just to talk to me? they kiss | |
| Michael has so many pictures of his kids he had to get two phones with two numbers and he pays two bills. | |
| with Michael Oh, my gosh, it’s choreographed! | |
| He just so happy to have a family plan. | |
 | Where’d you learn to dance like that? | |
| I don’t know. I’ve just always been really good at dancing. | |
| dancing with Pam sobbing | |
| Is it me? Is it Nellie? | |
| sobbing It’s everything. | |
| dancing with Stanley I missed you. | |
| I missed you too. | |
| Lots of people think that Stanley Hudson’s a mean old grump. laughs But crying would a grump make this? It’s me. It’s me. | |
| I love you. | |
| laughing I love you too. | |
| We’re gonna be together forever. | |
| We’re running off into the sunset. | |
| I finally mastered commitment. | |
| to Oscar What was that stuff? | |
| Hey, has anyone seen Ryan… or Kelly? | |
| Ooh! Yes. Uh, They left together a little while ago. Kelly was hoping that you would keep the baby so they can start a new life together. | |
| Oh, that’s it. Here. hands Drake to Kevin Call child services and report an abandoned baby. We’ll find a better parent than Ryan in no time. | |
| Oh, I don’t know. | |
| Um, Kevin? Oh, I can help you with that. Yeah. I mean, I can find someone who will… who will love that beautiful little boy the way he deserves. | |
| Hey, this is better. hands Drake to Nellie | |
| Yes. It is. Oh yes it is. | |
| If Ryan wants his baby back, please tell him where to fine me. We’ll be somewhere in Europe. looking at Drake Won’t we? | |
| crying I feel like all my kids grew up and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream. | |
| Thank you go much. | |
| Good night. | |
| Good luck. | |
 | Great. It was really fun. | |
| Good evening. | |
| The Doc crew’s throwing a big after party in the warehouse tonight. | |
| Yeah, I heard. It sounds kinda lame. to camera No offense. You going, Toby? | |
| Oh, I don’t know. I might turn in early. | |
| It’s only 6:00. Come on, everybody’s going. | |
| You have to go, Toby. | |
| Yeah, come on, Tobes. | |
| Come on. | |
| Yeah. I’ll stop by. | |
| There he is! | |
| I need to get out of this dress. | |
| I gotta get out of this dress. | |
| Oh, I’m sorry Pam. | Carol Stills |
| What’s going on? | |
| sighs whispering Why are you still here? | |
 | whispering I’m so sorry. They were an hour late. | |
| No, really, what’s going on? | |
| Okay, Okay. Um… so… this past year has been really great, and you’ve been great and I just… I know that you had to make this choice and you had to give something up for me. But I never want you to have to give up anything. I just thought if I could get us an offer then there wouldn’t be anything standing in our way and I could come to you with this big Jim gesture… and show you all at once just how much I love you and how much I really do believe in your future. | |
| Sorry, how long have you been showing the house? | |
| About 2 months | |
| That’s why it’s so clean. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I mean, you were gonna do this without me? | |
| Well, you… you bought the house without telling me, so I thought I could sell it without telling you. | |
| Oh… okay. Where would we go? | |
| Austin? Maybe. | |
| I promise you, you don’t have to do this for me. | |
| I’m doing it for us. | |
| The last… | |
Buyer | Okay. We’ll take it. | |
| to the buyer Hold on a second. to Pam The last few months have meant the world to me and all I care about… | |
| Hold on a second. turning Wait, what did you just say? | |
| We wanna buy your house. | Buyer |
| You wanna do this? | |
| I wanna do this. | |
| You really want to do this? | |
| I really want to do this! | |
| hugging Pam laughing Oh my God! | |
| Hey, Darryl. whispers in his ear | |
| What? All right! | |
| We’re so excited. | |
| Cool. | |
| Oh, that’s for PBS executives only. | Woman |
| I had to pledge $50 to my local PBS station just to get this. | |
| I think your ideas are fantastic, Oscar. I’d love to contribute to your campaign. | |
| Thank you David. | |
| Uh, could I please have your attention? So a year ago, I got my first art commission to paint a mural for Dunder Mifflin and I decided to paint the history of paper…,which was just some trees and stuff. And then someone spray painted a bunch of butts on it and I had to start from the beginning. But it all worked out for the best because I think that I’ve painted the perfect thing which is the history of us. All of us. And this is for you Jim. applause And go ahead! drape drops and everyone cheers | |
| Everyone, Let’s take our picture in front of the mural. Oh, um, I just…I kind of meant just everybody from the office. | |
| taking pictures Very nice. Just a couple dozen more. Smiles, everybody, smiles. All right, that’s great. I got enough. Thank you, everybody. | Photographer |
| whispering to Pam Let’s go outside | |
| Okay. | |
| Okay, I need a drink. | |
| Yeah, we all need a drink. opening Meredith’s drawer What the…there’s only dandelion tea and raisins in here. | |
| Hey, bottom drawer. | |
| Yes! | |
| answering the phone Dunder Mifflin, This is Pam. Oh, I’m sorry. Jim Halpert doesn’t work here anymore. | |
| I didn’t watch the whole documentary. After a few episodes, it was too painful. I kept wanting to scream at Pam. It took me so long to do so many important things. It’s just hard to accept that I spent so many years being less happy than I could have been. Jim was 5 feet from my desk and it took me four years to get to him. It’d be great if people saw this documentary and learned from my mistakes. Not that I’m a tragic person. I’m really happy now. But…it would just…just make my heart soar if someone out there saw this and she said to herself "be strong, trust yourself, love yourself. Conquer your fears. Just go after what you want and act fast, because life just isn’t that long." | |
| If there is one thing that I have learned through this whole experience, it’s that if you film anybody long enough, they’re going to do something stupid. It’s only human natural. | |
| Hey guys. | |
| Hi. | |
| What about the honeymoon? | |
| Oh, the honeymoon can wait till tomorrow. We wanted to hang out with you guys. I mean, when are we all going to be here together again? | |
| Aww, J, P and D. The Three Amigos. Ah, it warms my heart. Hey, what do you say, when I get back from out honeymoon, the three of us have a conference room meeting just for fun? pause What is that meaningful look? | |
| You know what? Maybe we should talk. | |
| Hey, come here. You guys need to see this. | |
| What is it? | |
| on the computer You’re probably sitting there wondering what will be your mark. What will you be known for? It might surprise you to learn… | |
| I finally feel ready. Athlead is growing… | |
| Athleap. | |
| And Jim can jump back in without skipping a beat. We’ll come back to visit. But I think it’s time for us to officially… | |
| No, don’t say it. You’re fired! You’re both fired! | |
| Dwight, come on. Don’t end on a bad note. | |
| Don’t be an idiot. It’s for the severance. The best I can do one month for every year you’ve been here. That’s the max. | |
| Thanks Dwight. | |
| Hey, and if you’re ever in Austin… | |
| Woah. Right. For what, the art? The music? The incredible nightlife? No thank you. But if you’re ever in the area, you’ll always have a place to stay…in my barn. | |
| There it is. | |
| Do I get along with my co-workers? Well, first of all, I don’t have co-workers anymore, I have subordinates. So… have I gotten along with my subordinates? Let’s see. My supplier relations rep, Meredith Palmer, is the only person I know who knows how to properly head bang to Motorhead. Oscar Martinez, my accountant, is now godfather to my son. Angela Schrute, my former accountant is now my wife. My top salesman, Jim Halpert was best man at my wedding and office administrator Pamela Beesley Halpert is my best friend. So…yes. I’d say I have gotten along with my subordinates. | |
| on computer You might feel sorry for me but I actually feel sorry for you. Because you’re about to leave Cornell. So say it with me: all: Oh, I can so just sit here and cry. | |
| Oh, Yes! | |
| You did good. Real good. | |
| Thanks Dad…Darryl. | |
| I spent so much of my time here at Dunder Mifflin thinking about my old pals, my college a cappella group. The weird thing is now, I’m exactly where I wanna be. I got my dream job at Cornell and I’m still just thinking about my old pals. Only now they’re the ones I made here. I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them. pause Someone should write a song about that. | |
| You take something ordinary, like a piece of paper. It’s not much. But if you see it in the right way…And that’s what you did with this documentary. But seriously, you made a nine-year documentary and you couldn’t once show me doing my origami. | |
| walking out of the bathroom discovered by all Uh..ohh! | |
| playing guitar and singing I saw a friend today. It had been a while. And we forgot each others names. But it didn’t matter. ‘Cause deep inside the feeling still remained the same… | |
| Imagine going back and watching a tape of your life. You could see yourself change and make mistakes…and grow up. You could watch yourself fall in love, watch yourself become a husband, become a father. You guys gave that to me. And that’s…an amazing gift. | |
| Hey, Jim, remember flonkerton when you did Office Olympics? It was awesome. | |
| Thanks Phyl. | |
| I still have my medal from that. | |
| Do you even have a mattress? | |
| No, but I still have my medal from that. | |
| Oscar. Oscar. crying I think I’m gay. | |
| Why do you say that? | |
| sniffles It’s just that I’m so emotional. | |
| Yeah, but you’re not gay. You’re not gay. | |
| No, but maybe the reason… | |
| You’re not gay. | |
| still playing and singing And all the faces that I know have that same familiar glow. I think I must have known them somewhere once before. | |
| How did you do it? How did you capture what it was really like? How we felt and how made each other laugh and how we got through the day? How did you do it? Also, how do cameras work? | |
| Everyday when I came into work, all I wanted to do was leave. So why in the world does it feel so hard to leave right now? | |
| It all seems so very arbitrary. I applied for a job at this company because they were hiring. I took a desk at the back because it was empty. But…chuckles no matter how you get there or where you end up, human beings have this miraculous gift to make that place home. standing with two cops Let’s do this. | |
| I just feel lucky that I got a chance to share my crummy story with anyone out there who thinks they’re the only one to take a dump in a paper shredder. You’re not alone sister. Let’s get a beer sometime. | |
| I’m happy that this was all filmed so I can remember everyone and what we did. I worked for a paper company all these years and I never wrote anything down. | |
| I sold paper at this company for 12 years. My job was to speak to clients on the phone about quantities and types of copier paper. Even if I didn’t love every minute of it, everything I have, I owe to this job. This stupid…wonderful…boring…amazing job. | |
| I thought it was weird when you picked us to make a documentary. But all in all…I think an ordinary paper company like Dunder Mifflin was a great subject for a documentary. There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point? | |