Jury Duty - The Office (Season 8, Episode 13)

Jim returns from jury duty and learns that, in his week-long absence, his co-workers were forced to pick up the slack his prolonged and unanticipated absence created. Jim reveals to the camera that, while he was called for duty, he was dismissed at noon on the first day and headed home to Pam and their two children; he saw that Pam was overwhelmed and took the rest of the week off to help take care of their children. He finds that his co-workers suffered various inconveniences covering for him, making him feel guilty. To appease his interested co-workers, Jim fabricates numerous details of his jury duty, and Dwight becomes suspicious when Jim mistakenly refers to a food truck franchise Toby ate at during his jury duty as a "restaurant". After finding a small inconsistency in Jim's story, Dwight accuses Jim of lying about jury duty and extracts from Andy a promise to fire Jim if he proves he is correct.

Ashamed, Jim privately admits the truth to Andy, who insists that they keep the matter a secret so that he will not be held to his promise. However, Dwight increases his attempts to prove Jim's guilt, and Jim finally decides to defy Andy's orders and tell his co-workers the truth rather than wait for Dwight to inevitably expose him. While this angers most of the employees, Dwight is thrilled at the confession and demands that Andy keep his promise to fire Jim. Andy refuses, so Dwight tries to contact Gabe. To smooth things over, Jim and Pam bring in their children, Cece and Phillip, and present pictures that Cece drew for the co-workers. It becomes clear that Jim and Pam drew the pictures themselves, but before the members of the office can berate the couple, the children begin crying loudly, creating a cacophony that Jim and Pam struggle to control, forcing them to take the children back to the car. Realizing the stress that having young kids causes, the office workers ultimately forgive Jim for his behavior and allow him to leave early to help Pam.

Angela and her husband, state senator Robert, welcome their new baby, also named Phillip. Oscar, Kevin, Erin, and Gabe all visit Angela at the hospital. According to Angela, the baby was born prematurely, but due to the size, Oscar deduces that Angela lied about the date of conception. Angela admits that the baby was conceived before her wedding, and makes Oscar promise not to tell anyone. Suspecting that Dwight is the real father, Oscar breaks his promise and tells him when he arrives at the hospital in search of Gabe. Dwight barges in on Angela and her husband and begins thoroughly examining the child. When the senator leaves, Dwight confronts Angela about the child, claiming that it is his. She refutes his claim, but Dwight leaves satisfied, telling the attending nurse to call off the baby's circumcision, which the nonplussed nurse refuses to do. Upon returning to Dunder Mifflin he drops his dispute with Jim, since his self-assumed fatherhood has given him a new appreciation for the duties of parenthood. The episode ends with Dwight putting a decal on his car, in honor of his covert new family member.

Best Funny Quotes From The Office - Jury Duty

Val, I need the space.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Val
All right guys, clear out.
Everybody out.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Val
Promise me you’re going to clean up.
I can’t promise what I’m going to do or not do.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Val
Promise me that-
Obviously I’m going to clean up.
Photo of Andy Bernard

Photo of Andy Bernard
Stress is like the uptight mayor or a town who’s saying, “Hey, we’re uptight, you can’t dance,” and then you have to be like, “Oh yeah, Mayor Stress? Well watch this!” And then… we dance. Oh how we dance. dances to Kenny Loggin’s Footloose Sex also works.

Hey! Jim’s back from jury duty.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Andy Bernard
Hey! Tuna! He’s back.
Hey.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Andy Bernard
Oh, look at this. hugs Jim Tuna wrap.
Okay.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Andy Bernard
grabs Jim’s wrist Hand roll.
Yeah.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Phyllis
How was jury duty?
It was pretty uneventful, actually.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Can’t believe they let someone like you serve on a jury. Makes me question the whole judicial system.
What was the case?
Photo of Erin
Photo of Jim Halpert
Uh, hit and run.
Ooh, “the case of the hit and run,” that’s exciting.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Phyllis
Did you send him to the slammer?
Nope. Not guilty.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Of course you found him not guilty. mocking voice “Oh, he apologized and I just really want him to like me, mm.”
We’re best friends, actually. We’re going wine-tasting next weekend, if you want to come.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Not coming, have plans.
Okay.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Jim Halpert
I did get called in to jury duty. And they released me around noon, so, didn’t think it was worth it to come back to work for a half day. And then the next morning Pam was a little overwhelmed with the kids so I took an extra day to help out. And then three other days happened.

Ah! Angela had the baby!
Photo of Erin
Photo of Kevin Malone
Is it black? ‘Cause that would be hilarious.
Why?
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Kevin Malone
You know.
Would it be more hilarious than Angela having a Chinese baby?
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Kevin Malone
A little bit, yeah. Right guys? Back me up.
Eh, a little bit.
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Kevin Malone
Oh, did I win the pool?
Ah, no. Right month, wrong year.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Well no one won the pool. Angela wasn’t due for another month.
We should all go to the hospital and visit her.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Phyllis
Oh, I’d love to but, um-
Aw man, I would but I can’t miss any more work.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Well Kevin and I have to go, Accounting is its own little family.
Yeah, Oscar’s the dad, I’m Oscar’s dad and Angela’s my mom.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Gabe
Everyone, our very own Angela-
We all got the email, some of us are going to go visit.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Gabe
Oh, I am so in.

I love maternity wards. It’s the perfect blend of love and horror. Things can go so wrong or so right.
Photo of Gabe

Photo of Andy Bernard
Come on, Judge Judy, tell us your case. What were the deets?
Mine was actually a pretty boring case, so-
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Meredith Palmer
How could it be boring? You were there for five days. Titillate us.
Yeah, you owe us. I had to stay until six twice to cover for you. My wife got to the TV first, had to sit through damn Rizzoli and damn Isles.
Photo of Stanley Hudson
Photo of Phyllis
Yeah, my car got smashed visiting one of your clients and I had to have it detailed and they took my meter change.
Wow, I’m really sorry.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Phyllis
Yeah.

I never considered that my week off would make everyone else’s job harder. The least I could do is give them a good story.
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Jim Halpert
demonstrating with napkin holder and salt shaker So Phyllis, he was here, and then the car came and did- he was like that. Yeah, so it had to be a double backflip, actually.
You know, when I was on j-duty, uh, Strangler case, we used to recreate the various stranglings with empanadas from- at Ernesto’s.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh man, Ernesto’s. That was our favorite restaurant too.
You mean food truck. Ernesto’s was a food truck.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Photo of Meredith Palmer
Toby, shut your hole about the empanadas. Nobody cares about the empanadas.

I was in Los Angeles last year. Jim tricked me into thinking I’d won a walk-on part on NCIS, but that’s not important. While I was being kicked off the lot, I saw food trucks everywhere. Everyone in Los Angeles eats from them. And nobody calls them restaurants.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Oscar Martinez
whispering Guys, I don’t know how many of you have seen- Gabe? Bring it in. I don’t know how many of you have seen a premature baby before. It’s going to be really tiny, so please don’t say anything offensive.
Got that, bimbo?
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Erin
Got it, bimbo. Oscar knocks at the door
Yes?
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Knock, knock. Oh!
Hi!
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Angela Martin
Oh… I don’t- I don’t want any- what are you guys doing here?
We wanted to say hi to the newest little Dunder Mifflinite.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Senator Lipton
Well, meet our not-so-little bundle of joy, Philip Halsted Lipton.
Phillip is so fat.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Kevin!
You warned me not to say anything if it was tiny, Oscar. But you didn’t prepare me for a big, giant, fat baby.
Photo of Kevin Malone
Photo of Angela Martin
Hey.
Yes, he’s substantial.
Photo of Senator Lipton
Photo of Erin
He’s more than substantial. He’s a monster.

So this whole hit and run thing, there’s just one part I can’t figure out. You said it was at a four-way stop…
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Mm-hmm.
And the victim rode his bicycle into the left hand turn lane but the perp was already in the left-hand turn lane?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Mm-hmm.
See, that’s what I’m having trouble with, because the fact is, you never said he was on a bicycle. villainous laugh Busted, Halpert!
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
Okay, wait, wait.
Yes! Andy, get out here.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Jim Halpert
No. I never said he was on a bicycle. I just said I wasn’t listening to you.
I am making a citizen’s arrest. You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to beg for mercy. You have the right to request judgment by combat. Dwight’s rights.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
What’s up, gangstas?
Jim was lying about jury duty. He was lying the whole time so he could go do yoga or go canoeing. I don’t know what this pervert likes. Fire him!
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Dwight, not everything is a conspiracy theory.
I have Jim on the record saying that the vic-
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
No. Dwight! I have me on the record, saying to you, take a chill pill.
I don’t- I don’t need to take a chill pill.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Here, right there. mimes giving Dwight a pill and a glass Down the hatch.
I really don’t want to take the chill pill. mimes taking pill
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Attaboy. Good. Now, chill.
Okay, okay. sits, exhales But let’s just say that Jim was lying about jury duty. You would have to fire him, right?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Yeah, sure, of course. I’d fire him to Timbuktu. Jim laughs nervously
That’s good enough for me. exhales again
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Jim Halpert
…and Pam was just going crazy, trying to take care of Philip because Cece has been out of control recently, and- look, Andy, it doesn’t matter. The truth is, I just feel terrible lying to you.
I feel terrible getting lied to. No one’s ever lied to me before.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Jim Halpert
Okay. I think the best thing to do right now is just come clean and tell everybody the truth.
No, not after what I told Dwight about firing you. No. Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to have ourselves a good old-fashioned cover-up. Have you ever heard of a Connecticut cover-up?
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Jim Halpert
No.
Do you know why you never heard of it?
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Jim Halpert
No.
Covered it up.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Jim Halpert
Are you sure you can keep this under wraps?
They used to call me King Tut because I’m so good at keeping things under wraps.
Photo of Andy Bernard

Photo of Andy Bernard
My nickname was actually King Butt, because I had a king-size butt.

pulls food truck up to where Dwight and Nate are standing Where you want I park?
Ernesto

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay, everybody, gather ’round. Got a real special surprise for you. indicates Ernesto and assistant who are carrying empanadas
Ernesto!
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Ernesto
Hola Toby! mimes choking
Yeah, hey.
Photo of Toby Flenderson
Ernesto
Como esta? speaks Spanish
Uh, I’m going to say “I” when I’m talking for Ernesto, so instead of “he says blah, blah, blah,” I’m going to say “I say, blah, blah, blah,” but that’s for him. Anyway, it was something like, “He remembers Toby.” makes face “I remember Toby.”
Photo of Nate
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Okay- oh, Jim. Hey, this guy look familiar?
Uh-
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Toby Flenderson
It’s the empanada guy.
The empanada guy!
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
No, Toby! bleep Damn it, Toby! No, I wasn’t asking you. sighs Ask him if he remembers Jim. Nate asks Ernesto a question in Spanish
No.
Ernesto
Photo of Nate
He says, “No.”
He says, “No!” Boom!
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Yeah but who remembers all their customers? I mean, I can name like three of our clients.
Okay, he remembers Toby, the most forgettable man in the known world. Ernesto says something in Spanish
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Nate
Ah, he doesn’t want any trouble, he sees lots of people, they come from all around to eat his delicious meat pockets.
Uh, you guys are going to love these. So, empanadas on me. You guys gotta try them.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Creed Bratton
Usually I’m a burrito guy, but if you won’t tell, I won’t. Wink, wink.
Great. And while we’re enjoying these delicious empanadas, Jim, why don’t you tell us your story again?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Why? Everybody’s heard it.
Walk us through it. What time would you get there every morning?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Hey, Murder She Wrote. How about we drop the whole ‘Murder, She Wrote’ thing, okay? Jim was at the courthouse for jury duty every morning. How do I know? Because I drove him there.
Why?
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Andy Bernard
Why? Why? looks at Jim
Because my car broke down.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Andy Bernard
His car broke down. So he called me, ’cause I live near the courthouse.
Wait, wait. You live by the courthouse. So you drove from near the courthouse, out to Jim’s house, and then back to the courthouse?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Thirty minutes out, thirty minutes back, easy hour. And I would watch that cute little tushie scurry up those courthouse stairs every morning and that was that.
to Ernesto I’m sorry, do you have any American Mexican food?
Photo of Phyllis

Photo of Andy Bernard
We’re getting buried out there. What was that stuff about the car breaking down?
Well, I think you handled it pretty well.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Andy Bernard
I’m not Rumpelstiltskin, Jim. I can’t keep spinning gold out of your bleep.
Okay, listen, all right? Dwight’s on to us, he’s going to figure it out really soon, so let’s just get ahead of it, let’s tell the truth.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Andy Bernard
sighs I don’t even know what the truth is anymore.

Wow, it’s so… healthy.
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Kevin Malone
I’m going to call him Little Kevin.
No, you will not.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Erin
Is he really five pounds?
Mm-hmm.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Erin
Because I squat with five pounds. This- squats, grunts yeah, this feels like more than that.
No, no, no, he’s nine pounds, seven ounces.
Photo of Senator Lipton
Photo of Angela Martin
Nine pounds? Really? I thought you said five. You know what? I was under so many drugs, I felt like I was at a James Taylor concert or something, oh. So, what did you bring?
Oh yeah, I don’t know if it’s right, but-
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Photo of Senator Lipton
Well, if it’s anything like that gorgeous wrapping paper, you hit it out of the park.
Aw, preemie pajamas!
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Again, it may not be the right size. I can return-
No, I think he came early just so he could wear these. Thank you.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Kevin Malone
I got Little Kevin Call of Duty.

This baby is clearly not premature. They’re lying about the date it was conceived. It’s very interesting. And her husband’s gay. I don’t even know which thread to follow.
Photo of Oscar Martinez

Photo of Jim Halpert
Uh, excuse me, can I have everyone’s attention for a second? First off, I just want to say that I’m really sorry, I didn’t know that my absence last week would have been a burden on any of you, because, though I did have jury duty last week, they did dismiss me early on Monday. And I think you’re going to find this pretty hilarious. I kind of, uh, well, maybe took the week off.
What?
Photo of Stanley Hudson
Photo of Jim Halpert
Funny? No? Nobody laughing?
laughs You’re screwed! Oh, it’s happening. It’s really happening.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Stanley Hudson
What the hell, Jim? I covered for your bony butt.
Pam really needed some help with the kids, so, I promise my intentions were good.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Your clients. They’re all mine.
Jim, I got my ass chewed out because one of your orders got messed up. And Andy, you said you drove him to the courthouse.
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
Photo of Andy Bernard
Uh, I did, every morning. And if I didn’t, then I hope I die.
All right, well. Let’s get this show on the road, shall we? Allow me to give you a hand. puts Jim’s things in a box Here we are. So long, clump-mate. I’m going to miss you. Truth be told, I never thought that this was how it was going to end. I always thought that I was going to defeat you somehow. But you’ve defeated yourself. laughs
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
Dwight, cut it out. I’m not firing Jim.
No, no, no. You said- you said that you were-
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Andy Bernard
I know what I said. Jim, you’re in deep doo-doo. Do you understand? I have one thing to say to you, and I’m going to say it in front of this whole office. Look me in the eye. gives Jim a limp slap
That’s it? This is crap! dumps the box on Jim’s desk and leaves
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Gabe
on voicemail You’ve reached Gabe Lewis, I’m currently indisposed. Leave me a message. Ciao. beep
Gabe, it’s Dwight again. Highest priority, triple-urgent. Call me. Immediately. That means ASAP.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Dwight Schrute
I’m gonna find Gabe, tell him what Jim did and let the little stickler do what he does best: stickle.

Shh.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Honestly, I can return this for a larger size.
It’s fine. Pajamas aren’t supposed to be baggy, right? It’s not the barrio.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
The only premature baby in this room is the baby this baby ate.
Ah!
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Kevin Malone
giggles Little Kevin.
Really?
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Angela.
Fine, God. Philip was conceived nine months ago.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
I knew that, I knew it.
The senator and I wanted to wait, but we had just seen Thor and there was way too much wine in my chicken piccata.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Chicken marsala.
Right. Um, point is, Philip was conceived out of wedlock.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Mm-hmm.
And now you all know, but you can never tell. I’m serious.
Photo of Angela Martin

Photo of Oscar Martinez
Dwight. Hey.
Oh, hey. Have you seen Gabe?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Oscar Martinez
He went to the car or something, but he’ll be back.
Okay. sits
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Don’t you want to see the baby?
Psh! Why? I know what Angela and the senator look like. I can mash that up in my head right now.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Oscar Martinez
I promised I wouldn’t tell.
So don’t.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Oscar Martinez
Angela got pregnant before the wedding.
What?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Oscar Martinez
She got pregnant before the wedding.
How long before?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Oscar Martinez
A month. Dwight leaves, Oscar calls after him You didn’t hear it from me!
Yes I did.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Angela Martin
Dwight?
Dwight.
Photo of Senator Lipton
Photo of Dwight Schrute
I want to see the baby.
Oh, Angela will make you cut your fingernails. It’s not worth it.
Photo of Erin
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Oh, yes. Oh, what a beautiful child. Prominent forehead, short arms, tiny nose. You will lead millions… whispers willingly, or as slaves.

That baby is a Schrute. And unless somebody taught Mose sex, that baby is mine.
Photo of Dwight Schrute

Photo of Angela Martin
He’s hungry.
Oh, that’s my cue to leave.
Photo of Senator Lipton
Photo of Angela Martin
No, you don’t have to. I’m going to wear this cover.
Still. Still.
Photo of Senator Lipton
Photo of Angela Martin
You won’t see-

to Cece You want a giraffe?
Photo of Jim Halpert

Photo of Jim Halpert
Yes, I am brining my kids in to help me get out of this hole. And you all remember my beautiful wife, Pam.
Hi. Wow, I really thought I’d be more excited to be here.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Whoa, whoa, whoa, game face, baby, game face.
Oh right, okay. Hey Stanley, it’s great to see you!
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Whoa, no, no. That’s overdoing it, I think.
Oh, hi Stanley.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Split the difference?
Jim.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Okay, let’s go.

Hey.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Erin
Hi.
Hi everybody!
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
What?
Hi.
All
Photo of Pam Beesley
How about a little visit?
Wow, what a surprise. That’s crazy. You guys get to meet the little heck-raisers.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Creed Bratton
Hey, Angela’s back with her baby.
Yes, well, you guys all know Cece, but we wanted to introduce you to baby Philip.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Andy Bernard
Aw! You guys. He’s licking on my finger, just like my cat does.
Let me have a turn.
Photo of Creed Bratton
Photo of Pam Beesley
No, it’s the pacifier’s turn.
All right.
Photo of Creed Bratton
Photo of Jim Halpert
Did you say something about this one bringing in something for these people?
gasps Yes! Cece wanted to thank everybody for letting her daddy stay home with her all last week and play, so she brought you a little treat.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Phyllis
Cookies?
No, but that would’ve been a really good idea.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
That was a great idea.
No, she brought you drawings.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh my goodness, let’s take a look at these. They’re usually amazing, so let’s see. Yup, they are. Uncle Andy.
Oh!
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh, Aunt Phyllis.
Oh.
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Andy Bernard
Wow, these are incredible. Cece, did you do these?
No.
Cece
Photo of Pam Beesley
She says “no” to everything. You know, she thinks my name is “No.” Cece, do you want some broccoli?
Yes.
Cece
Photo of Pam Beesley
No. It’s crazy.
Why am I shorter than the table that I’m standing next to?
Photo of Ryan
Photo of Andy Bernard
There’s cross-hatching in some of these. That’s kind of advanced for a two-year-old.
Cece, this is your big sister Kelly. Did you color this pretty picture?
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Cece
No.
So then this means nothing to you. rips picture
Photo of Kelly Kapoor
Photo of Andy Bernard
Hey, Cece, why don’t you draw another picture for us, exactly like this one, or at least in the exact same style?
You know what? I don’t think you need to do things on command. That’s very weird. I’ll just take that. Thank you. I think we should just wrap up the show, kiddos. Right?
Photo of Jim Halpert
Cece
cries Mama!
Shh.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
I don’t know what else we can do here.
cries Mama, mama, mama.
Cece
Photo of Jim Halpert
It’s okay.
Oh, it’s okay, sweetie.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
All right, all right. Okay.
It’s okay, honey. Philip cries It’s okay, it’s okay.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
All right, I know, I know. Let’s just get this.
Shh.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Cece
Mama!

Angela, this child is definitely mine. He looks just like me.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Angela Martin
Every baby looks just like you. Your face kind of looks like a baby.
Need I remind you that we were together a month before the wedding?
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Angela Martin
That is completely untrue.
Completely true. Remember? Angela. No.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Dwight Schrute
You said that Robert was not fulfilling you-
I did not. Uh-uh.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Dwight Schrute
-and I said, “I bet I could fulfill you,” and you said, “I’d like to see you try,” and then I kissed you with the force of a thousand waterfalls.
That didn’t happen.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Dwight Schrute
And then I inserted my penis-
No! Stop it!
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Into your-
Dwight.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Vagina and-
And even if it did, it’s just a coincidence.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Admit that there is a chance.
I will not.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Admit it. Admit it.
I will not, it’s not-
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Senator Lipton
All done?
Yeah.
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Photo of Senator Lipton
Mmm.
Yes, yes. He’s sleeping.
Photo of Angela Martin
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Before I go, may I?
Sure. gives Philip to Dwight Watch the head, watch the head.
Photo of Angela Martin

Photo of Dwight Schrute
Nurse, you know that baby in there, baby Philip? Cancel the circumcision.
Who are you?
Nurse
Photo of Dwight Schrute
I just might be his father.
I don’t know what that means. We’re gonna circumcise him.
Nurse

Photo of Jim Halpert
Philip is crying I know, buddy, I know. Cece, you want to come? Want to come out?
No!
Cece
Photo of Jim Halpert
Oh bud, I know. Do you have a pacifier or anything?
I’m looking, I’m looking for the pacifier.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Cece!
Okay, we’re going.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Okay, okay, we gotta go. All right, we’re going home, we’re going home. We’re going home, we’re going home. I know, I know, bud.
Shh, shh, shh.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
I know, I know.
You want to grab her?
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
I’m gonna grab her, okay.
Here we go, here we go.
Photo of Pam Beesley
Photo of Jim Halpert
Hi, all right. I’m just going to go down to the car and I’m going to put her in her seat and I’ll be right back up.
groans We’ll see you tomorrow.
Photo of Stanley Hudson
Photo of Jim Halpert
No, no, it’s okay, I’ll be right back.
No, just go home.
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Darryl Phylbin
It’s all good, we got this.

I have a kid. Last week, Jim at home? That was no vacation.
Photo of Darryl Phylbin

Photo of Pam Beesley
Jim.
Just go.
Photo of Phyllis
Photo of Andy Bernard
Hey, we’ll be just fine.
Thanks guys. All right, here we go. Let’s go.
Photo of Jim Halpert
Photo of Andy Bernard
Oh, whew!

Dwight, what the hell? You can’t smoke in here.
Photo of Andy Bernard
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Oh, right. sighs The office looks different now. Huh. Smaller. Maybe I just feel bigger. Hello Gabe.
You had something important to tell me?
Photo of Gabe
Photo of Dwight Schrute
Oh, you know, I did but now it seems infinitely insignificant.

Jim? Oh, right. Nah, forget it. He was doing it for his kids. I get it. Kids drive us dads crazy. Sometimes I feel like they’re raising us. Am I right?
Photo of Dwight Schrute

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