Business Trip - The Office (Season 5, Episode 08)
Michael Scott is sent on a sales call to "Can-uh-duh" by David Wallace. David is trying to help Michael through the pain of Holly Flax being relocated. Included on the trip are Andy and Oscar. David casually suggests that Michael should see the concierge
on arrival to find interesting things to do in the city. Michael does so and meets, Marie, who be believes is the Canadian version of a Geisha. Michael (and the crew) meet Marie at a bar later that night. Michael ends up in her hotel room shortly after.
At the bar, having a couple of long island iced teas, Andy tells Oscar that he and Angela haven't had sex. Oscar tells Andy to call Angela and find out "What's wrong with her." Drunk, Andy does so... and doesn't notice that she is with Dwight Schrute. He tells her
he does not like that they have not had sex. Angela is furious and hangs up on him.
The next morning, Oscar rehashes the events of last night, including Andy's call to Angela. Andy, now sober, freaks out and says he thought it was a dream. Andy calls Angela to apologize and tells Oscar that she has them back on "first base" -
Andy gets to kiss her forehead.
Michael does get the sale and when he calls David - David congratulates him. But Michael is still upset about Holly and tells David what a terrible time he's had on the trip. He gets on the plane to Scranton but says that he stays with the company
only because they respect him enough that he can talk down to his boss without being fired.
Pam calls Jim to tell him she's failed one of her art school classes. She needs to stay in New York to retake it (which means she will need to stay another 12 weeks). Jim, despite wanting her home now, tells her that she needs to come home "the right way" and that
she should stay in New York. On his way to his car after work, Jim finds Pam in the parking lot. Pam tells Jim she is returning "the wrong way". She didn't like graphic design and Scranton is her home.
With Pam back, Ryan moves to the annex with Kelly. He obviously wants to get back together with Kelly but she's with Darryl now. Kelly says she has no intention of breaking up with Darryl and in the next scene you see her and Ryan kissing. Kelly breaks up with Darryl
by text message, and Darryl replies with "it's cool." Ryan and Kelly are now back together, but Ryan is obviously uncomfortable with how easy Darrly made it.
Best Funny Quotes From The Office - Business Trip
Did you know that in Morocco it is common to exchange a small gift when meeting somebody for the first time? In Japan you must always commit suicide to avoid embarrassment. In Italy you must always wash your hands after going to the bathroom. This is considered to be polite.
Why are you telling us this?
I am jetting off on an international business trip.
Where are you going?
Where is it?
My boss is sending me abroad to do a presentation to an international client and I have always been intrigued by all things international. The women, the pancakes, the man of mystery…
Meredith, I would like you to pretend that you are from Abu Dhabi.
British accent Hello.
I am ashamed at your naked face. I must cover it with my jacket. covers Meredith’s face with his jacket You are now sexy in your culture.
Six point five days. winces as Kevin smacks him on the back
walks up behind Jim and puts his hands on his shoulders One more week.
Pam comes back from New York next week and everyone here has just been so excited for me. And involved. And intrusive. And weird.
On more week. chuckles
Heh heh. Jim gives camera an odd look
on speakerphone Do you have your passport?
I have my passport. pats jacket pocket
Got your per diem?
I have my per diem. holds up money I already know what I am going to spend this on. I am going to buy a sweater.
Michael, the… that’s for your food.
Well I’ll just… I’ll use different money for that.
I was happy to send Michael on this trip. He’s been feeling pretty down since we had to transfer Holly up to New Hampshire. But this little perk really seemed to turn him around. chuckling And it’s pretty tough to find somebody who wants to go up to Winnipeg mid-November.
And business class air, like a five-star hotel in the sky, nothing but the best. Actually better than a five-star hotel ’cause you get a big, cushy seat and you sit in a row of people and to eat, whatever the mind can imagine. I think I am going to have a filet with mushroom sauce.
Well, I’m just glad to know you’re happy because you know I felt bad.
Well that is all in the past.
And in terms of nightlife, when you get there just ask the concierge.
They have one of those?
in a singsong voice Lets do this!
Wait, why do you need three suitcases?
Two are for souvenirs.
Do you have your money belt?
I do. It’s right here. indicates to waist
No, no, no, no, no. You want to wear that puppy right up on the breastbone like a bra. demonstrates
No, I don’t want to wear a bra.
Here, let me help you. reaches for Michael’s money belt
Stop it! Stop it!
Do you want to get robbed in a foreign country? I wash my hands of this.
Okay. Where is my translator?
There he is.
I’m just bidding a bon voyage a La Mon Petit fiancee. Translation: Goodbye my petite fiancee. chuckles
I will try.
Meaning I will try to get other dudes laid.
Yeah baby! That’s what I’m talking about. That could be you points at Jim if you hadn’t forgotten French. Where is my numbers man?
There we go. Our town car awaits.
It’s just a van.
Its not just a van.
Look, I know my way around a van. That is just a van.
Dwight, can you get those please?
sighs and picks up Michael’s empty suitcases
on airplane Welcome to Cribs-the business class edition. Check this out. Mimosa.
Handed to me as I sat down. This was my hot towel. It is still wet.
Michael Gary Scott rolling like a pimp!
Take a sip of that. hands Andy his mimosa
Don’t drink all of it. Give some to Oscar.
That’s really good. offers mimosa to Oscar
You want one of your own? I can hook you up.
I’m sorry. You’ll need to keep moving.
Yes, this is Beth. This is my personal valet/flight attendant and she will be helping me this morning.
We need to keep the isle clear.
Get back, get back. Come on, get back to the slums.
Oh boy. follows Oscar back to coach
whisper Hey… guys, check it out. My own personal DVD player and 20 movies.
whispers Andy brought one too.
loudly Harry and the Henderson’s
Shhhh! Keep it down.
I made egg salad sandwiches. Do you want one? holds up sandwich
Could you have picked something stinkier to bring on a plane? Andy laughs My God, Oscar. Really? Do you have a bag of baby poop in there too, to share with everybody? No, I will be ordering my own food, thank you very much.
to stewardess Hi.
Um. I’d like to see a menu please.
Oh, I’m sorry. There are no meals on flights less than two hours.
Oh… okay. looks back at Andy and Oscar Doesn’t matter, because I am going to take a nap. I think I am going to use my complimentary blindfold. I will don it… and oh! Look at that. I can’t see because I am in a– cart crashes into Michael’s leg GAH!
What would you like to drink?
walks into Kelly’s cubicle and sets a box down on the desk Just checking out where I’m going to be pretty soon. When Pam gets back. Gonna be close quarters. Gonna be a lot of tension.
For you. I’m with Darryl.
This looks like where I’ll probably do my pushups every day. gets on floor and starts doing pushups
Is that supposed to impress me? Ryan starts trying to do one-armed pushups
talking head No. Not going to happen. He has hurt me too much and too often. And I am in a healthy relationship so I’m not gonna flaunt it and I’m not gonna hurt him, but that door is closed.
making out with Ryan on her desk What are we doing? This is so wrong.
going up escalator in the hotel This is nice. This is nice. Move in here. Very sweet… ah.
I’ll check us in.
We are going to find out where the action is, my friend.
Where’s the concierge?
Yes! Wallace said there would be one of those.
Mmm… bingo! indicates towards concierge desk Follow moi, bro-sieur.
to concierge What about a nice sushi place? Maybe a place with a view?
Tsk… Oh. Matsuki. That’s a good one. Uh, you may walk there if you wish or you man take the number seventeen bus until 9:00. Other than that you can take the taxi and the number is right there.
Wow! Wow, I am blown away by this. I, um… I–ah! This is great, thank you!
One final question. Where might you find yourself on a Winnipeg night like tonight?
Oh, the Huntsman is good.
nodding towards Michael The Huntsman.
Down here… the financial district.
A concierge is like the Winnipeg equivalent of a geisha. This is a woman who has been trained in the fine art of fanciness and pleasure. And when you meet one, it is intoxicating. Just what the doctor ordered.
at school in NYC Can’t believe this. pulls out cell phone… sighs
in office Are you sure?
over the phone I just talked to my advisor. Failing.
Wow. I thought you were good at Flash.
I was, and then they switched to Acrobat just as I was learning Quark. I hate computers.
Okay, okay, it’s no big deal. So you’re not a computer geek.
I have to stay and retake it.
looks shocked W—Wow. Um. Well… okay.
That means another twelve weeks. pause Can you do this for another three months?
It’s not— It’s not about me. I mean, this your dream.
over phone I know.
And you went to New York to do this. So when you come back you come back the right way. Right?
starting to cry Right.
concerned look on face You okay?
over phone Yeah I’m fine. Um… my cell phone battery’s low, so I have to let you go.
over phone Love you. Bye.
Love you too. hangs up phone, Pam sits on a bench crying
Guys, she’s in there.
Engaging wings imitates mechanical sound
I’m probably going to leave after one drink.
Let’s do this.
Yeah with a hot slab of Canadian bacon in your hand.
goes up to concierge from the hotel Excuse me, hello. Concierge Marie. Michael Scott. Good to see you again.
Um, this is my associate uh, from Dunder Mifflin, uh, Oscar Martinez.
Nice to meet you. shakes Marie’s hand
Works in accounting. This is uh, concierge Marie…
…who works at our hotel. You look, how do you say, radiant tonight.
And it is, how do you say, a beautiful night—
She’s foreign. I am–
For Madame et monsieur. hands Michael and Marie a glass of wine
Oh, thank you.
Thank you, Andy.
Let me get a picture of you guys.
Everyone is going to end up dying someday. And I think it’s better to die with people you like… like Oscar, and Andy, and concierge Marie… than to know that there’s somebody out there that you love that you’re not with.
Alright, I’ve scoped out the joint. Those two dudes are as good as naked.
How do you even know they’re gay?
Come on! It’s Dandy Dale and Foppy McGee over there. turns to bartender Mademoiselle! Beer me dos Long Island iced teas s’ill vous plait. to Oscar Bad decision in a glass.
I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, engaged… whatever. A guy needs intercourse.
You’ll thank me when they spank thee.
Don’t do this. watches Andy take drinks to the other table
Do you guys like apples?
Do you like apples?
Uh, sorry… what?
Guy at table
Well, how do you like these apples? sets drinks on table Alright, on a scale of 1 – 10, how hot is that dude? indicates towards Oscar who waves slightly
Is he your boyfriend or something?
Guy at table
No, but he could be yours if you play your cards right.
Dude, leave us alone alright?
Gentleman. walks away
What are you doing?
Dude, you struck out. They’re totally stuck up. Here… drink up.
How about this one? It’s Christmas eve—
—and everything’s closed and you need to get some dry cleaning done. 12:00 midnight. Where do you go? What do you do? What do you do? Come on! What do you do?
Uh…A stro cleaners on St. Johns place is the only place open on that day.
If you don’t mind me asking—
Anything. You can ask me anything.
I’m your wingman.
Its just that I’ve sat next to Angela for a very long, very long time.
How could anyone stand that woman?
What do you see in her? Wh — what do you see in Angela?
What do I see in Angela?
I want to know.
I see through a hard exterior to a little jelly in the middle. She is teaching me to be a better person. And she’s working really hard on that. And she has the softest skin I’ve ever seen and I can’t wait to have sex with her.
You haven’t had sex?
Y–Are you guys waiting to get married, or?
Honestly, I don’t know what we’re waiting for.
Andy, something is wrong with that woman.
What is wrong with her?
I’d like to know. You should call her and ask her. I’d like to know what’s wrong with her.
I should call her and ask her. What is wrong with her?
Do it! It’s a— Call her! Andy holds up phone Oh my God, don’t call her! Don’t call her, Andy. giggling Andy, don’t call her!
Too late, too late. It’s dialing… now it’s ringing. Oscar laughs Shh…
on phone Hello? Hello?
What is wrong with you?
Why won’t you do Andy?
That was Oscar and he wants to know why you won’t do me and I think it’s a valid question.
Are you drunk?
This is Andy Bernard!
I know who this is!
I wanna take you to sex school.
over phone Who is that monkey?
Is somebody there?
Are you drunk?
I have needs.
We will discuss this later.
We’ll discuss it later naked. I want to see you naked.
standing outside hotel room… whispering Do you want to get some breakfast or something?
I am so tired.
noticing that everyone is giving him a sympathetic look How does everyone know already?
Pam failed art school.
Oh, well, doesn’t surprise me.
Have you seen her painting, Jim? The building? There are shadows coming from two different directions.
Dwight, stop it.
What? Are there two suns?
Oh my God.
Last I checked, that’s not an office building in the Andromeda galaxy.
I’m gonna grab a cup of coffee.
It’s totally unrealistic. There are no lines in the parking lot.
That was fun last night.
Yeah, it was.
You know, it’s true what they say— Long Island iced teas are way stronger in Canada.
Hey, um… thanks for trying to hook me up.
You kidding me? It’s what I do. Get the whole nine ‘nards. Oscar laughs
I can’t believe we called her up. both laugh
Totally. continues laughing What— Who?
I’m talking about Angela. I can’t believe we called her up last night.
We called Angela?
You— you call— you called her.
That was real?! I thought I dreamed that. Oh, God!
Good morning, Michael. Michael approaches table Are you ready for the meeting?
Slept like a baby.
Mmmm…. mmm. This can’t happen again.
This has to happen again. Darryl can’t happen again. Look at me. Do you want me to do more push-ups?
Okay. You have to break up with Darryl. I already typed out a text message for you. All you have to do is press “send”.
I don’t know. I mean, it’s well-written and all, I just—
Has to be done. We’ll press send together. phone beeps
Oh my God. He’s going to kill us.
I’d like to see him try. kisses Kelly… cell phone beeps
Oh! He says it’s cool. laughs He said, “It’s cool”.
That’s all he wrote?
That’s all he wrote.
Can I see it?
Didn’t you two date for like a long time?
Mmm hmm. It’s like a fairy tale! grabs Ryan and kisses him Mmmm…
I’ll be honest with you— we’ve been talking with Catalyst Paper. Their prices are better than yours.
Look, people continue to come back to us time and time again because they feel cared for here. They feel respected and they feel that their needs matter. They are treated like human beings. sighs
Oh man, she is so pissed. sitting down by Oscar
She’s taking us back to first base.
What is first base with Angela?
I get to kiss her forehead. looks at Oscar I had a good time hanging out this weekend.
I had a good time too.
Wingman for life. W.M.F.L
You up for a chest bump?
Bro hug? Oscar shakes head… then sticks his hand out and Andy shakes it Back to basics. I like it.
I had to go all the way to Canada to get to know a guy who sits 20 feet away from me. And he’s delightful! laughs
on phone Hey! I just heard you guys made the sale.
Yeah, we locked him up for two years.
Good, very good. See, told you. Sounds like somebody had a good trip.
No. Actually the trip sucked.
The trip sucked, David. It blew chunks. It was terrible. It was a bad trip.
What are you talking about?
I did not like the trip. Well, starting with her airport shuttle which was basically just a van.
And business class which was basically just coach. And the hotel which sucked big time.
The hotel? What, M— okay.
It was not, it sucked.
I’m sorry to hear the hotel was bad.
Oh and thanks for the tip on the concerige. That was great. That was great. That was— that was a—
Okay, okay. Hey, hey, hey.
That was a really good choice.
Michael, please lets listen for a second.
No, David. You listen to me. Why did you send her away? That— God. You knew I liked her and you just sent her away. And that— that was a sucky thing to do man.
That was a really sucky thing to do.
Sometimes, we– Michael hangs up phone
Why have I stayed at Dunder Mifflin for so long? Certainly not because of the paycheck. ‘Cause I could be making more money as a doctor or a professional athlete. I think it’s because they respect me. A boss that will not fire you, even though you just tell him off… right to his face… over the hone. That’s respect.
You did it, man. fist bumps Jim Day one. Congrats.
I’m coming back the wrong way. smiles at Jim across the parking lot It’s not because of you. I don’t like graphic design. That’s it. laughs Stop smiling. I really didn’t like it. It’s just designing logos and stuff…. and I miss Scranton. But it is not because I missed you. I just really wanted to come home… and I know you said to come home the right way, but you can’t tell me what to do. Got it?
I missed you.
I missed you too. Jim kisses her
Good. I need you to make five copies of these. hands Pam papers
I’m not going inside.
Alright. First thing in the morning then.
We’re back together again baby.
They tried to keep us apart, but they couldnt. It was like destiny.
I— I realized that for whatever reason I… just couldn’t do better than kelly.