The Office Quotes

Links to quotes from all episodes are below.

Michael: Todd Packer and I are total BFF. Best Friends Borever. He and I came up together as salesmen. One time we were out adn we met this set of twins and Packer told them that we were brothers. And so ya know, one thing let to another and we brought them back to the hotel and then Packer did both of them. It was awesome.


Michael: Pam, you're trustworthy...
Pam: Thank you.
Michael: ...and a woman.
Pam: Oh no.


Jim: That's just a figure of speech, ya know, "Blow Your Brains Out". Come on, all it really means is that we're friends.


Michael: Chili's is the new golf course. It's where business happens. Small Businessman Magazine.
Jan: It said that?
Michael: It will. I sent it in. Letter to the Editor.


Angela: I would take "The DaVinci Code" so I could burn "The DaVinci Code".


Michael: Man that Todd Packer can do anything.
Jim: (Under his breath) Except pass that breathalizer


(After Michael painfully tries to fire Creed, the camera crew asks Michael is he's ever gone hunting.) Michael: Yeah, I went hunting once. Shot the deer in the leg. Had to kill it with a shovel, took about an hour. Why do you ask?

Michael: There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it is a joke.


Toby: Great point. um...In fact, Basic rule of thumb...Let's just act everyday like Pam's mom is coming in.


Great Quotes From All Episodes

Season 1, All Episodes

Season 2, Episodes 1-8

Season 2, Episodes 9-16

Season 2, Episodes 17-23

Season 3, Episodes 1-8

Season 3, Episodes 9-16