The Office Quotes Season 3

Want to duplicate the hilarity of The Office Sitcom in your own office. Try these quotes on for size.

The Convict


Angela: (on protecting the ex-convict, Martin Nash) As a 90 lb. female that sits in an ill-lit, rarely visited corner of the office, naturally I agree with that.


Kevin: I had Martin explain to me 3 times what he got arrested for because it sounds an awful lot like what I do here everyday.


Michael: Martin went from being a new guy from Stamford, to the convict, to my friend, back to a convict, then to kind of a nucense actually to be completely honest, and finally to a quitter, and I will not miss him and that is not because he is black.


Read the episode recap for The Office The Convict


A Benihana Christmas


Dwight: Once I brought in a duck to prepare for lunch. And people got upset. Apparently, they got attached to the duck and didn't want to see it dead.


Jim: You just had a rebound. Don't get me wrong rebounds can be fun and a nice distraction. But when they're over your left thinking about the girl you really like, the one that broke your heart.


Jim: It's a bold move to photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael's a bold guy.


Michael: This is that old adage, but they say: when you find true love you know in the first 24 hours. With Carol I knew in the first 24 minutes of the second day I met her.


Read the episode recap for The Office A Benihana Christmas


Back From Vacation


Pam: OH! Also, Michael went to Jamaica with Jan!
Jim: Yeah, how have we not talked about this already? What happend there? Kidnapping?


Toby: Hey, I need to talk to you.
Michael: Not now, Not ever!


Jan: My psychiatrist says I have self distructive tendencies.


Read the episode recap for The Office Back From Vacation


Traveling Salesmen


Jim: (opening the door) After you sir.
Dwight: No thank you. I never let anyone walk behind me. 70% of all attacks come from the rear.
Jim: Well that still leaves the 30% that I'll attack you from the front.


Michael: Fool me once, strike 1. Fool me twice, strike 3.


Read the episode recap for The Office Traveling Salesmen


The Return


Michael: I don't want someone sucking up to me because they think I can help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me.


Andy: (talking to Jim) I am thrilled to be working directly beneath you. I feel I have a lot I can learn from you. Even though you are younger and less experienced.


Jim: I miss Dwight. Congratulations Universe, You win!


Michael: (talking about Andy) He's up in my bid-ness, which is ebonics for "being in my face and annoying the bajeezes out of me. I don't understand how someone could have so little self awareness.


Michael: Your gayness is not what defines you. Your Mexicanness is what defines you to me.


Jim: Hey Ryan, do you want to pull a prank on Andy?
Ryan: Not right now, but ask me again 10 years ago.
Jim: I liked you better as the temp.
Ryan: Me too.


Read the episode recap for The Office The Return



Great Quotes From All Episodes

Season 1, All Episodes

Season 2, Episodes 1-8

Season 2, Episodes 9-16

Season 2, Episodes 17-23

Season 3, Episodes 1-8

Season 3, Episodes 9-16